38 Christian Behavior: In Relation to Ourselves (13:4-9)
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge. Let your character be free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, “I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you,” so that we confidently say, “The LORD is my helper, I will not be afraid. What shall man do to me?” Remember those who led you, who spoke the word of God to you; and considering the result of their conduct, imitate their faith. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today, yes and forever. Do not be carried away by varied and strange teachings; for it is good for the heart to be strengthened by grace, not by foods, through which those who were thus occupied were not benefited. (13:4-9)
The second major area of ethics dealt with in chapter 13 has to do with our responsibility to ourselves, and focuses on sexual purity, satisfaction with what we have, and steadfastness in the faith.
SEXUAL PURITY
MARRIAGE IS TO BE HONORED
In God’s eyes, marriage is honorable. He established it at creation and has honored it ever since. In much of the world today, of course, marriage is anything but honored. A great many couples who marry do so as a temporary convenience, not as a social, much less a divine, requirement for their living together.
Let marriage be held in honor among all may have been a reaction to certain ascetic influences in the early church that held celibacy to be a holier state than marriage. Some men, such as the famous Origen of the third century, had themselves castrated, under the mistaken notion that they could thereby serve God more devotedly. Paul warns that in the last days apostate teachers will “forbid marriage” (1 Tim. 4:3). But God holds marriage not only to be permissible, but honorable, and we are to have the same high regard for it.
God honored marriage by establishing it. Jesus honored marriage by performing His first miracle at a wedding. The Holy Spirit honored marriage by using it to picture the church in the New Testament. The whole Trinity testifies that marriage is honorable. No person, therefore, is justified in disparaging marriage.
Scripture gives at least three reasons for marriage. One is the propagation of children. At creation, mankind was commissioned to “be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth” (Gen. 1:28). Marriage is also provided as a means of preventing sexual sin. “Because of immoralities, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband” (1 Cor. 7:2), Paul advises, and then goes on to counsel the unmarried and widows to marry if they do not have self-control (vv. 8-9). Marriage is also provided for companionship. “God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him’ ” (Gen. 2:18).
Marriage can be held in honor in many ways. One is by the husband’s being the head. God is glorified in a family where the husband rules. “Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman” (1 Cor. 11:3). “The husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church” (Eph. 5:23). Another way is a corollary of the first, namely, that wives be submissive to their husbands, as Sarah was to Abraham (1 Pet. 3:1, 6). A third way marriage is honored is by being regulated by mutual love and respect. “You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered” (v. 7). The concern of both husband and wife should center on the welfare and happiness of the other, on what can be given rather than on what can be obtained.
THE MARRIAGE BED IS TO BE UNDEFILED
God is serious about sexual purity. Men and women may play around with illicit sex and be perfectly within their rights in the eyes of most people. But in the eyes of God, it is always sin and will always be judged. Paul warns, “Let no one deceive you with empty words, for be-cause of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience” (Eph. 5:6). The apostle also tells us to “flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body” (1 Cor. 6:18). “Immorality” (porneia, “fornication”) is from the same basic Greek term as fornicators (pornos). In other words, the same sexual sin is involved in the two passages. Sexual sin not only is against God and other persons, it is also against ourselves. Part of our moral responsibility to ourselves is to be sexually pure.
The world today is obsessed with sex as never before. Sexual activity apart from marriage is considered acceptable and normal by more and more people. The publisher of a leading pornographic magazine maintains that “Sex is a function of the body, a drive which man shares with animals, like eating, drinking and sleeping. It’s a physical demand that must be satisfied. If you don’t satisfy it, you will have all sorts of neuroses and repressive psychoses. Sex is here to stay; let’s forget the prudery that makes us hide from it. Throw away those inhibitions, find a girl who’s like-minded and let yourself go.”
Some of the more obvious results of such views are the heartbreaking increases in extramarital pregnancies, forcible rapes, illegitimate births (despite birth control measures and abortions), and in venereal diseases of all sorts. Billy Graham has commented that writings coming out of contemporary authors are “like the drippings of a broken sewer.” Judgment already exists in the broken homes, the venereal disease, the psychological and physical breakdowns, and the murder and other violence that is generated when passion is uncontrolled. It is not possible to live and act against the moral grain of the universe established by God and not suffer terrible consequences.
When Christians are immoral, the immediate consequences may even be worse, because the testimony of the gospel is polluted. I will never forget a young coed who came to my office, obviously shaken. She said she was a new Christian and that soon after her conversion she started attending a church youth group. The president of the group asked her for a date, and she was flattered and thrilled to be going out with a Christian. “How different it will be from what I’m used to,” she thought. But before the night was over, he had destroyed her purity, shattered her faith, and ruined his own testimony. The last I heard from the girl her life was still a shambles.
Within marriage, sex is beautiful, fulfilling, creative. Outside marriage, it is ugly, destructive, and damning. “But do not let immorality or any impurity or greed even be named among you, as is proper among saints” (Eph. 5:3).
SATISFACTION WITH WHAT WE HAVE
Let your character be free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, “I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you,” so that we confidently say, “The LORD is my helper, I will not be afraid. What shall man do to me?” (13:5-6)
C. H. Spurgeon said, “I’ve been in a lot of testimony meetings, and I’ve heard a lot of people share how they’ve sinned, and I’ve had people come to me and make confession of sin. But in all my life I’ve never had one person confess the sin of covetousness to me.” I have rarely had anyone confess covetousness to me, either.
A man once came into my office asking to confess a sin. He was obviously serious and quite broken up. He said his sin was gluttony. When I remarked that he did not look overweight, he replied, “I know. It is not that I eat too much but that I want to. I continually crave food. It’s an obsession.”
Covetousness is much like this man’s gluttony. You do not have to acquire a lot of things to be covetous. In fact you do not have to acquire anything at all. Covetousness is an attitude; it is wanting to acquire things, longing for them, setting our thoughts and attention on them—whether we ever possess them or not.
When John D. Rockefeller was a young man, a friend reportedly asked him how much money he wanted. “A million dollars,” he replied. After he had earned a million dollars, the friend asked him again how much money he wanted. The answer this time was, “Another million.” Covetousness and greed follow a principle of increasing desire and decreasing satisfaction, a form of the law of diminishing returns. “He who loves money will not be satisfied with money, nor he who loves abundance with its income. This too is vanity” (Eccles. 5:10). The more you get the more you want. When we focus on material things, our having will never catch up with our wanting. It is one of God’s unbreakable laws.
Love of money is one of the most common forms of covetousness, partly because money can be used to secure so many other things that we want. Loving money is lusting after material riches, whatever the form is. A Christian should be free from such love of material things. Love of money is sin against God, a form of distrust. For He Himself has said, “I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you.” Among other things, loving money is trusting in uncertain riches rather than the living God (1 Tim. 6:17), looking for security in material things instead of in our heavenly Father. “Beware, and be on your guard against every form of greed,” Jesus warned, “for not even when one has an abundance does his life consist of his possessions” (Luke 12:15).
Achan’s love of money cost Israel a defeat at Ai, the lives of at least thirty-six of his fellow countrymen, his own life, and the lives of his family and flocks (Josh. 7:1, 5, 25). After Naaman was cleansed of leprosy, following Elisha’s instruction to wash seven times in the Jordan, the prophet refused any payment. But Gehazi, Elisha’s servant, later ran back to Naaman and deceived him in order to profit from the grateful captain. After lying again, he was cursed by Elisha with Naaman’s leprosy (2 Kings 5:15-27). His greed led to lying, deceit, and leprosy. Judas was greedy as well as traitorous, willing to betray the Son of God for thirty pieces of silver. Ananias and Sapphira paid for their greed and attempted deceit with their lives (Acts 5:1-10). Greed is not a trifling sin before God. It has kept many unbelievers out of the kingdom, and it has caused many believers to lose the joy of the kingdom, or worse.
It is not wrong, of course, to earn or to have wealth. Abraham and Job were extremely wealthy. The New Testament mentions a number of faithful believers who had considerable wealth. It is love of money that “is a root of all sorts of evil, and some by longing for it have wandered away from the faith, and pierced themselves with many a pang” (1 Tim. 6:10). It is longing after it and trusting in it that is sinful. “If riches increase, do not set your heart upon them,” David counsels (Ps. 62:10). Job puts the principle clearly: “If I have put my confidence in gold, and called fine gold my trust, if I have gloated because my wealth was great, and because my hand had secured so much;… That too would have been an iniquity calling for judgment, for I would have denied God above” (Job 31:24-25, 28). Trust in money is distrust in God.
Some persons love money but never acquire it. Other persons’ love of money is in acquiring it. They live for the thrill of adding to their bank accounts, stock holdings, or conglomerates. For others, loving money is hoarding it. Misers are not so much interested in increasing their possessions as in simply holding on to them. They love money for its own sake. Still others are more interested in the things they can buy and display with their wealth. The conspicuous consumer is the big spender who flaunts his wealth. Whatever form love of money may take, the spiritual result is the same. It displeases God and separates us from Him. Nicer clothes, a bigger house, another car, a better vacation tempt all of us. But God tells us to be satisfied. Be content with what you have.
Many of those addressed in the book of Hebrews had lost most, or all, of their material possessions, because they knew they had “a better possession and an abiding one” (10:34). Some of them might have been longing to get back what they lost, thinking the cost was too high. They are told not to return to trust in material things. We confidently say, “The LORD is my helper, I will not be afraid. What shall man do to me?” If we have the Lord, we have it all. Loss of anything else can be no worse than a bad inconvenience, an inconvenience that, surrendered to the Lord, will always be for our good. Material possessions are temporary, anyway. We are going to lose them sooner or later. If the Lord decides we should lose them sooner, we should not worry. Proverbs 23:5 says “wealth certainly makes itself wings.”
Among the scriptural requirements for overseers, or bishops (also referred to as elders, Titus 1:5-7), is that of being “free from the love of money” (1 Tim. 3:3). No Christian can live effectively, much less lead effectively, who is longing after money. Love of money weakens our faith, weakens our testimony, and weakens our leadership. When we love money, our eye is on the wrong kind of gain. “Godliness actually is a means of great gain, when accompanied by contentment. For we have brought nothing into the world, so we cannot take anything out of it either. And if we have food and covering, with these we shall be content” (1 Tim. 6:6-8). Discontentment is one of man’s greatest sins. Contentment is one of God’s greatest blessings.
How do we enjoy contentment? How do we become satisfied with what we have? First, we must realize God’s goodness. If we really believe that God is good, we know He will take care of us, His children. We know with Paul that “God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose” (Rom. 8:28).
Second, we should realize—not just acknowledge, but truly realize—that God is omniscient. He knows what we need long before we have a need or ask Him to meet it. Jesus assures us, “Your Father knows that you need these things” (Luke 12:30).
Third, we should think about what we deserve. What we want, or even need, is one thing; what we deserve is another. We should confess with Jacob, “I am unworthy of all the lovingkindness and of all the faithfulness which Thou hast shown to Thy servant” (Gen. 32:10). The smallest good thing we have is more than we deserve. The least-blessed of God’s saints are rich (see Matt. 19:27-29).
Fourth, we should recognize God’s supremacy, his sovereignty. God does not have the same plan for all of His children. What He lovingly gives to one, He just as lovingly may withhold from another. The Holy Spirit gives varieties of gifts, ministries, and effects, “But one and the same Spirit works all these things, distributing to each one individually just as He wills” (1 Cor. 12:4-11). In regard to material blessings, we should listen to Hannah’s wisdom, “The LORD makes poor and rich” (1 Sam. 2:7). If He were to make us rich, we might be of outstanding service to Him. On the other hand, our becoming rich might be our spiritual undoing. The Lord knows what we need, and will provide us with no less.
Fifth, we should continually remind ourselves what true riches are. It is the worldly, including the wealthy worldly, who are poor, and it is believers, including poor ones, who are rich. Our treasure is in our homeland, in heaven, and we should set our minds “on the things above, not on the things that are on earth” (Col. 3:2).
Supremely, however, contentment comes from communion with God. The more we focus on Him the less we will be concerned about anything material. When you are near Jesus Christ, you are overwhelmed with the riches that you have in Him, and earthly possessions simply will not matter. Contentment is having confidence that the LORD is my helper, I will not be afraid. What shall man do to me?
STEADFASTNESS IN THE FAITH
Remember those who led you, who spoke the word of God to you; and considering the result of their conduct, imitate their faith. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today, yes and forever. Do not be carried away by varied and strange teachings; for it is good for the heart to be strengthened by grace, not by foods, through which those who were thus occupied were not benefited. (13:7-9)
I believe the primary appeal of this passage is for Jews who had heard and professed the gospel not to return to legalism. The New Covenant in Jesus Christ has standards, very high standards, but they do not involve ceremonies, rituals, holy days, and formalities. They are internal, not external.
Just as those who led {us} who spoke the word of God, and just as Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today, so we should be in our doctrine and practices. We are not to be carried away by varied and strange teachings. One of Satan’s most subtle approaches to the Christian is to move him away from sound doctrine, to get him wrapped up in beliefs that are unfounded, uncertain, and changing. Bad doctrine results in bad living.
PURITY OF DOCTRINE
One of the saddest things in the world is for a Christian to get drawn into false doctrine and be rendered ineffective, to lose his joy, reward, and testimony. Yet such has been happening since the earliest days of the church. Paul was amazed that some of the Galatian believers were “so quickly deserting Him who called you by the grace of Christ, for a different gospel; which is really not another; only there are some who are disturbing you, and want to distort the gospel of Christ” (Gal. 1:6-7).
Sometimes false teachers are kind, likable, and perhaps even sincere. It is often difficult to believe they would teach anything false or misleading. But we are to judge doctrine by God’s Word, not by the appearance or personality of the person who holds it. “Even though we, or an angel from heaven, should preach to you a gospel contrary to that which we have preached to you, let him be accursed” (v. 8). In other words, even if Paul changed his teaching from the revealed truths he had been preaching, he should not be followed. Even an angel is not to be believed above God’s Word. The point is so important that Paul repeats it in the next verse: “As we have said before, so I say again now, if any man is preaching to you a gospel contrary to that which you received, let him be accursed.”
These Galatians had started out in grace but were falling back under the law. They had begun in the Spirit, but were now trying to continue in the flesh. The Jews being addressed in Hebrews 13 were in danger of doing the same thing. The varied and strange teachings were not necessarily new teachings. They are not named, but it is likely that many, if not most, of the teachings were traditional Jewish beliefs. But they were strange to the gospel of grace.
Paul also warned the Ephesian elders of this danger. “I know that after my departure savage wolves will come in among you, not sparing the flock; and from among your own selves men will arise, speaking perverse things, to draw away the disciples after them” (Acts 20:29-30). The apostle commended them to God’s Word, the only resource they had for staying true to the faith (v. 32). The closing appeal of the book of Romans is, “Now I urge you, brethren, keep your eye on those who cause dissensions and hindrances contrary to the teaching which you learned, and turn away from them” (Rom. 16:17).
The worst false teachers are those who go under the guise of orthodoxy. An avowed liberal, cultist, or atheist is easily seen for what he is. Satan’s best workers are the deceptive ones, who know they will get a better hearing from God’s people if their heresy is coated with biblical ideas. “For such men are false apostles, deceitful workers, disguising themselves as apostles of Christ. And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light” (2 Cor. 11:13-14). Satan’s primary target is the church. He does not need to pervert the world, because it is already perverted, already in his camp. This is why the New Testament is so filled with warnings for Christians to beware of false teaching. Satan does wish to destroy the power of the truth in the church.
God knows that the greatest battle His church faces is purity of doctrine, because that is the basis of everything else. Every bad practice, every bad act, every bad standard of conduct, can be traced to bad belief. The end result of the work of apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, and teachers, and of believers becoming unified in the faith and maturing in Christ, is that “we are no longer to be children, tossed here and there by waves, and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, by craftiness in deceitful scheming” (Eph. 4:14). A church that is not sound in doctrine is unstable and vulnerable.
One of the marks of small children is lack of discernment. They have no way of telling what is good or bad for themselves. They judge only by feeling and whim. If something looks attractive, they may try to pick it up, even if it were a poisonous snake. If something looks remotely like food, they try to eat it. A child of three left to select his own diet would never live to four. He would either sweeten or poison himself to death.
Some Christians, unfortunately, show little more discernment than this in the spiritual realm. They have been so little exposed to sound doctrine, or so long removed from it, that they judge entirely by appearance and feeling. Consequently, the church is filled with babes, who swallow almost any teaching that is put before them, as long as it is not blatant heresy and the teacher claims to be evangelical. As a body, and as individual Christians, we cannot be steadfast in Christ unless we are “constantly nourished on the words of the faith and of the sound doctrine” (1 Tim. 4:6). As long as believers are immature, false doctrine is a major danger (cf. Eph. 4:11-16).
REJECTION OF LEGALISM
Jews were used to having religious regulations for everything, and it was hard for them to adjust to freedom in Christ. It was difficult for them to accept the truth Paul expresses in 1 Corinthians 8:8, that “food will not commend us to God; we are neither the worse if we do not eat, nor the better if we do eat.” All their lives they had been taught and had believed that what you ate and did not eat was extremely important to God. Even how it was prepared and eaten was important. Now they are told that those who were thus occupied were not benefited. Spirituality comes not by foods.
Being spiritually concerned about food is unnecessary under the New Testament. In fact, insisting on dietary regulations for religious reasons is against the gospel. Paul uses the harshest possible words to describe those who propagate such ideas.
But the Spirit explicitly says that in later times some will fall away from the faith, paying attention to deceitful spirits and doctrines of demons, by means of the hypocrisy of liars seared in their own conscience as with a branding iron, men who forbid marriage and advocate abstaining from foods, which God has created to be gratefully shared in by those who believe and know the truth. For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected, if it is received with gratitude; for it is sanctified by means of the word of God and prayer. (1 Tim. 4:1-5)
God had a hard time convincing Peter that the dietary and ceremonial restrictions of Judaism were no longer valid. Peter even argued with God when He commanded him in a vision to kill and eat a variety of unclean animals. The Lord had to tell him three times, “What God has cleansed, no longer consider unholy” (Acts 10:15). Christ has rendered all external observances invalid and useless. “For the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit” (Rom. 14:17). The Colossians were exhorted: “let no one act as your judge in regard to food” (2:16). As Christians, our hearts are only strengthened by grace.