Timothy 5:1–16

DO NOT REBUKE an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, ²older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.

³Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need. ⁴But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God. ⁵The widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help. ⁶But the widow who lives for pleasure is dead even while she lives. ⁷Give the people these instructions, too, so that no one may be open to blame. ⁸If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

⁹No widow may be put on the list of widows unless she is over sixty, has been faithful to her husband, ¹⁰and is well known for her good deeds, such as bringing up children, showing hospitality, washing the feet of the saints, helping those in trouble and devoting herself to all kinds of good deeds.

¹¹As for younger widows, do not put them on such a list. For when their sensual desires overcome their dedication to Christ, they want to marry. ¹²Thus they bring judgment on themselves, because they have broken their first pledge. ¹³Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying things they ought not to. ¹⁴So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander. ¹⁵Some have in fact already turned away to follow Satan.

¹⁶If any woman who is a believer has widows in her family, she should help them and not let the church be burdened with them, so that the church can help those widows who are really in need.

Original Meaning

Relationship in the Christian Family (5:1–2)

VERSES 1–2 PROVIDE a terse introduction to the topic. The instructions are comprehensive, covering all four possible relationships: older men, younger men, older women, and younger women. The instructions are not directed to these groups, as they would be in the usual household instructions, as to their responsibilities. Instead, they are directed to Timothy to guide him in his relationship to them.

The first of these is in the singular, “older man”; the others are plural. In this context it is clear that the Greek word presbyteros refers to age, not to a church elder. Although Timothy has been given considerable authority to deal with false teaching and false teachers, his attitude to the older men is not to be harsh even if they need correction. This is especially so because his relationships in the church are like those in the family household. Also, since the Lord’s servant “must not quarrel…[but] must be kind to everyone” (2 Tim. 2:24), Timothy certainly must not treat an older man “harshly.” The verb used here for “rebuke” (epiplesso) means to strike out at someone (in a figurative usage here, to strike verbally).

This prohibition is followed by a contrasting imperative, which governs the three following instances. The positive verb “exhort” is parakaleo (translated as “urge” in 1:3; 2:1; 6:2). The word “urge” does not fit the present English sentence structure (e.g., the sentence does not say what Timothy is to urge younger men to do), and the translation “preach” (4:13 translates the related noun as “preaching”) would be too strong. The other two relationships need little explanation, other than to stress the importance of the Lord’s servant treating younger women “with absolute purity.”1

Bridging Contexts

DEALING WITH PEOPLE. A Christian’s relationship with other people is certainly not less important than other aspects of Christian life, nor is it simply one responsibility among many. Not only did Jesus make forgiveness of others a condition for our own forgiveness (Matt. 6:14–15), but he also said that if we only love those who love us and if greet only our brothers and sisters, we are doing no more than the despised tax collectors and the pagans do (5:46–47). If this is important for any Christian, it certainly crucial for Christians in positions of leadership.

Yet the same person whose smooth voice is heard on the radio or whose cheery words are read in a publication may, behind the scenes, be a demagogue. Sadly, sometimes the more important a Christian leader becomes the less important he thinks his associates are. It was not to be that way with Timothy even if someone needed correction; the young pastor was not to rebuke that person harshly but to exhort him as though he were his own father (v. 1).

That was Paul’s instructions concerning men older than Timothy. But neither was he to be harsh with young men; they were to be treated as brothers. One wonders how many pastoral associates or interns have given up Christian ministry because of harsh criticisms from a mentor. There is, of course, no indication that the men and women mentioned in this passage were working closely with Timothy. And given the low view of women prevalent in those days, it was possible for even a sincere Christian man to slip into a feeling of superiority to his sisters in Christ. It is certainly possible for missionaries in any culture to lack the respect they should have for women, especially if they do not receive respect from the men in their own ethnic or social group. It is also easy for men, including or perhaps especially those in Christian ministry, to “use” younger women in the congregation in the pursuit of their own goals.

The needs of widows. The instructions in verses 1–2 prepare for Paul’s giving attention to a needy group in the first century, the widows. It is instructive to see how he employs his blended treatment of doctrine and life with regard to this subject. In verse 4 the children and grandchildren of a widow “should learn first of all to put their religion into practice.” I have had the experience of seeing very religious people virtually neglect their parents when they were older and in need. Sometimes children who have the means to give help shirk their duty and leave it up to a sibling, perhaps an unmarried woman, to care for the parents. Those who hear such a person preach, sing, or pray beautifully may have no idea that they have not put their “religion into practice.” The words of verse 8 are amazingly strong in asserting that one who does not provide for his or her family has “denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” “The faith” here is the body of Christian doctrine. The individual has not only failed to put doctrine into practice but has denied it.

The exact social position, and economic position as well, of a widow will vary in different societies. Available resources will also vary. Customs regarding remarriage also differ from culture to culture. Christians must proceed thoughtfully to determine what is the best way to put doctrine into practice and to express love and respect in caring for widows in their society.

The needs of the elderly, and especially of widows, are universal, though they do not receive equal help in all societies. One hesitates to say that they are a problem, because, in addition to the attitude that word reveals, for an elderly person to think of herself or himself as a problem can add to a sense of uselessness, burden, and perhaps guilt. Although the need is universal, both widows and the elderly are viewed and treated in different ways. Some cultures traditionally have multigenerational homes, with each generation feeling loved and wanted and with those who are bereaved or aging staying on through their declining years. Other cultures devalue older people by ignoring them as they languish in sparse circumstances or by indifferently removing them from the family home and, in a cursory way, putting them in a “retirement” home. By contrast, when newly married couples establish a home that is monogenerational (until children arrive), they thereby effectively, if not deliberately, remove themselves from parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles who may eventually need care.

Some families, wanting to do what is best for an older person, find a suitable retirement community or home, but then suffer immense guilt for not giving personal care in their own home. I recall my own mother saying, “This is the worst day of my life,” as we were driving her to a fine retirement home, lovingly administered by a friend of ours. But within a few months, as we were driving her back there after Thanksgiving at our house, she surprised us by saying how glad she was to be going back to where her friends were! She lived there peacefully until she was ninety-four.

How then can we determine what is best for widows, based on 1 Timothy 5:3–16? What principles does Paul express? We must consider the needs of the widow, the responsibilities of her family, and the responsibilities of the widow herself.

(1) Determining needs. We should be sensitive to the actual needs of widows. Many widows today have considerable wealth through investments, retirement programs, and inherited funds. But there are needs of a different nature that are easily misread. Sometimes, when a woman is bereaved, it is assumed that she is unable to make the ordinary daily business decisions formerly made by her husband. The family may underestimate her latent ability, fail to take her sensitivity sufficiently into consideration, and make decisions for her. A common action is to insist that she leave her home and move into a different situation, leaving familiar surroundings and friends. This decision is often made too quickly and without adequate consultation with the individual. Again, we must be sensitive to her real needs.

(2) Family responsibilities. The care of a widow is primarily the responsibility of her family. Even when other sources of help are available (such as the church in Paul’s day), the family ought to assume responsibility. It may seem trite to suggest that in our contemporary society, where a widow may be some distance from her family members, the frequent use of mail and phones is welcome; many widows feel neglected and forgotten. A phone call or visit is more important than money or a gift. I recall how much it meant to my own mother when she was in her nineties and struggling to hold on to her memory, for me to bring a street map of the neighborhood she knew as a child and help her recall the delights of her childhood in that way.

Each circumstance provides opportunity for creative support of widows, especially the elderly. Often in my own pastoral ministries and in visiting friends of my mother, I have heard widows complain that they rarely hear from their families. The other side of the coin is that their families often do not know what to do or say. As with people dying from a wasting disease, it is often difficult to see them and to carry on a meaningful, encouraging conversation. If an elderly person—and we should enlarge this beyond widows—lives in or visits a home with younger people who, in turn, have children, the situation may have other difficulties. The younger generation will probably be engrossed in their own affairs and, at mealtimes, be involved in conversation about their activities and opinions. The older person is cut off without anything to contribute and perhaps will not even understand the vocabulary used. Decreased hearing or incipient dementia complicates the problem further.

The most obvious responsibility of families is financial, as Paul states in verse 4 of our passage. He offers the reminder that for us to take care of a parent or grandparent is really a repayment for the years of care he or she has given us. As the senior person gets older, we may find ourselves in a position of being a parent to our parents, especially as their mental acuity diminishes. Older people may not realize how much their family are paying for their support. Worse, they may become suspicious that their children or grandchildren are taking their money or possessions. Sadly, this is sometimes true. But even in good situations, elderly people may develop a fear of being “taken.” They may squirrel away their own funds and then blame others for robbing them. Such circumstances give Christian families a difficult but wonderful opportunity to “honor your father and your mother” (Ex. 20:12).

The Bible also teaches that caring for widows is a religious duty (see, again, James 1:27). We cannot claim to be pleasing God while neglecting a widow, especially one in our own family. Verse 16 indicates that a believing woman should take care of any widows in her family. This may suggest a greater sensitivity on the part of women to widows, but it may also reflect a time when men were the wage earners and women were normally at home, where they could take care of needy family members. The point Paul makes, however, is that the women should try to assume the burden so the church does not have to. That is a matter of thoughtfulness for others.

(3) The widow’s responsibilities. Reciprocally, the widow has a responsibility to seek God on her own, to trust him, and to pray for others continually. Verse 9 implies that she should continue to honor her husband. She should do good deeds, caring as much as possible for others, to the extent that she earns a reputation for doing this. It may take a while after bereavement, but a widow must learn to trust God for her needs and future, looking to him “night and day (v. 5). Then she can turn her attention to the needs of others (v. 10).

As for younger widows, in many cultures they have already had a good education and can enter or reenter the marketplace. Many will remarry. Of course, all single people need to guard their sexual desires (as all people should) and refrain from improper relationships. It is appropriate for younger widows to remarry without reproach and start a new family. Also, since Paul counsels remarried widows to manage their households, we may assume that he has the same expectation of all married women. While Paul could be interpreted as thinking that the only management role women should have is in the home, the text does not say that. The striking thing is the strength of the word “manage.” This should speak to men who, in their eagerness to be “head,” attempt to micromanage their homes and intrude into all areas of home management. Verse 14 affirms women who devote their gifts to the management of their homes.

Contemporary Significance

WIDOWS IN WESTERN society today. The age at which women become widows has varied, of course, from generation to generation and country to country. Barring accidents and pernicious diseases, women today in Western societies are more likely to survive childbirth and various infectious diseases to live into their seventies, eighties, and nineties. Better economic preparation is being made for the care of women, and insurance policies for extended care are readily available. In other cultures extended families are, so to speak, self-insured by the existence of several generations and several workers in one household. Yet some regions of the world have no built-in care patterns, and the provisions of this passage are more relevant.

At the same time, however, medical costs and costs for care facilities have skyrocketed in the United States. We have a need today of planning for our own advanced years as well as helping our parents to prepare for theirs. Some people think that good investing and the purchase of good insurance policies evidence a lack of faith. Yet failure to provide means that someone else will have to provide—perhaps another relative, perhaps the government, perhaps the church.

It is relatively easy today to secure the necessary information from publications and institutions, and to solicit the advice of gerontologists and geriatric specialists who can help in understanding the circumstances of advanced age psychologically, medically, sociologically, and so on. Churches can provide counseling, programs, and financial help as well as spiritual care to those who are left alone. There are many widows—and widowers as well—grieving and struggling alone in single room occupancy hotels and institutions and on the streets. There is plenty of opportunity to blend our own faith and practice in these days to care for widows.

James 1:27 and 1 Timothy 5 refer to literal widows. There are literal orphans also who need help (James 1:27). There are, however, parallel situations in our contemporary world in which we can express the same blend of doctrine and life in helping those in need. Today there are many divorced people who are alone, hurting, feeling misunderstood, and perhaps having financial need. There are also children of divorces; recent studies have shown that divorce usually has an effect on children that continues even into their adult lives. They are not orphans, but they are children in need of love, which means understanding and care. There are also children who have been abused. They and abused women (with a few men as well) give opportunity for Christians to combine their faith with practice. In these matters James and the Pastoral Letters share the conviction that “religion” must be blended with deeds. Our churches should be centers of healing.

Among the books surrounding me in my study are Beyond Widowhood, 23Women as Widows, 24 Bereavement: Counseling the Grieving Throughout the Life Cycle, 25 and Our Aging Society.26 These books are a testimony to the attention that has been given in recent years to both aging and widowhood. These two topics are, of course, related, having to do in large measure with the increasingly large proportion of our society represented by the term senior citizen. Many communities have mutual support groups for the elderly and for the bereaved, the vast majority of whom are widows. Social Security has specific provisions for surviving spouses. Health care is available for the elderly, notably through Medicare. Private insurers even offer long-term care insurance, nursing home insurance, and other special packages.

Because of such programs, it could be said a few years ago that Christians in general no longer had the need that existed in earlier generations to provide for the elderly and widows. Government entitlement programs were doing what families used to do. In the 1990s, however, it became clear that the aging population was too large for these programs. Republicans seized on the question of whether Medicare would shortly be bankrupt. The skyrocketing costs of health care became a hot political topic, with business and government trying to affix responsibility on the others. The future burden on today’s younger generation is a matter for deep anxiety (along with college costs!).

Work and preparing for retirement are subjects of not a few books, magazines, and newsletters. Age discrimination is a feared monster both among those who need to keep working in order to live and among employers, who need caution in discharging a worker of declining abilities, lest there be a lawsuit. And at the end of the road are the questions of “quality of life,” euthanasia, doctor-assisted suicide, and living wills with instructions for termination of “heroic measures.”

Suddenly the church has had to open its eyes to the fact that Christians will once again have to consider what they should do for the aging and for widows. An exemplary program for senior citizens launched some years ago by the LaSalle Street Church in Chicago continues to point the way for urban churches to care not only for their own but also for those in the surrounding community. The love of Christ is expressed in food, pastoral care, legal counsel, and low cost housing. When a fire took the lives and homes of senior citizens in a nearby single resident hotel, LaSalle Street Church held a memorial service for the whole community.

Specific ways to help. There are several specific ways in which Christians today can help meet the needs of those who are “really widows.”

(1) They can have a church member qualified for hospice care, so that if a person is near death, that person will understand what the surviving spouse is experiencing and perhaps also participate in the final days of care, enlisting other Christians to help also.

(2) The church can assist in the stages of bereavement. There is plenty of help for people in the early stages. Not all go through the same sequence of grief, but understanding the forms grief takes helps those who desire to bring comfort and encouragement.

(3) It would also be good to have at least one of the church membership, perhaps a deacon, become acquainted with the government entitlement programs, such as Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid, including enrollment procedures, timing, and computation of benefits. That person might also be able to find out certain financial information, such as retirement plans, plans that are tax deferred, and 401K programs, and how to roll over benefits paid after retirement in time to prevent taxation. Many of the elderly feel unable to manage their affairs wisely, especially older women without business experience.27 This means not only being alert to help in practical matters, but also being aware of the deep apprehension over their future financial health. Pastors, friends, and lay counselors should be aware of this pervasive anxiety.

It is a sensitive matter to evaluate the actual financial needs of a widow. The ways in which a portfolio can be structured are varied, and many tend to be fearful and cautious in revealing their financial matters to others. Nevertheless, if 1 Timothy 5 is to be applied, some responsible persons need to be informed of the extent of need. Preferably more than one person will be involved, so there is no opportunity or suspicion of manipulation.

(4) Attention must be given also to the family. They may have different perspectives on an aging relative’s financial security and on what decisions are best. Some may be unwilling or feel unable to provide assistance, so 1 Timothy 5:4 and 16 may have to be explained to them. It may even be that family members will seek personal benefit. Some may try to convince the widow to make large gifts to them. This could not only benefit them personally at her expense, but could be done under the guise of avoiding estate taxes, when actually they have in mind reducing the person’s visible assets so she will be qualified for state aid, in effect causing the government to take over their responsibility.

(5) Pastoral visits to widows are also important. I once visited the widow of an elderly Christian. Both husband and wife had been deeply spiritual and had a son who was a missionary. When I entered I noticed that she was addressing envelopes. She told me that she was sending gospel “tracts” to everyone in the local phone book. Then she told me that she had a spiritual concern she wanted to talk over with me. She said that she was not sure she was saved. I felt like saying that this was ridiculous, given her love for God and her desire to see other people come to the Lord through her project. But I realized that this was a manifestation of her deep grief; perhaps it was a feeling that she had not been worthy, and so God took her husband. Whatever the case, she needed to be helped to assurance and into a continuing relationship with her Lord as taught in 1 Timothy 5:5 and 10.

Younger widows. So far, a good deal of the teaching of 1 Timothy can be applied with an intelligent and spiritual understanding of the individual circumstances and feelings of the older widow. The instructions for young widows, including the age at which one becomes qualified for support, are more difficult because of the differences in perceptions of aging in different cultures and in different periods of history. Younger women today have usually been able to establish careers or at least secure employment. They can keep in good health and have ways of maintaining their physical appearance.

It is still true, as implied in the text, that to many men younger women are more attractive sexually, but a woman’s sexual desire continues longer than has often been thought. Some recent research seems to show that men decline more rapidly than women in the later years. But age seems to have little to do with being idle and going around visiting people (or, today, making phone calls). Using free time to go on-line and search the Internet to establish contacts, including the use of e-mail, is another matter, however. Younger women are more likely to be adept with computers. The Internet allows those who want to establish contact with men easily to do so. The moral problems of cyberspace are well known, and Satan is still able to lure women as well as men into dangerous situations. Thus, the warnings of 1 Timothy 5:11–15 are still applicable.

Women should be encouraged (if they are reluctant) to remarry, and age is not the dividing line it used to be. Likewise, women hardly need to be encouraged to manage their homes, especially given the access they have to women’s literature on the home and to Christian materials about bringing up children and relating well to spouses. They will also probably have more general background and education to help them be good managers.

In all of this we must remember that in Paul’s instructions to Timothy, it is the church that should accept responsibility for widows. Even though there are various resources available today that were unavailable and not even conceived of in Paul’s day, the government is not able to do it all, nor should it. The church is still a “household,” the family of God.

1. For an important study on the household theme in the Pastoral Letters see David C. Verner, The Household of God, SBLDS 71 (Chico, Calif.: Scholars, 1983), 161–66.

2. B. W. Winter, “Providentia for the Widows of 1 Timothy 5:3–16,” TynB 39 (1988): 83.

3. L. P. Wilkinson, The Roman Experience (Washington, D.C.: Univ. Press of America, 1974), 26.

4. Winter, “Providentia for the Widows,” 85.

5. Bruce J. Malina and Jerome H. Neyrey in The Social World of Luke-Acts: Models for Interpretation, Jerome H. Neyrey, ed. (Peabody, Mass.: Hendrickson, 1991), 44.

6. The NIV “widows who are really in need” paraphrases the Greek “really widows,” losing some of the attention-grabbing impact, but accurately expressing its meaning.

7. Polycarp, Epistle to the Philippians 4.3.

8. Ignatius, To Smyrna 13.1.

9. Apostolic Tradition XI.1.4.5. He added, “But she shall not be ordained because she does not offer the oblation nor has she a liturgical ministry. But ordination is for the clergy, on account of their ministry. But the widow is appointed for prayer, and this is a function of all Christians.”

10. Apostolic Constitutions 3.7.

11. B. Holmberg, Paul and Power (Philadelphia: Fortress, 1978).

12. In Rom. 11:13 the KJV has Paul saying, “I magnify mine office,” but the word “office” here is simply diakonia, “service.” In 12:4, “All members have not the same office,” the Greek is praxis, “function.” The word “office” in 1 Tim. 3:1, “If a man desire the office of a bishop,” represents episkope, “oversight.” In the phrases “let them use the office of a deacon” and “used the office of a deacon” (1 Tim. 3:10, 13) the Greek word translated “office” is simply a form of diakoneo, “serve.” In three instances, the KJV inserts “office” into a phrase referring to the [Jewish] “priesthood” (Luke 1:8, 9; Heb. 7:5).

13. “Office” may be distinguished from function in that the former implies a position that always exists and requires an incumbent. If a senator dies, for example, someone else must be appointed to fill that office. On the other hand, an attorney general may appoint a special prosecutor to function for a time for a particular purpose.

14. Kroeger and Kroeger, I Suffer Not a Woman, 91.

15. One example given by BAGD is military enrollment (412).

16. See his Laws 757d.

17. Majorie Lightman and William Zeisel, “Univira: An Example of Continuity and Change in Roman Society,” Church History 46 (1977): 25–26.

18. Ibid., 30–32.

19. See LSJ, 1204.

20. This text should be kept in mind when assessing the role of the wife in a family.

21. It is possible that Paul used a masculine word rather than a feminine, though the manuscript evidence is weighted toward the feminine as the original text. This would not be the first time that an ancient copyist changed the text to give preference to the male.

22. For further study, see also the following: M. Bassler, ‘The Widows’ Tale: A Fresh Look at 1 Tim. 5:3–16,” JBL 3 (1984): 23–41; R. A. Campbell, “kai malista oikeion: A New Look at 1 Timothy 5.8,” NTS 41 (1995): 157–60; Verner, The Household of God, 161–66; Paul Veyne, ed., A History of Private Life. 1. From Pagan Rome to Byzantium, trans. Arthur Goldhammer (Cambridge, Mass.: Harvard Univ. Press, 1987), 75, 497–98, 535, 568, 598, 604; B. W. Winter, “Providentia for the Widow.”

23. By Robert C. DiGiulio (New York: Free Press, 1989).

24. By Helena Znaniecka Lopata (New York: Elsevier, 1979).

25. By David A. Crenshaw (New York: Continuum, 1990).

26. By Alan Pifer and Lydia Bronte, eds. (New York: W. W. Norton, 1986).

27. Others may be well able to make wise financial decisions and would feel demeaned by too much help.

Original Meaning

Caring for Widows (5:3–16)

“SORTING OUT WIDOWS was not only a pastoral headache in the early church, it has also proved to be an exegetical one for modern commentators.”2 At first glance, it may seem obvious who is a widow, or even who is a widow in need. Why does Timothy and those with whom he serves need help in sorting them out? The basic topic seems to be providing financial help for needy widows, but there are several questions associated with this that need to be addressed. The text implies that the following questions were being asked in the church: (1) Which widows truly are in need? (2) What is the responsibility of family and other relatives? (3) How can the church determine which widows qualify for inclusion on their list? (4) How should the church deal with women who do not qualify for the list?

The main problems faced by the exegete are: (1) Why does this passage occur where it does in the Pastoral Letters? (2) How should we understand the phrase “really widows” (NRSV; NIV has “who are really in need,” v. 3)? (3) What is the “list”? Is it only for financial aid, including all “real” widows, or is it a special list of widows who have a role of honor or service in the church, perhaps similar to the order of widows in the postapostolic church? (4) Why is it assumed that a widow who does not qualify for the list is likely to fall into a dissolute lifestyle and follow Satan? (5) Does this passage contribute to the problem many commentators see in this letter of women being victimized, especially by false teachers?

In the ancient Roman empire, life was short. People were considered old in their forties. There were few widowers; the men died early.3 Widows might be wealthy and thus their attractiveness to men could be more than physical beauty. Young wealthy widows would be especially desirable. This probably describes the social context of the church in which Timothy ministered at Ephesus. We may assume that there were more unmarried women than available men and that some of these might become financially destitute while others could fall into a dissolute lifestyle and eventually into the hands of Satan himself.

Care of widows was important in Jewish tradition. “The LORD…God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God” is the one who “defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow” (Deut. 10:17–18). God’s people were to do the same. “Do not take advantage of a widow or an orphan” (Ex. 22:22). “Do not deprive the alien or the fatherless of justice, or take the cloak of the widow as a pledge” (Deut. 24:17). “Cursed is the man who withholds justice from the alien, the fatherless or the widow” (Deut. 27:19; cf. Isa. 1:17; Zech. 7:10).

The Jewish concern for widows appears also in the New Testament: “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world” (James 1:27). Acts 6:1–6 reveals the concern the early Jerusalem church had for the widows, first those who were Hebrew-speaking and then those who spoke Greek. As for the Greco-Roman world outside of Judaism, a widow was to be cared for by her sons in her husband’s home or, if that was not possible, she was to return to her parental home.4

One factor that may have been at work behind the scenes of 1 Timothy is the ancient concept of honor and shame. “Recognition” in verse 3 translates the Greek verb for “to honor” (timao). Does this word refer to financial help, which seems to be the case with a similar noun (time) in verse 17 (see comments below)? It should be observed by way of background that a married woman participated in her husband’s honor, assuming that she had the appropriate sense of shame. This shame was not the same as being ashamed because of bad behavior, nor was it merely connected with modesty. Malina and Neyrey state that women not under the tutelage of a male (e.g., notably widows and divorced women) are viewed as stripped of female honor (i.e., “shameless”), hence more like males then females, therefore sexually predatory, aggressive, hence dangerous. Only remarriage would restore their true sexual roles, but often this is not socially possible. This points to the precarious position of the widow and divorcee…. Such cultural attitudes toward widows are articulated in 1 Tim 5:3–16.5

First Timothy 5:3–6:2 comments on three groups of people—two of them social groups (widows and slaves) and between them an ecclesiastical group (elders). This seems to account for the placement of the present passage, especially if the idea of “honor” is a connecting thread (5:3, 17; 6:2). Women also receive attention in chapter 2 and elders in chapter 3. The topic of money comes up again in chapter 6. As is typical in the Pastoral Letters, topics are scattered rather than grouped together.

Summary of Paul’s argument. The topic now being widows, how should the church address their needs—social, personal, and religious? The first step was to determine financial need. Paul makes it clear that not all those whose husbands had died deserve this support. Some are being cared for and some are not living in a way that commends themselves support. So it is necessary to limit the definition of “widow” for the purpose of determining who gets support.

After instructing Timothy to honor those who are “really” widows (v. 3), Paul defines them first as those who are alone and have no family members to care for them. Moreover, they must trust in God in contrast to living for pleasure (vv. 5–6). The three characteristics cited in verse 11 identify those who are to be put on “the list” (see below for comments on what this list is). To be placed on “the list” a widow must be over sixty (v. 9), must have been faithful to her husband (v. 9b), and must have had a reputation for “good deeds” (v. 10). The next verses (vv. 11–15) explain why younger widows should not be on this list. The section concludes with a reprise on a family’s care for its own widows, now focused on female family members (v. 16).

Specific details. The meaning of the opening verb, “honor” (timao in v. 3; NIV, “give proper recognition”) is clear. In addition to the background ideas about honor mentioned above, this verb has a noble history signifying the honoring, even the revering, of worthy persons. What is not certain is whether in this passage it has an extended meaning of honoring by providing a monetary gift or stipend. That meaning probably attaches to its related Greek noun time (v. 17), close enough to this passage to warrant consideration. That verse directs that the elders “who direct the affairs of the church well are worthy of double honor, especially those whose work is preaching and teaching.” The meaning “honorarium” or “financial support” is made probable by verse 18 that follows: “For the Scripture says, ‘Do not muzzle the ox while it is treading out the grain,’ and ‘The worker deserves his wages.’”

Yet shortly thereafter, slaves are told to “honor” (NRSV) or “respect” (NIV) their masters. In that circumstance it does not imply the giving of funds. In other words, timao can mean simply “honor” or “respect” in the present passage as well. It is true that financial support is the subject of this passage, but that fact does not require such a meaning in verse 3. Moreover, even if there was an official, remunerated order of widows, that is not directly dealt with until verses 9–10. The NIV “give proper recognition” is perhaps weak, but it does point to the purpose of the passage, which is to urge that the church identify those widows who deserve support.

The verb timao is in the imperative in verse 3, indicating that it is not optional whether one gives widows what they deserve. The honor and support of widows are responsibilities the community must seriously undertake. But the passage has both a positive and a negative purpose. Positively, those who are “really” widows must be located and helped; negatively, those who are not deserving should be excluded. It is as though those who do not qualify for help should not be considered widows at all.6 That is not to ignore their grief; rather, it is to determine their financial need. In that sense, this section is not a “pastoral” passage as we think of the word.

Verses 4–8 establish a connection between one’s “religion” and one’s concern for others. It may stem from the Ten Commandments, the fifth of which is, “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you” (Ex. 20:12). The command here, “honor,” may be the catchword between this passage and that. Even though there is no direct connection, there is an important truth in common: One who is truly religious will respect others, a truth found also in the so-called “second” great commandment about loving one’s neighbor. Jesus’ teaching in Mark 7:9–13 (on not using allegedly religious excuses to avoid duties, such as caring for parents) contains that commandment also. James 1:27, quoted above, lauds looking after orphans and widows.

Paul specifies in verse 8 that family members must care for their own or else they will be considered worse than unbelievers, and verse 4 makes it clear that those family members most responsible are the widow’s children. The religious dimension is also underscored by the conclusion of verse 4, that “this is pleasing to God.” One cannot be truly religious and please God when ignoring the needs of human beings, especially those in one’s own family.

But if the widow’s family is responsible to God for the way they treat her, she in turn is responsible to God for her attitude and life (v. 5). The description of a widow in need as one who is “really” a widow is now repeated from verse 3. Her four defining attributes are: (1) She is left “all alone”; (2) she “puts her hope in God”; (3) she “pray[s] and…ask[s] God for help”; and (4) she does so “night and day.” These may be in ascending order of importance in selecting worthy widows. It is not enough to be alone, for one can be alone and lonely but not look to God. One can indeed trust in God but not devote oneself to prayer.

Verse 5b contains two words, both meaning prayer, one being a more general term (proseuche, “pray”), the other (deesis, “ask,” less frequent in the New Testament), suggesting a pleading for help. The latter implies petitions for the widow herself and for others, while the former suggests devotional expressions of worship. The phrase “night and day,” along with the verb “continues,” expresses total devotion. It reminds us of the aged Anna, “a widow…[who] never left the temple but worshiped night and day, fasting and praying” and who testified concerning the infant Jesus (Luke 2:37).

The spiritual qualifications for “real” widowhood receive emphasis by means of the contrast with the widow who lives a self-serving life (v. 6). The rare Greek word that describes her (spatalao) occurs in only two other biblical passages, the LXX of Ezekiel 16:48, which describes Sodom, and James 5:5, where it describes the rich who live in “self-indulgence.” It is not simply that this widow enjoys life while the “real” widow lives in somber austerity, but that she grossly seeks her own pleasure to the neglect of others, while the worthy widow derives pleasure from the Lord. The self-seeking one is “dead even while she lives,” an interesting phrase occurring within a passage about those who have suffered the death of another. This could refer to her relationship to God (as in Eph. 2:2).

It is important (v. 7) that Timothy relay this command about the worldly widow as well as the other commands so that the church will not be laid “open to blame.” Such a concern for what others might think about Christianity occurs elsewhere in the Pastoral Letters (see the clauses expressing purpose in Titus 2:5, 8, 10). The implication in these verses is that unbelievers are looking for inconsistencies to criticize.

This section concludes (v. 8) with a warning about those who do not provide for their families. A strong word, used in James 3:14 (“deny the truth”) and in Jude 4 (“deny Jesus Christ”), occurs here: The irresponsible person has “denied the faith.” Paul does not clarify what is meant by “worse than an unbeliever,” but 1 Corinthians 5:1 describes a person who commits a sin not even found among pagans. According to Romans 2:14 Gentiles can still do by nature what the Jewish law (which they do not have) teaches. The Greco-Roman literature mentioned above shows concern for widows. Christians, therefore, should not sink below the moral standards of the unbelievers around them.

In verses 9–10 Paul explains what is necessary for a widow to be “put on the list.” The NIV calls it a “list of widows” for clarification, but some argue that this is a list of a specific kind of widows, that is, those who are in the “office” of widows, serving in special ways that other widows do not. We do know there was an order of widows in the postapostolic church, which apparently grew out of the instructions in this passage. Later there was an order of virgins as well, and eventually convents were established. Widows were called “the altar of God,” showing the respect they had for their devotion to God.7 Ignatius spoke of “virgins called widows”8—a reference to the choice of these women not to remarry but to live for God.

Hippolytus (A.D. 170–235) was cautious about which widows would qualify to belong to the order of widows:

When a widow is appointed she is not ordained but she shall be chosen by name. But if she lost her husband a long time previously, let her be appointed. But if she lately lost her husband, let her not be trusted. Even if she is aged let her be tested for a time for often the passions grow with him who gives place for them in himself. Let the widow be instituted by word only and let her be reckoned among the enrolled widows.9

At the end of the fourth century, the Apostolic Constitutions developed further instructions, including that a good widow should be modest and not greedy and be found “sitting at home.”10 This shows us a trajectory from 1 Timothy 5 through the fourth century that assumes an order or office of widows. Hippolytus insisted that widows not be ordained to clerical office, though some apparently did consider them appropriate candidates for some kind of ordination because they constituted such a distinct group of ministry within the church.

But does 1 Timothy teach that there should be an official order of widows in the church? One of the marks of an “office” from a sociological point of view is a specific selection marked by some kind of installation. Another is that there is usually some stipend.11 It would be useful to know whether the widows’ “enrollment” implied some kind of official installation and whether the financial help mentioned here constituted remuneration for service. But there is little hard evidence on this in Scripture or any other early Christian writings, and this may be a reading back of later circumstances.

Another consideration, of course, is whether the New Testament envisions any office other than for elder and deacon, if indeed the term office is even appropriate there. One problem is that no Greek word for “office” (e.g., prostasia, referring to leadership authority) is used in the New Testament. The KJV used the word “office” eight times in the New Testament, but in none of the texts is there a specific word for “office.”12 The widespread use of the KJV meant that to generations of readers “office” seemed a normal concept.13

There may be one clue as to the whether an order of widows for service existed this early. That is in 1 Timothy 3:11, where there are specific instructions for “women” (see comments). The question as to whether these constituted an order parallel to elders and deacons or whether they were the wives of deacons may be answered that the deacons’ wives served in a ministry that later became organized separately from that of their husbands. If so, the ministry of widows may have had a similar history, from an informal group to a recognized order. It is anachronistic, however, to say that “1 Timothy speaks of widows who are to be enrolled as members of the clergy.”14

We should also observe that the reference to giving widows honor (NIV “recognition”) in verse 3 need not imply enrollment in any special list, but the verb katalego in verse 9 does.15 However, without further evidence, that difference is not enough to postulate two distinct categories, general “honor” (meaning financial support) and acceptance into an order of widows for service. Conceivably the recognition itself constituted an official “installation” and the “honor” of verse 3 involved a remuneration for service, but the section introduced by verse 3 does not seem to describe an official order as much as do verses 9–10, where (significantly) no remuneration is mentioned.

We take the position, therefore, that the “list” is mentioned first in verse 9 because Paul is giving more specific details about qualification for support (such as specific age). There is no question that the verb which both NIV and NRSV translate as “be put on the list” means selection and enrollment. Thus, even if it does not mean enlistment in an order of service, it certainly means listing in a definite, openly recognized group qualified to receive financial assistance.

The age of sixty (v. 9) was considered old in the ancient world, but it was the time Plato determined best for entrance into priestly service in his ideal state.¹⁶

The meaning of the next qualification is debated. Literally it is “[the] woman [or wife] of one man,” but that does not solve the problem. Does it mean “married only once” (NRSV) or “faithful to her husband” (NIV)? The same phrase (adapted to gender) describes deacons in 1 Timothy 3:2 (see comments). It is equivalent to the Latin word univira (the gender was normally feminine; it was customarily applied to women). The word was applied to the noble Roman matrons and has even been found in tribute on tombstones. However, as divorce increased in the Roman empire, these strong-minded matrons were no longer assumed to have been married only once, and other honorific terms were used. Conversely, the term univira came to be used for women in other social classes who had been married only once.17

This made the expression available for the new and growing Christian church. Eventually the church used it in a more particular way, to designate those who did not marry after widowhood.¹⁸ It would seem, therefore, from secular and pagan usage that the expression denotes someone married only once. But it has been argued that to assign this restrictive meaning to our passage results in an inner contradiction. That is, although Paul requires that widows who receive remuneration must not have married a second time (v. 9), his word to younger widows is that they should remarry (v. 14). But his advice to younger widows may have been intended to provide them with financial support through their second husbands as well as to keep them from immorality. We must keep in mind that the issue at hand is whether or not to give financial aid, not a judgment on remarriage. How the church should respond to the needs of young widows who later become widowed again after a second marriage is not stated.

Perhaps the best conclusion we can come to is that Paul here expresses an ideal of no remarriage. The phrase used here (and in 3:2) then corresponds to the marital status that earned respectability in the society in which the early church functioned. The terminology was in flux, and within the Christian community at that time it had a meaning more related to the moral life of the individual than to whether he or she had remarried. Therefore the translation “faithful to her husband” (NIV) probably best conveys the intent of the qualification.

The phrase in verse 10, “well known for her good works” has similarities to one of the qualifications for elders in 3:7: “He must also have a good reputation with outsiders.” Both clauses have a word derived from the root martyr-(lit., “witness”: “well known” and “reputation”) and a form of kalos (“good”), though in a different grammatical relationship. As with elders, a widow’s reputation is important for recognition in the church. Her good deeds should be of “all kinds.” Paul states this generality after citing four distinct examples: “bringing up children, showing hospitality, washing the feet of the saints,” and “helping those in trouble.”

The contrast between younger and older widows in verses 11–15 is stronger than one might have expected. It is not merely that younger widows are likely to remarry and therefore not need financial help. They are to be refused rather than be enrolled, because their sensual desires may well come between them and Christ. The verb (katastreniao) contains the idea of luxuriating or giving way to lustful impulses. In Revelation 18:9 the basic form of that verb, streniao (“live in luxury, live sensually”), describes the kings of the earth living in luxury with Babylon. The related noun (strenos) occurs in 18:3, where it means sensuality or luxury. The problem is not in young widows remarrying, since Paul counsels remarriage of young widows in verse 14. It is rather that they allow their impulses to alienate them from Christ, as is indicated by the relationship of the noun Christos to the verb.

Given that perspective, it is not surprising that these young widows will be judged (v. 12). They have “broken their first pledge.” This may mean a pledge that they took when enrolled on the widows’ list, but that could only have been the case before, or in spite of, Paul’s restrictions on younger widows. It could refer to their initial promise to follow Christ, but that is not the usual way of describing conversion. It is difficult to determine with precision what the “first pledge” means, but it is clearly a commitment they have broken.

These are rather sweeping comments on how precarious the situation of young widows was (see below for some moderating considerations). But there is yet a further problem, the tendency of the younger widows to use their freedom to avoid responsibility (v. 13). This does not imply that women are more prone to idleness than men (see 2 Thess. 3:6–15, where it is probably men, not women, who are idle). Naturally the use of spare time to visit friends allows for the possibility of gossip, but is that a greater likelihood for remarried widows?

The preferred alternative (v. 14) is for the younger widows to remarry, not to satisfy their lusts but to assume responsibility for having children and managing their homes. It is worth noting that Paul advocates having children, but he gives no reason why. Perhaps this is to be interpreted on the basis of 2:15. A simple practical reason might be that having children to care for might reduce any tendency to go “about from house to house.” But surely he would not counsel having children for the second reason unless he also believed that having children was desirable in a marriage, and would that be any more reason for a remarried widow than for any other wife?

Paul also counsels the young widows to “manage their homes.” The word for “manage” is oikodespoteo, which, with its cognates, has an interesting history. The verb and related nouns were used in astrology for the ruling planet in a “house.” In the noun form it could be used to describe the father of the family or the master of house, as in Matthew 10:25: “If the head of the house has been called Beelzebub, how much more the members of his household!” Given the commanding role astrology had in ancient times and given the domineering role of Beelzebub in pagan thought, oikodespoteo is a remarkable term to use for the responsibility of the remarried young widow over her household.¹⁹ It indicates that this woman would have a strong management role in her new family.20

The concern lest there be “opportunity for slander” accords with verse 7 (see comments above). The “enemy” could take advantage of a bad situation, and Paul immediately identifies that enemy as “Satan” (v. 15). Since some of the young widows had already “turned away to follow Satan,” we understand why there are such harsh words about judgment in verse 12. Satan can take advantage of human sins and weaknesses (1 Cor. 7:5; 2 Cor. 2:11; Eph. 4:26–27).

Once more, and in conclusion (v. 16), Paul counsels family members to care for widows to prevent additional burden on the church. The person who should help is a believing woman.21 The end of the verse shows Paul’s concern for truly needy widows. If, along the way, he changed the topic from widows in need to widows in an order of service, he has now clearly moved back to his initial concern.22

Bridging Contexts

Contemporary Significance

Specific ways to help. There are several specific ways in which Christians today can help meet the needs of those who are “really widows.”

1. For an important study on the household theme in the Pastoral Letters see David C. Verner, The Household of God, SBLDS 71 (Chico, Calif.: Scholars, 1983), 161–66.

2. B. W. Winter, “Providentia for the Widows of 1 Timothy 5:3–16,” TynB 39 (1988): 83.

3. L. P. Wilkinson, The Roman Experience (Washington, D.C.: Univ. Press of America, 1974), 26.

4. Winter, “Providentia for the Widows,” 85.

5. Bruce J. Malina and Jerome H. Neyrey in The Social World of Luke-Acts: Models for Interpretation, Jerome H. Neyrey, ed. (Peabody, Mass.: Hendrickson, 1991), 44.

6. The NIV “widows who are really in need” paraphrases the Greek “really widows,” losing some of the attention-grabbing impact, but accurately expressing its meaning.

7. Polycarp, Epistle to the Philippians 4.3.

8. Ignatius, To Smyrna 13.1.

10. Apostolic Constitutions 3.7.

11. B. Holmberg, Paul and Power (Philadelphia: Fortress, 1978).

14. Kroeger and Kroeger, I Suffer Not a Woman, 91.

15. One example given by BAGD is military enrollment (412).

16. See his Laws 757d.

17. Majorie Lightman and William Zeisel, “Univira: An Example of Continuity and Change in Roman Society,” Church History 46 (1977): 25–26.

18. Ibid., 30–32.

19. See LSJ, 1204.

20. This text should be kept in mind when assessing the role of the wife in a family.

23. By Robert C. DiGiulio (New York: Free Press, 1989).

24. By Helena Znaniecka Lopata (New York: Elsevier, 1979).

25. By David A. Crenshaw (New York: Continuum, 1990).

26. By Alan Pifer and Lydia Bronte, eds. (New York: W. W. Norton, 1986).

27. Others may be well able to make wise financial decisions and would feel demeaned by too much help.