But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children. Having so fond an affection for you, we were well-pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God but also our own lives, because you had become very dear to us. For you recall, brethren, our labor and hardship, how working night and day so as not to be a burden to any of you, we proclaimed to you the gospel of God. You are witnesses, and so is God, how devoutly and uprightly and blamelessly we behaved toward you believers; just as you know how we were exhorting and encouraging and imploring each one of you as a father would his own children, so that you would walk in a manner worthy of the God who calls you into His own kingdom and glory. (2:7–12)

Scripture offers much guidance, by example and direct instruction, on the subject of spiritual leadership. From the very beginning of creation, God established leadership in human relationships. In the marriage relationship between Adam and Eve, God designed Adam to be the leader (Gen. 2:18). Ever since then, He has commanded the husband and father to be the leader of the family (1 Cor. 11:3, 8–9; Eph. 5:22; Col. 3:18; 1 Tim. 2:12–14).

On the national level, God used the patriarchs, priests, judges, kings, prophets, and military leaders through Old Testament times to lead His people. The Holy Spirit forthrightly discloses from Genesis to Malachi the blessings and cursings of good and bad leadership.

In the gospels the greatest leader of all, Jesus Christ, appears (cf. Heb. 2:10). Early in His ministry, He chose the twelve apostles (cf. Luke 6:12–13), an eternally preordained choice of ordinary men who would receive the Son of God’s unique leadership training. That preparation, along with their receiving the Holy Spirit (Acts 1:6–11; 2:1–4), enabled them to reproduce additional spiritual leaders, who in turn conveyed what they knew to other men in a discipling process that has continued throughout church history (cf. 2 Tim. 2:2). The church has always had the responsibility to identify and appoint biblically qualified men who lead and, at the same time, are capable of selecting and training the next generation of spiritual leaders (see 1 Tim. 3:1ff.; Titus 1:4ff.).

Effective spiritual leadership is a combination of character and activity. First Thessalonians 2:1–6 presented the exemplary leadership virtues of Paul’s inner life (and the lives of Silas and Timothy): tenacity, integrity, authority, accountability, and humility. In this subsequent passage, however, the apostle views the outward functions of the divinely approved spiritual leader. He could have presented these functions by discussing preaching, discipling, protecting, and overseeing. But as the New Testament writers often did for the sake of vividness and richness, the apostle used a metaphor. He could have chosen any one of several metaphors: a steward or household manager (1 Cor. 4:1–2); a bond-slave or servant (Col. 4:12); a herald or proclaimer of the message (1 Tim. 2:7 NIV); a teacher, soldier, athlete, farmer (2 Tim. 2:2–6); or the common image of a shepherd (1 Peter 5:1–4; cf. Ps. 23). All those metaphors are replete with significance and paint helpful pictures. However, Paul chose to use the most intimate, compelling metaphors of a mother and father, which illustrate the primary kinds of spiritual care a leader must provide his people.

Such metaphors are not limited to this epistle. In Galatians 4:19 he wrote, as if a mother calling believers, “My children, with whom I am again in labor until Christ is formed in you.” He pictured himself as a mother who first labored to give birth and then, as it were, labored longer to bring her children to spiritual maturity. In 1 Corinthians 4:15 he pictured himself as a spiritual father: “For if you were to have countless tutors in Christ, yet you would not have many fathers, for in Christ Jesus I became your father through the gospel.” He was the human source of their spiritual life as well as their teacher and protector. Paul’s use of these familial metaphors emphasizes the care and affection of shared life that he had with those he brought the gospel to.

THE SPIRITUAL LEADER AS MOTHER

But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children. Having so fond an affection for you, we were well-pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God but also our own lives, because you had become very dear to us. For you recall, brethren, our labor and hardship, how working night and day so as not to be a burden to any of you, we proclaimed to you the gospel of God. (2:7–9)

As mothers are absolutely and indisputably essential to the well-being of children, so spiritual leaders who minister with a mother’s gentleness, intimate affection, sacrificial love, and unselfish labor are essential for the health of the church.

GENTLENESS

But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children. (2:7)

Paul begins with the important adversative but, which again contrasts the conduct of his colleagues and him with the sinful behavior of the false teachers (vv. 2, 4). Paul reminded the Thessalonians that instead of operating by the deceitful abusiveness of Satan’s agents, they proved to be gentle among you.

The term gentle is at the heart of this verse. It means to be kind to someone and encompasses a host of other virtues: acceptance, respect, compassion, tolerance of imperfections, patience, tenderheartedness, and loyalty. Unlike many itinerant teachers, Paul and his preacher friends did not come to Thessalonica to exploit the people for their own prosperity but to live and serve among them with kindness. Paul explained his degree of gentleness toward the Thessalonians by comparing it to a nursing mother who tenderly cares for her own children, the imagery Moses had used for his relationship to Israel (Num. 11:12). As the phrase her own children indicates, Paul was no paid surrogate mother or modern-style, hired day care worker. The apostle exhibited the same feelings as a nursing mother when he cared for the Thessalonians’ spiritual needs. This picture is usually foreign to all leaders outside the true church of Jesus Christ. In fact, for most, it would appear to be sentimental, weak, and unproductive. The standard for worldly leadership is to accomplish the leader’s desires through people. In the church, pastors have the privilege of seeing things God desires done in people. That changes the dynamic. As good parents are concerned about their children’s hearts, so are good pastors. The preceding metaphors make that clear.

The verb rendered tenderly cares literally means to warm with body heat. The loving mother would take the little one in her arms and warm the child with her own body heat. Such a vivid metaphor perfectly illustrates the kind of personal care the Thessalonians received. Paul, unlike the enemies of the truth, was not harsh or indifferent, but tenderly nurturing.

INTIMATE AFFECTION

Having so fond an affection for you, (2:8a)

In extending the metaphor of a nursing mother, it was logical for Paul to mention the motive for such nurturing gentleness—love. He possessed fond affection for the Thessalonians. A mother who carries an infant son or daughter on her breast has a naturally fond affection that is unequalled in other human contexts. The Greek word translated fond affection (homeiromai; used only here in the New Testament) means to long for someone passionately and earnestly, and, being linked to a mother’s love, is intended here to express an affection so deep and compelling as to be unsurpassed. Ancient inscriptions on the tombs of dead babies sometimes contained this term when parents wanted to describe their sad longing for a too-soon-departed child.

Paul acknowledged that God naturally designed such intimate affection into the hearts of mothers. The hearts of all righteous spiritual leaders have been supernaturally given the same type of affection for their people, even as he and his companions had for those who were Christ’s.

SACRIFICIAL LOVE

we were well-pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God but also our own lives, because you had become very dear to us. (2:8b)

Such personal and intimate supernatural affection was not out of a sense of obligation; they were not merely carrying out an assignment as God’s messengers. It was, rather, the highest joy of their hearts to so love. Paul said they were well-pleased to so minister. That desire defined an eagerness and zealousness generated from love-filled hearts (cf. 3:12).

They came first of all to impart … the gospel of God. The verb translated impart means to share, or give someone something of which one retains a part. That is exactly what happens when Christians impart to other people divine truth. They give someone else the good news of salvation, yet without losing possession of it themselves.

Paul and his fellow workers taught the transforming truths of the gospel of God (see comments on 2:2) and yet retained those truths, even strengthening them by the giving (as all good teachers know), thus forming a loving, enriching fellowship with those who accepted the message. Implicit in the expression gospel of God is a doctrinal fullness that encompasses justification, sanctification, and glorification (cf. Titus 1:1–2). (And because God is the source of the good news, even election is included.) The missionaries understood and obeyed the Great Commission’s injunction that said Christians were to “make disciples of all the nations … teaching them to observe all that I commanded you” (Matt. 28:19–20). They exhorted the Thessalonians to repent and embrace Christ’s death and resurrection (justification). They also instructed them on how to live holy lives in obedience to Scripture and in the power of the Holy Spirit (sanctification) and to wait for their eternal glory at the glorious coming of the Lord for His beloved church (glorification). (In reality, all New Testament teaching relates to the complete gospel in some way.)

Besides imparting the complete gospel, Paul, Silas, and Timothy shared also their own lives. Literally, they gave up their souls—their real inner beings—for the sake of the Thessalonians. There was nothing superficial or partial about their sacrificial service. A woman who fulfills the biblical role for motherhood does the same thing when she, at great cost to herself, unselfishly and generously sets aside her life for the benefit of her beloved children. That is especially true of the nursing mother as she provides nourishing milk for her little one and cares for her newborn baby’s every need.

Paul ministered to his people with that same attitude of all-out commitment because, as babies to a mother, they had become very dear to him. Very dear adds to the images and descriptions intended by Paul to unmistakably demonstrate the heart of a godly pastor.

UNSELFISH LABOR

For you recall, brethren, our labor and hardship, how working night and day so as not to be a burden to any of you, we proclaimed to you the gospel of God. (2:9)

For proof of his affection for them, Paul again urged the Thessalonians to recall the character of the ministry he had with them. Labor and hardship appropriately summarize the ministry at Thessalonica. Labor emphasizes the difficulty of a particular deed itself, and hardship underscores the strenuous toil and struggle in performing it. Those two words combine to reflect not only the loving attitude of motherly concern, but also the sincere application of that concern. Every mother knows there is no price her children can pay her for what she does for them. She does not expect them to compensate her for nursing them, for displaying a deep affection for them, or for embracing their every need sacrificially in heartfelt love. Likewise, Paul told the church that he and his colleagues eagerly ministered to them, with no desire for the compensation they had a right to expect (cf. 1 Cor. 9:7–11; 1 Tim. 5:17–18).

Paul gives a further explanation of this sacrifice in 2 Thessalonians 3:7–9:

He and his companions lived on what he received from the Philippians (Phil. 4:16) and what he earned in his trade as a tent maker. Since he clearly stayed in Thessalonica beyond the three Sabbaths which he first taught at the synagogue, he had time to set up a tent making business—which he did, working night and day with his hands to support himself and those with him.

Paul did not want to be a burden to any of the Thessalonians because he knew they lacked material resources (cf. 2 Cor. 8:1–2). Though they gave generously and sacrificially for the impoverished believers in Jerusalem (cf. vv. 3–4), it was out of the “deep poverty” that was typical of believers (cf. 1 Cor. 1:26–28), especially in the war-ravaged, oft-plundered Roman province of Macedonia.

So Paul pictured Silas, Timothy, and himself as spiritual mothers who made the maximum effort to provide gentleness, intimate affection, sacrificial love, and hard-working provision as they proclaimed to them the gospel of God. That maternal metaphor, however, only partially describes the effective spiritual leader. Describing the spiritual leader as a father completes Paul’s picture of leadership.

THE SPIRITUAL LEADER AS FATHER

You are witnesses, and so is God, how devoutly and uprightly and blamelessly we behaved toward you believers; just as you know how we were exhorting and encouraging and imploring each one of you as a father would his own children, so that you would walk in a manner worthy of the God who calls you into His own kingdom and glory. (2:10–12)

First Corinthians 16:13 contains the distinctive New Testament definition of manliness, which is a helpful corollary to understanding the paternal aspect of spiritual leadership. After instructing the Corinthian believers on how to stand firm and be alert in the face of sinful factionalism and compromising weakness, Paul exhorted them to “act like men, be strong.” The Greek verb translated “act like men” means “to conduct oneself in a courageous way.” That injunction further clarifies the command to “be strong,” summing up the matter of manliness and being the equivalent of the old English term fortitude. (Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary defines fortitude as “strength of mind that enables a person to encounter danger or bear pain or adversity with [resolute] courage.”)

Effective spiritual leaders, then, will be men who have strength of conviction and the courage to stand on it. God has called them to noble spiritual standards (cf. Eph. 4:11–12; 1 Tim. 3:1–13; 2 Tim. 2:2; 1 Peter 5:1–4) and granted them by truth and the Holy Spirit the fortitude to uphold those standards and remain firm, unmoved, and uncompromising in the face of any opposition.

That Corinthian text is the only place in the New Testament where the phrase “act like men, be strong” appears. But the Septuagint translators used it a number of times, and some of those key passages provide additional insight and richness to the phrase’s implications for leadership.

As unfolded in the Joshua passage, the first source of courage for Joshua in his task as spiritual leader was the continuing presence of God (“I will be with you”); the second was the promise of God (“I swore to their fathers”); and the third was the power of God (“Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go”). Based on those divine resources, God called Joshua to obey His law, knowing that such obedience would make him a successful leader. Those truths, so simply given, apply to all who lead in God’s kingdom.

Perhaps the apostle Paul drew from the above-cited passages as he elucidated the paternal metaphor of spiritual leadership and reminded the Thessalonians how he and his missionary companions exemplified it.

THE FATHER AS MODEL

You are witnesses, and so is God, how devoutly and uprightly and blamelessly we behaved toward you believers; (2:10)

As with all leaders, a father’s duty is to lead by example, setting the standard of virtuous integrity in his family (Deut. 4:9; Prov. 13:24; Eph. 6:4; Col. 3:21; Heb. 12:9); and that is also the spiritual leader’s responsibility to his people. With that in mind, Paul called upon the Thessalonians again to remember what he had said and how he had ministered among them (2:1, 2, 5, and 9). The phrase You are witnesses repeats the reminder of verse 1, “for you yourselves know,” and the phrase and so is God looks back to verses 4 and 5 in which Paul described God’s omniscient examination of his motive and his own testimony of his personal integrity.

Thus Paul pointed both to the Thessalonians’ firsthand knowledge and God’s perfect insight into how devoutly and uprightly and blamelessly he and his friends behaved toward them. Devoutly means “in a holy manner” and emphasizes how Paul, Silas, and Timothy lived before God. The adverb uprightly (“righteously”) refers to how well the men dealt righteously under divine law toward both God and man. And finally, the word blamelessly pertains to their reputation before people. In every respect, they were exemplary spiritual fathers, set-ting the standard for all who have followed.

THE FATHER AS TEACHER AND MOTIVATOR

just as you know how we were exhorting and encouraging and imploring each one of you as a father would his own children, (2:11)

As a father would his own children expresses the natural, normal function of a father concerned about the well-being of his own children. Fathers are not only examples, but also instructors. So the spiritual father is not to be merely a model but also a personal teacher and motivator. This fatherly instruction is conveyed in three verbs describing what fathers do and what Paul had done continually.

Exhorting is from parakaleō, literally “to call alongside,” and is related to the noun paraklētos, “one who comes alongside,” which is one of the titles for the Holy Spirit (John 14:16–17, 26; 15:26; cf. Gen. 1:2; Isa. 11:2; John 3:6; Rom. 8:9, 15–16; Eph. 1:13; 1 Peter 4:14). The apostle referred to coming alongside children for the purpose of aiding, directing, and instructing wisely as a source of character conduct.

Encouraging (paramutheomai), meaning to encourage in the sense of comfort and consolation, is so critical in assisting toward spiritual growth because of the many obstacles and failures Christians can experience. Used in John 11:19 and 31 for the consolation given to the grieving family of Lazarus, the word was reserved for the tender, restorative, compassionate uplifting needed by a struggling, burdened, heartbroken child. This beautiful expression of natural fatherly kindness also fits the spiritual father.

Finally, Paul reminded the believers that he had been imploring each one (singling them out personally). Imploring is the Greek participle marturomenoi, which is usually translated “testifying,” or “witnessing,” is related to the word martyr because so many faithful witnesses died for their boldness. Paul warned the Thessalonians that any deviation from the divinely prescribed course of conduct had serious consequences. The warning was an admonishment that if they did not follow the course laid out for them, they, as disobedient children would receive from a father, could expect to receive spiritual discipline from the apostle.

THE FATHER AS PRODUCER

so that you would walk in a manner worthy of the God who calls you into His own kingdom and glory. (2:12)

Like a father whose goal is the mature wisdom of his children, the apostle Paul concluded his exhortation by affirming that a spiritual father will endeavor to continue his efforts until he produces sons and daughters who walk in a manner worthy—live mature lives. Walk refers to daily conduct, as it often does in the New Testament epistles (e.g., Rom. 6:4; 2 Cor. 5:7; Gal. 5:16, 25; Eph. 2:10; 4:1; 5:8; Col. 1:10; 2:6; 1 John 2:6). In referring to the God who calls, Paul was again directly referring to the truth of the Thessalonians’ election, which he stated in 1:4 (see the discussion in chapter 1 of this volume) and again mentions in 5:24.

Here the divine call, as always in the epistles, refers to the effectual saving call. By it God, through the faith graciously and sovereignly granted to sinners, regenerates, justifies, and sanctifies them. And Paul stated the singular end of that call—entrance into His own kingdom and glory. Though they, as all believers, had not yet seen either the millennial kingdom or the eternal kingdom, they were already citizens of the redeemed kingdom over which God now rules (Luke 17:21; Col. 1:13; cf. Rom. 14:17). Thus they had a present share in the glory of God as well as a promise of the future glory in the kingdom yet to come. All believers look forward to sharing in the full glory of the heavenly kingdom when God raises them to be like Christ and with Him for eternity (Ps. 73:24; Prov. 3:35; Rom. 9:23; 1 Cor. 15:43; Phil. 3:20–21; Col. 3:4; 2 Thess. 2:14; 1 Peter 5:10; cf. Matt. 5:12; John 14:2; Rom. 8:18; 2 Cor. 4:17; Heb. 4:9; 11:16; 1 Peter 1:3–4; Rev. 7:16–17).

The parental pictures of spiritual leadership in 1 Thessalonians 2:7–12 clearly demonstrate that leadership in the church must be balanced. It is not enough for leaders just to be compassionate, tender, and caring as spiritual mothers. They also need to live uncompromising, pure, and exemplary lives as spiritual fathers—lives that, in their motives and actions, set the standard for all to follow (cf. 1 Cor. 11:1). Furthermore, they need to teach the truth faithfully, building up the saints in spiritual wisdom (cf. Eph. 4:11–16) and displaying the courage of conviction to come alongside and exhort and call their spiritual children to obedience, through both strong discipline and tender consolation. These efforts lead their congregation to live in a way that honors God, who has called them to His eternal kingdom and glory.