Principles of  New Life (4:25-32)

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Therefore, laying aside falsehood, speak truth, each one of you, with his neighbor, for we are members of one another. Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity. Let him who steals steal no longer; but rather let him labor, performing with his own hands what is good, in order that he may have something to share with him who has need. Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. (4:25-32)

The only reliable evidence of a person’s being saved is not a past experience of receiving Christ but a present life that reflects Christ. “The one who says, ‘I have come to know Him’ and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him” (1 John 2:4). New creatures act like new creatures. God is not progressively making new creations out of believers; believers are those whom He has already made new creations. “If any man is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come” (2 Cor. 5:17). This is Paul’s primary concern in Romans 6, where he carefully describes the believer’s “newness of life” (v. 4; cf. 7:6).

Paul has just demonstrated (vv. 17-24) that believers know salvation to be laying aside “the old self” and putting on “the new self” (Eph. 4:22, 24). Christians are not robots who simply react automatically to divine impulses. Although God sovereignly makes us new creatures, He also commands us in the strength of the Spirit to subdue our unredeemed humanness (1 Cor. 9:27), which still resides in us, and to live as new creatures in submission to Christ our new Master. The paradox of the Christian life is that both God’s sovereignty and man’s will are at work. The faithful believer responds positively to God’s sovereign declarations and commands.

After showing what believers are and have positionally in Christ (chaps. 1-3), Paul first gives general basic instruction for the practicality of living the new life (4:1-24) and then continues throughout the rest of the letter to give specific commands for the conduct of that life. In 4:25-32 he gives commands reflecting several contrasts between the old life and the new. Based on their newness of life, believers are to change from lying to speaking the truth, from unrighteous anger to righteous anger, from stealing to sharing, from unwholesome words to edifying words, and from natural vices to supernatural virtues.

FROM LYING TO SPEAKING THE TRUTH

Therefore, laying aside falsehood, speak truth, each one of you, with his neighbor, for we are members of one another. (4:25)

This second therefore of the chapter (see v. 17) provides an anticipated response to the general description of the new life in Christ described in verses 20-24 and introduces the first specific command for the new walk.

Liars will not inherit the kingdom of God. “For the cowardly and unbelieving and abominable and murderers and immoral persons and sorcerers and idolaters and all liars, their part will be in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death” (Rev. 21:8; cf. 1 Cor. 6:9). A believer can fall into lying just as he can fall into any sin, but if his life is a habitual flow of lies that proceed from a heart that seeks to deceive, he has no biblical basis for believing he is a Christian. The person who continually lies as a regular part of his daily living shows himself to be a child of Satan not of God (John 8:44). Satan lies about God, Christ, life, death, heaven, hell, Scripture, good, evil, and everything else. Every religious system apart from Christianity is built around various deceptions of Satan. Even the few and limited truths that may be found in human religions are scheming parts of a greater network that seeks to deceive.

Ever since the Fall, lying has been a common characteristic of unregenerate mankind. Our society today is so dependent on lying that if it suddenly turned to telling the truth our way of life would collapse. If world leaders began speaking only the truth, World War III would certainly ensue. So many lies are piled on other lies, and so many organizations, businesses, economies, social orders, governments, and treaties are built on those lies that the world system would disintegrate if lying suddenly ceased. Resentment and animosity would know no bounds, and the confusion would be unimaginable.

Lying includes more than simply telling direct falsehoods. It also includes exaggeration, adding falsehood to that which begins as true. Some years ago a Christian man became widely known for his powerful and moving testimony. But after several years he stopped. When asked why, he replied with some degree of integrity, “Over the years I embellished the story so much that I no longer knew what was true and what was not.”

Cheating in school and on income tax returns is a form of lying. Making foolish promises, betraying a confidence, flattery, and making excuses are all forms of lying.

The Christian should have no part of any kind of lying. He is to be characterized by laying aside falsehood, because falsehood is incompatible with his new nature and unacceptable to his new Lord. Apotithēmi, from which laying aside is derived, has to do with discarding, stripping off, casting away, and the like. It is the word Luke used of the Jewish leaders in Jerusalem who, as they were stoning Stephen, “laid aside their robes at the feet of a young man named Saul” (Acts 7:58). They laid aside their outer garments so they could more freely do their wicked work. The Christian lays aside falsehood so he can be free to do the righteous work of the Lord.

Quoting Zechariah 8:16, Paul goes from the negative prohibition on to the positive command, speak truth, each one of you, with his neighbor. Christ is Himself “the way, and the truth, and the life” (John 14:6); the Holy Spirit is “the Spirit of truth” (v. 17); and God’s Word is truth (17:17). When a person becomes a believer he steps out of the domain of falsehood into the domain of truth, and every form of lying therefore is utterly inconsistent with his new self.

It should be said that telling the truth does not require telling everything we know. Truthfulness is not in conflict with keeping a confidence or other legitimate secrets. Everything we say should be unqualifiedly true, and to purposely withhold information in order to deceive and mislead is a form of lying. But truthfulness does not demand our telling everything we know with no regard for its impact. Nor does it demand that we unburden all our ill feelings, doubts, and hatreds on those whom we dislike—in the kind of pseudo-honesty promoted by Freudian psychology and other such philosophies. Our concern as Christians should be for God to deal with our wrong feelings and remove them, not to wantonly express them in some inept attempt at self-justification or in the misguided expectation that simply expressing them will somehow make them go away or will mend relationships they have caused to be broken. To readily admit as Paul did that we are not perfect or free of sin (Rom. 7:15-25; Phil. 4:12-14; etc.) is one thing; to broadcast detailed accounts of our sin is quite another.

God’s economy is based on truth, and His people—either as individual believers or as the corporate church—cannot be fit instruments for His work unless they live in truthfulness. We are to speak truth, each one of [us], with his neighbor, for we are members of one another. The word neighbor is defined by the phrase members of one another and means fellow Christians. We are to speak truth to everyone and in every situation, but we have a special motive to be truthful with other believers, because we are fellow members of Christ’s Body, the church, and therefore members of one another.

Our physical bodies cannot not function properly or safely if each member does not correctly communicate to the others. If our brain were suddenly to start giving false signals to our feet, we would stumble or walk in front of a moving truck instead of stopping on the curb. If it falsely reported hot and cold, we could freeze to death because we felt too warm or be scalded in a hot shower while feeling chilly. If our eyes decided to send false signals to the brain, a dangerous curve in the highway might appear straight and safe, and we would crash. If the nerves in our hands and feet failed to tell our brain that injury was occurring, our foot could be mangled or our fingers burned without our knowing it. That is precisely the great danger of leprosy—injuries, disease, and other afflictions devastate the body because nerves fail to send danger signals of pain.

The church cannot function properly if its members shade the truth with one another or fail to work together honestly and lovingly. We cannot effectively minister to each other or with each other if we do not speak “the truth in love” (Eph. 4:15), especially among our fellow believers.

FROM UNRIGHTEOUS ANGER TO RIGHTEOUS ANGER

Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity. (4:26-27)

Parorgismos (anger) is not momentary outward, boiling-over rage or inward, seething resentment, but rather a deep-seated, determined and settled conviction. As seen in this passage, its New Testament use can represent an emotion good or bad, depending on motive and purpose.

Paul’s command is to be angry (from orgizē), with the qualification and yet do not sin. In this statement he may be legitimatizing righteous indignation, anger at evil, at that which is done against the Person of the Lord and against His will and purpose. It is the anger of the Lord’s people who hate evil (Ps. 69:9). It is the anger that abhors injustice, immorality, and ungodliness of every sort. It is the anger of which the great English preacher F. W Robertson wrote in one of his letters. When he once met a certain man who was trying to lure a young girl into prostitution, he became so angry that he bit his lip until it bled.

Jesus expressed righteous anger at the hard-heartedness of the Pharisees who resented His healing the man with the withered hand on the Sabbath (Mark 3:5). Although the word itself is not used in the gospel accounts of the events, it was no doubt that kind of anger that caused Jesus to drive the moneychangers out of the Temple (Matt. 21:12; John 2:15). Jesus was always angered when the Father was maligned or when others were mistreated, but He was never selfishly angry at what was done against Him. That is the measure of righteous anger.

Anger that is sin, on the other hand, is anger that is self-defensive and self-serving, that is resentful of what is done against oneself. It is the anger that leads to murder and to God’s judgment (Matt. 5:21-22).

Anger that is selfish, undisciplined, and vindictive is sinful and has no place even temporarily in the Christian life. But anger that is unselfish and is based on love for God and concern for others not only is permissible but commanded. Genuine love cannot help being angered at that which injures the object of that love.

But even righteous anger can easily turn to bitterness, resentment, and self-righteousness. Consequently, Paul goes on to say, do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity. Even the best motivated anger can sour, and we are therefore to put it aside at the end of the day. Taken to bed, it is likely to give the devil an opportunity to use it for his purposes. If anger is prolonged, one may begin to seek vengeance and thereby violate the principle taught in Romans 12:17-21,

It may also be that verses 26b-27 refer entirely to this unrighteous anger, in which case Paul uses the imperative in the sense of saying that, because anger may come in a moment and overtake a believer, and because it has such a strong tendency to grow and fester, it should be dealt with immediately—confessed, forsaken, and given to God for cleansing before we end the day.

In any case of anger, whether legitimate or not, if it is courted, “advantage [will] be taken of us by Satan” (2 Cor. 2:11), and he will feed our anger with self-pity, pride, self-righteousness, vengeance, defense of our rights, and every other sort of selfish sin and violation of God’s holy will.

FROM STEALING TO SHARING

Let him who steals steal no longer; but rather let him labor, performing with his own hands what is good, in order that he may have something to share with him who has need. (4:28)

The third command Paul sets forth demands a change from stealing to sharing. No one is completely free from the temptation to steal. Many children go through a phase of thinking it is fun to steal, sometimes simply for the sake of stealing. There is a certain fleshly attraction in taking that which does not belong to us and trying to get by with it. The old self had a built-in inclination to steal, and that is one of the many characteristics of the old self that “the new self, which [is] in the likeness of God” (v. 24) puts away. The Christian is to steal [kleptō, from which comes kleptomaniac] no longer.

In the past several decades shoplifting has grown alarmingly, a large percentage of it being done by employees. In some large stores up to a third of the price of the merchandise is used to cover theft losses of various sorts. Intentional overestimating, falsified cost overruns, and outright embezzlement are rampant throughout business and industry. Padding expense accounts, reporting more hours than were worked, failing to report income to the IRS, and other such deceptions are accepted as normal by many people. To them, stealing is simply a game in which getting caught is the only cause for regret or shame.

Grand larceny, petty theft, taking some of your dad’s money off the dresser, reneging on a debt, not paying fair wages, or pocketing what a clerk overpays in change are all stealing. There is simply no end to ways we can steal, and whatever the ways are and whatever the chances for being caught, stealing is sin and has no part in the new walk of the new man in Christ.

The alternative to stealing is to labor… in order… to share with him who has need. It is God’s plan for everyone to work who is able to do so. “If anyone will not work, neither let him eat. For we hear that some among you are leading an undisciplined life, doing no work at all” (2 Thess. 3:10-11). The Christian who does not work and “provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, … has denied the faith, and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Tim. 5:8).

Our labor should be in what is good, in work that is honest, honorable, and productive. The term agathos (good) connotes that which is good in quality, and here refers to God-honoring employment. A Christian should never be involved in a job, profession, work, or business that demands compromise of God’s standards, that dishonors Him, violates His holy commands, or misleads or harms others in any way.

Performing with his own hands stresses the truth that the norm is for every person to be responsible for his own provision, and even more, to share with those who, in spite of hard work or because of devastation or incapacity, are in need.

Not only should our work harm no one, it should be for the specific purpose of helping them—to share with him who has need. A Christian’s desire to earn more should be for the purpose of being able to give more and help more. Beyond providing for his own and his family’s basic needs, he gains so he can give. Like the rest of his life, a Christian’s occupation—directly or indirectly—should above all else be a means of service to God and to others.

“When you give a reception,” Jesus said, “invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, since they do not have the means to repay you; for you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous” (Luke 14:13-14). As he visited them at Miletus on his way to Jerusalem, Paul’s last words to the Ephesian elders were: “I have coveted no one’s silver or gold or clothes. You yourselves know that these hands ministered to my own needs and to the men who were with me. In everything I showed you that by working hard in this manner you must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, that He Himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive’” (Acts 20:33-35).

FROM UNWHOLESOME WORDS TO WHOLESOME WORDS

Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. (4:29-30)

A fourth change in the Christian’s life should be from speaking unwholesome words to speaking wholesome ones. His speech should be transformed along with everything else.

Sapros (unwholesome) refers to that which is corrupt or foul and was used of rotten fruit, vegetables, and other spoiled food. Foul language should never proceed from the mouth of a Christian, because it is totally out of character with his newness of life. Unwholesome language should be as repulsive to us as a rotten apple or a spoiled piece of meat. Off-color jokes, profanity, dirty stories, vulgarity, double entendre, and every other form of corrupt talk should never cross our lips. “But now you also,” Paul wrote the Colossians, “put them all aside: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive speech from your mouth” (Col. 3:8; cf. Eph. 5:4).

The tongue is exceedingly difficult to control. It is “a fire,” James says, “the very world of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by hell. For every species of beasts and birds, of reptiles and creatures of the sea, is tamed, and has been tamed by the human race. But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison” Games 3:6-8).

How much it must have grieved Peter to remember that he not only denied his Lord but that he even denied him with cursing and swearing (Matt. 26:74). Perhaps that memory caused Peter to pray with David, “Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips” (Ps. 141:3). Only the Lord has sufficient power to control our lips and guard them from every unwholesome word. The tongue, of course, only speaks what the heart tells it to say. “The mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart,” Jesus said (Matt. 12:34; cf. Mark 7:14-23). A foul mouth comes from a foul heart, and the only way for the Lord to cleanse our tongue is through His Word, which fills the heart with “whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute,” and all that is excellent and “worthy of praise” (Phil. 4:8).

In addition to renouncing corrupt and harmful language we are to develop speech that is pure, helpful, and pleasing to God. Paul here mentions three specific characteristics of wholesome speaking: it is edifying, appropriate, and gracious.

First, the words of a Christian are to be good for edification. Our speech should build up by being helpful, constructive, encouraging, instructive, and uplifting. Sometimes, of course, it must be corrective; but that, too, is edifying when done in the right spirit. Proverbs 25:12 admonishes: “Like an earring of gold and an ornament of fine gold is a wise reprover to a listening ear.” The preacher of Ecclesiastes “sought to find delightful words and to write words of truth correctly,” and such words spoken by a wise man “are like goads … and well-driven nails” (Eccles. 12:10-11).

Second, everything we say should be appropriate, according to the need of the moment. It is not that every word we speak is to be freighted with great significance, but that what we say should always be fitting for the situation, so that it constructively contributes to all. Obviously, we should never unnecessarily mention things that might harm, discourage, or disappoint someone else. Some things—though they may be absolutely true and perfectly wholesome—are better left unsaid. Everyone admires the wisdom and virtue of those who speak less often but usually say something of benefit. Proverbs 25:11 teaches: “Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken in right circumstances.” Proverbs 15:23 affirms that “a man has joy in an apt answer, and how delightful is a timely word!” In fact, “He kisses the lips who gives a right answer” (Prov. 24:26).

Third, what we say should be gracious, that it may give grace to those who hear. As Paul has already said, the mature Christian not only speaks the truth but speaks it in love (v. 15). Raw truth is seldom appropriate and is often destructive. We have been saved in grace and we are kept in grace; therefore we are to live and speak in grace. Just as grace supremely characterizes God it should also characterize His children.

Graciousness always characterized Jesus. Isaiah said of the loveliness of the speech of Christ: “The Lord God has given Me the tongue of disciples, that I may know how to sustain the weary one with a word” (Isa. 50:4). On one occasion Luke records the effect of the Savior’s words: “And all were speaking well of Him, and wondering at the gracious words which were falling from His lips” (Luke 4:22). A few moments later, the ones who spoke those words became enraged, took Jesus to the edge of the city, and would have thrown Him over the cliff to His death had He not disappeared from their midst (w. 28-30). But Jesus had not become ungracious. Had the people admitted the truth He reminded them of about the spiritual rebelliousness of Israel, confessed that they themselves were guilty of the same sin, and accepted the fact of God’s offering His grace to Gentiles, they would indeed have been edified and built up. Even telling men of their sin is a gracious thing to do, if it is done for the right purpose and in the right spirit, because until a person faces up to and repents of his sin he cannot experience the grace of salvation.

“Let your speech always be with grace,” Paul told the Colossians, “seasoned, as it were, with salt” (Col. 4:6). Salt is a preservative and helps retard spoilage. The gracious words of Christians help retard the moral and spiritual spoilage in the world around them. They also provide strength and comfort to those in need. Our graciousness reflects the grace of Christ, who uses our graciousness to draw others to His grace.

A powerful motivation for putting off unwholesome talk is that not to do so will grieve the Holy Spirit of God. All sin is painful to God, but sin in His children breaks His heart. When His children refuse to change the ways of the old life for the ways of the new, God grieves. The Holy Spirit of God weeps, as it were, when he sees Christians lying instead of speaking the truth, becoming unrighteously rather than righteously angry, stealing instead of sharing, and speaking corrupt instead of uplifting and gracious words.

Whatever violates the will of God and the holiness of the heart will grieve the third Person of the Trinity. Grieving can lead to quenching (1 Thess. 5:19) and to a forfeiture of power and blessing. It should be noted also that such responses by the Holy Spirit indicate His personhood, which is seen in the use of personal pronouns referring to Him (cf. John 14:17; 16:13; etc.). His identity as Comforter, or Helper (John 14:16, 26; 15:26; 16:7), indicates that He is like Christ, who is a person. The Holy Spirit has intellect (1 Cor. 2:11), feelings (Rom. 8:27; 15:30), and will (1 Cor. 12:11). He works (1 Cor. 12:11), searches (1 Cor. 2:10), speaks (Acts 13:2), testifies (John 15:26), teaches (John 14:26), convicts (John 16:8-11), regenerates (John 3:5), intercedes (Acts 8:26), guides (John 16:13), glorifies Christ (John 16:14), and directs service to God (Acts 16:6-7).

Specifically in light of this text in Ephesians, the personhood of the Holy Spirit is seen in the fact that He can be treated as a person. He can be tested (Acts 5:9), lied to (Acts 5:3), resisted (Acts 7:51), insulted (Heb. 10:29), and blasphemed (Matt. 12:31-32).

Paul asks, in effect, “How can we do that which is so displeasing to the One by whom [we] have been sealed for the day of redemption?” (see 1:13-14). The Holy Spirit is God’s personal mark of authenticity on us, His stamp of divine approval. How can we grieve the One who is our Helper, Comforter, Teacher, Advocate, Divine Resident of our hearts, and guarantor of our eternal redemption? How can we ungraciously grieve God’s infinitely gracious Holy Spirit? He has done so much for us that, out of gratitude, we ought not to grieve Him.

The command not to show ingratitude to the Divine Spirit is based on the fact that He has secured our salvation. Paul is not saying we should avoid sin in order to keep our salvation, but rather that we should be eternally grateful to the Holy Spirit for His making it impossible for us to lose it.

FROM NATURAL VICES TO SUPERNATURAL VIRTUES

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. (4:31-32)

The final change Paul mentions is from natural vices to supernatural virtues and amounts to a summary of the other changes.

Man’s natural tendency is to sin, and the natural tendency of sin is to grow into greater sin. And a Christian’s sin will grow just like that of an unbeliever. If not checked, our inner sins of bitterness and wrath and anger will inevitably lead to the outward sins of clamor, slander, and other such manifestations of malice.

Bitterness (pikria) reflects a smoldering resentment, a brooding grudge-filled attitude (see Acts 8:23; Heb. 12:15). It is the spirit of irritability that keeps a person in perpetual animosity, making him sour and venemous. Wrath (thumos) has to do with wild rage, the passion of the moment. Anger (orgē) is a more internal smoldering, a subtle and deep feeling. Clamor (kraugē) is the shout or outcry of strife and reflects the public outburst that reveals loss of control. Slander (blasphēmia, from which we get blasphemy) is the ongoing defamation of someone that rises from a bitter heart. Paul then adds malice (kakia), the general term for evil that is the root of all vices. All of these, he says, must be put away from you.

These particular sins involve conflict between person and person—believer and unbeliever and, worse still, between believer and believer. These are the sins that break fellowship and destroy relationships, that weaken the church and mar its testimony before the world. When an unbeliever sees Christians acting just like the rest of society, the church is blemished in his eyes and he is confirmed still further in resisting the claims of the gospel.

In place of those vices we are rather to be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven us. These are graces God has shown to us and they are the gracious virtues we are to show to others. God did not love us, choose us, and redeem us because we were deserving, but purely because He is gracious. “God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. … While we were enemies, we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son” (Rom. 5:8, 10). If God is so gracious to us, how much more, then, should we be kind,… tender-hearted, and forgiving to fellow sinners, especially to one another.

Being unconditionally kind characterizes the Lord, as Luke 6:35b shows: “For He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men.” Paul speaks of “the riches of His kindness … that leads you to repentance” (Rom. 2:4). We are to be like our heavenly Father, says Christ, and are to “love [our] enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and [our] reward will be great, and [we] will be sons of the Most High” (Luke 6:35a).

Tender-hearted has the idea of being compassionate, and reflects a feeling deep in the bowels, or stomach, a gnawing psychosomatic pain due to empathy for someone’s need. Forgiving each other is so basic to reflecting Christlike character that it needs little comment. The most graphic illustration of forgiveness is in the parable of Matthew 18:21-35. When Peter asked about the limits of forgiveness, the Lord told him a story of a man with an unpayable debt who was forgiven by his creditor, the king. This was a picture of salvation—God forgiving a sinner the unpayable debt of unrighteous rebellion against Him.

The forgiven man then went to someone who owed him a small amount and had him imprisoned for nonpayment. He who eagerly accepted a massive, comprehensive forgiveness would not forgive a small, easily-payable debt of another person. The incongruity of his action shows the heinousness of a believer’s unforgiving heart, and the man was severely chastened by the Lord for his wicked attitude.

Paul has this same relationship in mind as he calls for believers to forgive just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Can we who have been forgiven so much not forgive the relatively small things done against us? We, of all people, should always be eager to forgive.

The parallel text to this passage, found in Colossians 3:1-17, forms a fitting summation to Paul’s teaching here.