8 3:8Deacons likewise must be dignified, not double-tongued, not addicted to much wine, not greedy for dishonest gain. 9 3:9They must hold the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience. 10 3:10And let them also be tested first; then let them serve as deacons if they prove themselves blameless. 11 3:11Their wives likewise must be dignified, not slanderers, but sober-minded, faithful in all things. 12 3:12Let deacons each be the husband of one wife, managing their children and their own households well. 13 3:13For those who serve well as deacons gain a good standing for themselves and also great confidence in the faith that is in Christ Jesus.
The apostles set a precedent showing the church what to do when the ministry of the Word is unduly encumbered by the demands of service. The apostles do not play one obligation against the other; neither the Word nor the widows should be neglected. So the apostles appoint servants (or “deacons,” though they are not referred to by that term in Acts 6), seven men full of the spirit and of wisdom, who serve the widows so that the apostles may devote themselves to prayer and the ministry of the Word. These deacons are servants, men of character, who embody what it means to serve God by serving others.
The apostles recognized a need for servants in Acts 6. Likewise, Paul recognizes that servants will be needed by the church in Ephesus, and he instructs Timothy that the deacons “likewise” hold an office in the church that requires them to have exemplary character. Just as elders have to meet certain requirements of character, so also do deacons. The qualifications are similar to those for elders but not identical. Deacons must be:
(1) “Dignified,” or “worthy of respect/honor, noble, dignified, serious” (BDAG, s.v. σεμνός). The deacon must not be the kind of man whom no one takes seriously. He must be someone whose character evokes respect and admiration.
(2) “Not double-tongued.” The deacon must not trade in insincere, two-faced speech. He must be a truth-teller, not a people-pleaser, with his words.
(3) “Not addicted to much wine.” The Greek term rendered “addicted” is translated elsewhere as “devoted” and indicates that the deacon must not be one who occupies himself with much wine (BDAG, s.v. προσέχω). Any man who is a “[hero] at drinking wine” (Isa. 5:22) but a failure at sobriety must not be a deacon (cf. Eph. 5:18).
(4) “Not greedy for dishonest [or “sordid”] gain.” A deacon cannot be someone who loves money. Any person who loves money more than God cannot be a disciple of Jesus, much less a deacon (Matt. 6:24).
(5) One who “[holds to] the mystery of the faith.” Whereas the elder must be “able to teach,” the deacon does not hold that responsibility. But the deacon must nevertheless “hold [to] the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience.” Mystery is a technical term in Paul’s writings that refers to something once hidden but now revealed in the gospel. In short, the mystery of the faith is the gospel of Jesus Christ crucified and raised for sinners. To miss that message is to miss everything, and so a deacon has to know and believe that message. And he cannot do so with his fingers crossed. He must hold it “with a clear conscience.”
This line of reasoning is not persuasive. The underlying word is the typical Greek term for “woman” or “wife.” The same word is used in the very next verse, where it clearly indicates “wife.” Further, the word “likewise” suggests a group similar to but distinct from the diaconate (just as the word “likewise” in verse 8 suggests that deacons are similar to but distinct from the elders). Since Paul’s instructions before and after verse 11 are focused on deacons, it makes more sense to see verse 11 as somehow related to deacon qualifications as well.
Phoebe’s designation as a diakonos (translated “servant” or “deacon”) is unconvincing evidence of female deacons. Diakonos has semantic range, and not all uses of this term denote an office of the church (e.g., 1 Cor. 3:5; 2 Cor. 6:4). The mere use of the term diakonos in connection with someone from a particular church does not establish that the person in question was a deacon. With respect to Phoebe, I agree with the caution urged in the NET Bible’s notes on Romans 16:1: “Epaphras is associated with the church in Colossians and is called a διάκονος in Col 1:7, but no contemporary translation regards him as a deacon. In 1 Tim 4:6 Paul calls Timothy a διάκονος; Timothy was associated with the church in Ephesus, but he obviously was not a deacon. In addition, the lexical evidence leans away from this view: Within the NT, the διακον- word group rarely functions with a technical nuance. In any case, the evidence is not compelling either way.” At best, Phoebe’s status as a deacon is less than certain and therefore can hardly establish the case for deaconesses in 1 Timothy 3:11. The ESV’s rendering captures the correct sense of the term: “their wives” (i.e., “deacons’ wives”).
Thus Paul is most likely teaching that the behavior of the deacon’s wife must be exemplary (much like submissive children are an evidence of an elder’s management of the home in 3:4). These women, whether or not they hold office, do hold responsibility for serving others. This is why they must bear character qualities fitted for a servant. Paul lists four such qualities:
(1) “Dignified” refers to one who is “worthy of respect/honor, noble, dignified, serious” (BDAG, s.v. σεμνός). This woman must command the respect of those who meet her.
(2) “Not slanderers.” They must not be malicious gossips.
(3) “Sober-minded.” This term was attached to the elders in verse 2. It signifies that such women must not be drunkards but must be clear-minded and must exhibit good judgment.
(4) “Faithful in all things.” Obviously, Paul is not demanding perfection. But such women must be “trustworthy, faithful, dependable” (BDAG, s.v. πιστός, italics original).
1 Knight, Pastoral Epistles, 174.