12:46–50 While Jesus speaks to a crowd in a house, his family arrives. They want to speak to him, but the density of the crowd puts him out of reach. They stay outside, and word passes that “his mother and his brothers stood outside, asking to speak to him” (v. 46). The request seems innocuous. Why, then, does Jesus ignore it? Apparently, Jesus’ family wants him to stop teaching and speak to them at once. They sound insistent, as if they want to control his time and agenda. Do they disrespect his work? Mark and John indicate that they do.

Mark 3:31–35 records the same episode as Matthew 12:46–50, and the accounts are similar. But, just ten verses earlier, Mark records that when an earlier crowd surrounded him, his family “went out to seize him, for they were saying, ‘He is out of his mind’” (Mark 3:21). Similarly, in John 7:1–5, his brothers mocked his powers and fame. John adds, “Not even his brothers believed in him.” This family portrait is the context for Jesus’ question and answer:

“Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.” (Matt. 12:48–50)

First, Jesus does not let his family interrupt him. He does not give the biological family priority over the spiritual family. Whoever does his will, as defined in chapters 5–12, is his family. This statement is wholly consistent with Jesus’ pattern of putting membership in the kingdom and family of God ahead of physical families. In 8:21–22, he said that anyone who put family duties, such as attending to aged parents, ahead of discipleship was spiritually dead. In 10:37 he said, “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me” (cf. Luke 14:26). Love of Christ must supersede every other love. If kingdom and family come in conflict, the kingdom prevails, for spiritual ties are more abiding.

Second, Jesus’ spiritual family is open to all. Whoever does the will of the Father is Jesus’ family. This is not salvation by works. Jesus does not say, “Whoever does the Father’s will enters my family.” But obedience to God, beginning with the call to love and trust him, is the mark of God’s family. This teaching indirectly points to Jesus himself. If doing the will of the Father is the distinguishing sign of Jesus’ family, then he is the one who teaches the Father’s will. And the core of that will is not “Follow these commands” but “Follow me” (Matt. 4:19; 8:22; 9:9; 10:38; 16:24; 19:21; Luke 18:22; John 1:43; 10:27; 12:26; 21:19–22).