Qualities of a Godly  Leader—part 2  Home Life,  Spiritual Maturity,  Public Reputation (3:4-7)

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He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity (but if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?); and not a new convert, lest he become conceited and fall into the condemnation incurred by the devil. And he must have a good reputation with those outside the church, so that he may not fall into reproach and the snare of the devil. (3:4-7)

The most important qualities leaders can demonstrate are not intelligence, a forceful personality, glibness, diligence, vision, administrative skills, decisiveness, courage, humor, tact, or any other similar natural attribute. Those all play a part, but the most desirable quality for any leader is integrity.

While integrity is most desirable in secular leadership, its absence is fatal to spiritual leadership. Underlining this, John Stott writes,

All leadership seeks to accomplish one goal: influence. Leaders seek to influence people to achieve their objectives. Influence is a direct result of teaching and example. What a man is will influence his followers to be fully committed to what he says. Teaching sets the nails into the mind, but example is the hammer that drives them in deep. Not surprisingly, the Scripture has much to say about the power of example to influence behavior, both for good and for evil. In Leviticus 18:3 God warned Israel not to follow the example of their pagan neighbors: “You shall not do what is done in the land of Egypt where you lived, nor are you to do what is done in the land of Canaan where I am bringing you; you shall not walk in their statutes.” Deuteronomy 18:9 repeats that warning: “When you enter the land which the Lord your God gives you, you shall not learn to imitate the detestable things of those nations.” Proverbs 22:24-25 warns, “Do not associate with a man given to anger; or go with a hot-tempered man, lest you learn his ways, and find a snare for yourself.” The power of an evil ruler to influence his subordinates is seen in Proverbs 29:12: “If a ruler pays attention to falsehood, all his ministers become wicked.” Hosea echoed that warning: “And it will be, like people, like priest; so I will punish them for their ways, and repay them for their deeds” (Hos. 4:9). Our Lord gave this indictment of the Scribes and Pharisees in Matthew 23:1-3:

The Bible also encourages us to follow godly examples. Paul commended the Thessalonians for becoming “imitators of us and of the Lord” (1 Thess. 1:6). To the Philippians he wrote, “The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things” (Phil. 4:9). He encouraged both Timothy (1 Tim. 4:12) and Titus (Titus 2:7) to be good examples for their people to follow. Hebrews 13:7 exhorts us to follow the example of godly leaders, while James 5:10 points us to the example of the prophets. Peter admonishes elders to be examples to their flocks (1 Peter 5:3).

The power of example can be seen in the influence of two of Israel’s kings. Repeatedly, godly kings of the southern kingdom are said to have followed the example of David (cf. 1 Kings 3:3; 15:11; 2 Kings 18:1-3; 22:1-2; 2 Chron. 29:1-2; 34:1-2), while wicked kings of the northern kingdom are said to walk in the sins of Jeroboam (cf. 1 Kings 16:1-2, 18-19, 25-26, 30-31; 2 Kings 3:1-3; 10:29, 31; 13:1-2,6, 10-11; 14:23-24; 15:8-9, 17-18, 23-24, 27-28; 17:22).

It is not enough for a leader in the church to teach the truth, he must also model it. Richard Baxter writes,

Integrity is living what you teach and preach. That is why all the qualifications for leaders given in this passage describe their moral character. It is not the typical list a corporate analyst might come up with, because the issue is not leadership skills, but spiritual example. One who would lead people to Christlikeness must be a pattern of godly behavior for his people to follow. He must be above reproach in his moral life (see chapter 9 of this volume), home life, spiritual maturity, and public reputation.

THE HOME LIFE OF A GODLY LEADER

He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity (but if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?); (3:4-5)

It is not enough for the overseer to have an exemplary personal life, he must also have an exemplary home life. He must not be, like Talkative in Pilgrim’s Progress, “a saint abroad, and a devil at home” (John Bunyan, Pilgrim’s Progress [reprint; Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1976], 76). The family is the proving ground for leadership skills.

Throughout history, there have been those who advocated celibacy for spiritual leaders. Such a faction existed in Ephesus (cf. 4:3). In contrast, however, the Word of God assumes that a leader will be married and have a family. Although that does not eliminate single men, it is nevertheless the norm. Spiritual leaders are to be successful leaders in the family.

Manages means “presides,” or “has authority over.” The same word is translated “rule” in 5:17, showing the link between leading the home and leading the church. In the home, as in the church, it is God’s plan for men to assume the leadership role (cf. 2:9-15).

Well is from kalos, a rich word that could also be translated “excellently.” Its meaning can be better understood by comparing it to agathos. Agathos means “inherently,” “morally,” or “practically good.” Kalos takes that a step further and adds the idea of aesthetically good, beautiful, and appealing to the eye. An elder must be one whose leadership in the home is not only intrinsically good, but also visibly good.

It is possible for a man to meet the moral qualifications for a pastor, yet be disqualified because of his evident lack of leadership in the home. A man who came to Christ later in life, after his wife and children had established patterns of behavior, and had a home in chaos, could serve the Lord, but not as an elder or a deacon (3:12).

Household includes an elder’s family and more, because it reaches to everything connected with the home. He must be a good steward of his house and his finances—all the people and resources over which he has responsibility. Someone, for example, who managed his family well, but mismanaged his money and possessions, would be disqualified. The man who serves as a pastor must demonstrate that he can lead people to salvation and sanctification because he has done that in his own home—which is a model, a pattern for all homes to follow.

Further, a leader in the church must keep his children under control with all dignity. That qualification is not meant to exclude men without children, but merely assumes they will be present. Hupotag ē (under control) is a military term. It speaks of lining up in rank under one in authority. An elder’s children are to be respectful, well-disciplined, and believers (Titus 1:6). Dignity includes courtesy, humility, and competence. It could be translated “respect,” or “stateliness.” An elder’s children must bring honor to their parents. The obvious implication is that his family is ordered, disciplined, not rebellious, as Paul adds in Titus 1:6, “not accused of dissipation or rebellion.” He also demands in that same verse that the elder have “children who believe.” The point is that one given the task of leading men and women to justification, sanctification, and service in the church must have shown in the home that he is capable of such leadership.

There are four keys to producing children who bring honor to their parents. First, a father must exercise the authority that makes it advisable for his children to obey. Disobedience must be met with immediate negative consequences. Proverbs 13:24 says, “He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently” (cf. Prov. 22:15; 23:13-14; 29:15).

Second, a father must have enough wisdom to make it natural and reasonable for his children to obey. Authority must not be arbitrary, but tempered with reasonableness. Children may not challenge their father’s authority, yet should understand why they are expected to behave in a certain way.

Third, a father must show a love that makes it delightful to obey. Children should be motivated to obey because they do not want their intimate love relationship with him to be hindered.

Fourth, a father must be able to convince his children of the urgency, priority, and privileges of salvation and obedience to the Word of God.

The reason a church leader must have a well-managed home is obvious: If a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God? The phrase church of God should be taken as a reference to a local assembly (cf. 1 Cor. 1:2; 2 Cor. 1:1). Take care of is from epimelomai, a broad term that is used in our Lord’s parable of the good Samaritan (Luke 10:34-35). An elder is responsible for leading people to God, to holiness, to obedience, and to witness—crucial matters that must be tested in his own home. Resolving conflict, building unity, maintaining love, and serving each other are essentials to church life that are challenges also in the home. If he succeeds in his family, he is likely to succeed in God’s family. If not, he is disqualified.

THE SPIRITUAL MATURITY OF A GODLY LEADER

and not a new convert, lest he become conceited and fall into the condemnation incurred by the devil. (3:6)

Since one of the great dangers facing the overseer is pride, humility is an essential qualification. Neophutos (new convert) appears only here in the New Testament. It is used in extrabiblical Greek to refer to a newly planted tree, hence its metaphorical use here. An elder must not be newly baptized as a Christian, lest he become conceited. Placing him in a leadership role would expose him to the temptation of pride. That would be especially true if he were elevated in a respected, established church like Ephesus. That this qualification is absent from the list in Titus 1 may reflect the fact that the churches on Crete were relatively new, made up of new believers. In that case, placing younger converts in leadership would not so readily lead to pride, since their fellow elders would be relatively new. An elder, then, is to be drawn from the most spiritually mature in the congregation, but that maturity must be viewed in relationship to each individual congregation. The relative measure of spiritual maturity in an established church in the United States varies from that in a first-generation church in a third-world nation.

Conceited is from tuphoō, which derives from a root word meaning “smoke.” The verb means “to puff up like a cloud of smoke.” Putting a new convert into a position of spiritual leadership is apt to puff him up, to put his head in the clouds. That would place him in grave danger of falling into the condemnation incurred by the devil. That does not mean an individual is condemned by Satan, since the Bible never portrays him as a judge. It is best taken as an objective genitive; he falls into the same kind of judgment pronounced by God on Satan. The context, which deals with the danger of pride, also lends support to that interpretation. The judgment or condemnation of the devil was a demotion from a high position due to his sinful pride. That is the danger awaiting the man placed in a position of spiritual leadership before he is ready. As Proverbs 16:18 warns, “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before stumbling.”

It was pride that brought Satan down. Not content with being the highest ranking angel, he sought to exalt himself above God (cf. Ezek. 28:11-19; Isa. 14:12-14). The five “I wills” of Isaiah 14:12-14 clearly show his pride. As a result, Satan, who had “the seal of perfection” and was “full of wisdom and perfect in beauty” (Ezek. 28:12), who had been on the “holy mountain of God” and served as “the anointed cherub who covers” (Ezek. 28:14), was “cast… as profane from the mountain of God” (Ezek. 28:16; cf. Rev. 12:9).

What happened to Satan could easily happen to an immature Christian elevated to eldership. It is that danger which Paul warns Timothy against. The antidote to pride is humility, which is the mark of a spiritually mature leader (Matt. 23:11-12). The church must not lift up those whom the Lord will later have to cut down.

THE PUBLIC REPUTATION OF A GODLY LEADER

And he must have a good reputation with those outside the church, so that he may not fall into reproach and the snare of the devil. (3:7)

The godly character of an elder must not be manifested only in his personal life, the church, and his home. He must also have a good reputation with those outside the church. Reputation translates marturia, from which our English word “martyr” derives. The word speaks of a certifying testimony. An elder’s character is to be certified by the testimony of those outside the church. A man chosen to lead the church must maintain a reputation in the community for righteousness, moral character, love, kindness, generosity, and goodness. All will certainly not agree with his theology, and he will no doubt face antagonism when he takes a stand for God’s truth. Nevertheless, those outside the church must recognize him as a man of impeccable reputation. How can a man have a spiritual impact on his community if that community does not respect him? Such an individual can do nothing but bring reproach or disgrace on the cause of Christ.

In Romans 2:23-24, Paul delivered a scathing indictment of Israel: “You who boast in the Law, through your breaking the Law, do you dishonor God? For ‘the name of God is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you,’ just as it is written.” Israel, meant to be a light to the nations, instead caused them to blaspheme.

The Bible expects every believer’s life to be a positive testimony to the watching world, and that is especially true of those in pastoral positions. Paul exhorted the Philippians to “prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world” (Phil. 2:15). Colossians 4:5 urges believers to “conduct yourselves with wisdom toward outsiders.” Peter wrote, “Keep your behavior excellent among the Gentiles, so that in the thing in which they slander you as evildoers, they may on account of your good deeds, as they observe them, glorify God in the day of visitation” (1 Peter 2:12).

By having a good reputation in the community, an elder will avoid the snare of the devil. The genitive here is subjective, and refers to the snare set by Satan. God does not set traps for his people (cf. James 1:13), but Satan would like nothing better than to set a trap to discredit a leader in the church. D. Edmond Hiebert writes,

Leaders face many temptations from the very nature of their position, without unnecessarily adding others. First, they face the temptation to discouragement. Failing to live up to the high standards they set for themselves can bring discouragement. People who fail to grow or respond, who fall away, or fail to live up to the leader’s expectations can also be a source of discouragement.

Second, leaders are tempted to indifference. That temptation is an outgrowth of the first one. Some leaders respond to discouragement by distancing themselves from people who could wound them with disappointments.

Third, leaders face the temptation of what might be termed “busy laziness.” They take the path of least resistance and do what they want to do, not what they need to do. Though they appear to be busy, they are in reality lazy, since they do not discipline themselves to do what needs to be done.

Fourth, leaders are tempted to compromise. They avoid saying what ought to be said for the sake of pleasing men.

Finally, leaders face all the temptations common to other Christians. They, more than anyone, need to keep the armor of God on at all times (cf. Eph. 6:11).

To elevate someone prematurely to a leadership role is to expose him to temptation over and above that normally faced by leaders. A man in such a position is all too likely to fall into Satan’s snare.

Ephesus needed to choose carefully its leaders, and so do we. We need to pray that God will raise up the men of His choosing. The future of the church depends on it.

An anonymous poet captured the process God uses to build His leaders in the following words: