1 Timothy 5:1–8

5:1 The first two verses revolve around the two commands in verse 1: “do not rebuke” and “encourage.” It is clear that the two commands apply equally to every personality in the list that follows. If we were to fill-in the ellipses, the sense would be as follows:

Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father.

Do not rebuke younger men, but encourage them as brothers.

Do not rebuke older women, but encourage them as mothers.

Do not rebuke younger women, but encourage them as sisters, in all purity.

At first glance, it can be surprising to hear Paul forbidding Timothy from rebuking. That would seem to contradict what Paul has said elsewhere about the necessity of rebuking false teachers (1 Tim. 1:3; 2 Tim. 2:25; Titus 1:9) and what the Bible says generally about the goodness of a faithful rebuke (Prov. 17:10; 27:5; 28:23).

Rebukes can be life-giving and helpful, but that is not the kind of “rebuke” in view here. The literal sense of the Greek term is to beat something or someone with the fists. In certain contexts the term suggests physical violence, but it can also mean something like “speak harshly.” It is possible to abuse someone with fists; it is possible also to abuse someone with words. Timothy should not verbally assault his congregants: he must not lord his authority over the flock by berating them (1 Pet. 5:3; cf. Matt. 20:25; Mark 10:42).

Timothy is not to obliterate but is to conciliate with his words. The term translated “encourage” usually has the sense of strongly appealing to someone, urging or exhorting him or her to do something. It is thus likely that Paul has in view the manner in which a pastor exhorts his people in his teaching and preaching ministry. The term also has the added sense of speaking in a conciliatory, friendly manner, a nuance Paul seems to intend here. Even if the pastor must confront, he must do so in a way that respects the person addressed. A wise and courageous pastor will always remember Solomon’s words when exhorting his people: “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Prov. 12:18). Even in confrontation, a pastor’s aim is not to deliver the coup de grâce but to heal.

First, Paul says that Timothy must not speak harshly to “an older man” but exhort him as he would a father. Timothy should avoid talking down to a man who is older than he. Even if an older man is wrong and needs correction, Timothy must draw not the sword but the scalpel. He ought to speak with the same respect he would accord to his own father. If a pastor pulls a sword, he may destroy the older man. Or it is just as likely that the older man may draw his sword as well, and the ensuing verbal duel can cause division and get out of hand very quickly. “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Prov. 15:1).

Second, Timothy must not speak harshly to “younger men” but exhort them as brothers. Addressing younger men is different from addressing older men; both situations require respect, but expressed in different ways. A pastor will not say, “Yes, sir” and “No, sir” to a younger man, but neither will he talk down to him. He must treat younger men like brothers. A pastor must respect the younger men in a way that is due their age and station. This calls for honesty, truthfulness, and forbearance.

5:2 Third, Timothy must not speak harshly to “older women” but must encourage them as mothers. A pastor must not treat women who are his seniors with careless disregard. Rather, he should care for them and speak to them as he would his own mother. The respect required for older men is also called for in relating to older women. But there may be an added dynamic that Paul wishes to accent. A man has a kind of built-in protectiveness when it comes to his own mother. Perhaps Paul is appealing to this sensibility as well and calling Timothy to have a sense of protectiveness for the elder women of the congregation.

Fourth, Timothy must not speak harshly to “younger women” but must encourage them as sisters “in all purity.” Pastors must treat younger women with the respect due their age and station. But Paul adds one more element: Timothy is to treat them “in all purity.” The word translated “purity” occurs only two times in the NT, here and in 4:12: “Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.” The word indicates moral purity, and its connection with younger women here indicates that Paul has sexual purity specifically in mind.

Paul adds this note about sexual purity likely because a particular pitfall is all too common: sexual immorality. A pastor who has learned the art of communicating with warmth and compassion can easily find himself in a situation of emotional connection with a woman with whom he ought not have such a connection. And so, there must be no hint of impropriety in his ministry to younger women.

Paul places two obligations on Timothy’s relationship to younger women. He must treat them “in all purity” and “as sisters.” On the one hand, he must relate to these young women “in all purity.” He must learn to look at these women and to talk to them in ways that neither imply nor intend any possibility of sexual interest. There are certain emotional and physical connections that are appropriate only to marriage, and Timothy must avoid making those connections with women who are not his spouse. He must relate “in all purity.”

On the other hand, Timothy has an obligation to relate to these young women as “sisters.” He must not simply withdraw entirely from relating to the women of the congregation. Sibling relationships show us that it is possible to have a warm brotherly love for a person of the opposite sex involving no sexual intention or possibility. Accordingly, Paul presses the familial analogy in his teaching concerning sexual purity.

5:3 In verses 1–2, Paul has told Timothy how he must treat different kinds of people in the congregation. Among other things, Paul instructs Timothy to treat the older women as mothers. But what if one of these older women loses her husband to death? In verses 3–8, Paul says that Timothy must teach the church to treat these widows as they would their own mothers—they must take care of them.

The word translated “widow” indicates a woman whose husband has died, but the idea of neediness is often associated with this word as well (BDAG). Elsewhere this word is paired with “orphan”—another class of persons with great need. So while it may be clear that a woman is a widow, it is not always equally clear whether there is great neediness in her life. The ones “who are truly widows” are those who are truly destitute.

Timothy must “honor” such widows. The word translated “honor” appears in the fifth commandment in Exodus 20:12 (LXX), “Honor [tima] your father and your mother.” To treat an older widow as a mother means to “honor” her in the sense commanded in Exodus. The honor in view is not merely reverence and respect but also honor in the sense found in the word honorarium. To honor such widows means to provide material help when needed (cf. Mark 7:10–12).

5:4 The primary responsibility of providing for widows belongs, however, to the widow’s family, rather than to the church. Why? Because that honor is owed to her by her own family. The phrase Paul uses here is actually redundant—her children are literally to “give back a recompense” (ESV “make some return”) to her. Paul’s logic assumes that a widow’s offspring owe her for the way she raised and took care of them.

How could anyone ever repay his or her mother for what she gave them? By taking care of her in her time of need. She is the mother of her own children, and it is her children’s privilege and responsibility to compensate her for the goodness she bestowed on them. When children do so, it is “pleasing in the sight of God.” In other words, God expects children to care for their aging mothers. Jesus himself gives no quarter to those who would set aside God’s Word about honoring father and mother (Matt. 15:3–9). Jesus recognizes that honoring one’s parents means providing for them financially when they are in need. Jesus modeled this priority by honoring his own mother as he died on the cross (John 19:26–27).

5:5 Paul describes the character of a woman who is “truly a widow.” These mothers of the church are manifestly and truly followers of Jesus. The list of descriptors confirms this: (1) she hopes in God, (2) she appeals to him for help, (3) she prays in worship to him alone, and (4) she perseveres in this continually, “night and day.” In short, she is a believer, and her piety toward God proves it.

5:6 In contrast, the one “who is self-indulgent” is not “truly” (cf. v. 5) a widow. The word rendered “self-indulgent” describes one who seeks to “indulge oneself beyond the bounds of propriety, live luxuriously/voluptuously” (BDAG, s.v. σπαταλάω, italics original). Ezekiel uses this term to describe the sin of Sodom: “Moreover this was the sin of thy sister Sodom, pride: she and her daughters lived in pleasure, in fullness of bread and in abundance: this belonged to her and her daughters, and they helped not the hand of the poor and needy” (Ezek. 16:49 LXX). The widow who lives for pleasure is “dead even while she lives.” She does not have the life of God in her; she is not a disciple of Jesus. Thus she is not a part of the family and is not “truly” a widow. Such women are not eligible for the church’s support.

5:7–8 Some interpreters believe that verse 7 is aimed at the behavior of the widows. It is more likely, however, that the exhortation is intended for the children and grandchildren of widows. With regards to caring for the aging widows in their own family, the family members must be “without reproach” (cf. comment on “above reproach,” 3:2). Those who refuse to care for their own family members are behaving in a manner worse than unbelievers. This is not behavior that brings honor to the gospel; on the contrary, it is an implicit denial of the faith.