The Spiritual Character  of One Who Forgives

17

Paul, a prisoner of Christ Jesus, and Timothy our brother, to Philemon our beloved brother and fellow worker, and to Apphia our sister, and to Archippus our fellow soldier, and to the church in your house: Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. I thank my God always, making mention of you in my prayers, because I hear of your love, and of the faith which you have toward the Lord Jesus, and toward all the saints; and I pray that the fellowship of your faith may become effective through the knowledge of every good thing which is in you for Christ’s sake. For I have come to have much joy and comfort in your love, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you, brother. (1-7)

We live in an ego-centered, selfish society that knows and cares little about forgiveness. We have become so decadent and non-Christian as to see forgiving people as weak, and unforgiving ones as strong. Our culture celebrates and exalts those TV and movie heroes who take vengeance on others. Pop psychologists write books extolling the virtues of blameshifting, unforgiveness, and making those who offend us pay. The result is a society filled with bitterness, vengeance, anger, hate, and hostility. Retaliatory crimes and lawsuits are rampantly common-place as people seek vengeance either outside or inside the bounds of the law. Further, lack of forgiveness is perhaps the leading cause of the breakups in family relationships.

For a Christian, unwillingness to forgive is unthinkable. It is a rebellious, blatant, open act of disobedience to God. We are to forgive others as God has forgiven us (Eph. 4:32; Col. 3:13). Failure to do so will bring at least four unpleasant results. First, failure to forgive will imprison believers in their past. Unforgiveness keeps the pain alive. Unforgiveness keeps the sore open; it never allows the wound to heal. Dwelling on the wrong done feeds anger and resentment and robs one of the joy of living. Forgiveness, on the other hand, opens the prison doors and sets the believer free from the past.

Second, unforgiveness produces bitterness. The longer believers dwell on offenses committed against them, the more bitter they become. Bitterness is not just a sin; it is an infection. The writer of Hebrews warns, “See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled” (Heb. 12:15). A bitter person’s speech is cutting, sarcastic, even slanderous. Bitterness distorts a person’s whole outlook on life, producing violent emotions, intolerance, and thoughts of revenge. It is especially devastating to the marriage relationship. Bitterness shuts off the affection and kindness that should exist between the partners. The root of bitterness and unforgiveness all too often produces the weed of divorce. Forgiveness, on the other hand, replaces bitterness with love, joy, peace, and the other fruits of the Spirit (cf. Gal. 5:22-23).

Third, unforgiveness gives Satan an open door. Paul warns believers in Ephesians 4:26-27, “Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity.” To the Corinthians he wrote, “Whom you forgive anything, I forgive also; for indeed what I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, I did it for your sakes in the presence of Christ, in order that no advantage be taken of us by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his schemes” (2 Cor. 2:10-11). It is no exaggeration to say that most of the ground Satan gains in our lives is due to unforgiveness. (If love fulfills the law toward others [Rom. 13:8], lack of love violates it. Unforgiveness is lack of love.) Forgiveness bars that avenue of demonic attack.

Fourth, unforgiveness hinders fellowship with God. Our Lord solemnly warned, “If you forgive men for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions” (Matt. 6:14-15). As noted in the introduction, that passage speaks not of the completed, past forgiveness of salvation, but of ongoing relational forgiveness between believers and the Father. It is a serious matter nonetheless to know that one cannot be right with God if he is unforgiving of others. Forgiveness restores the believer to the place of maximum blessing from God. It restores the purity and joy of fellowship with God.

The importance of forgiveness is a constant theme of Scripture. There are no less than seventy-five different word pictures about forgiveness in the Bible. They help us grasp the importance, the nature, and the effects of forgiveness.

• To forgive is to turn the key, open the cell door, and let the prisoner walk free.

• To forgive is to write in large letters across a debt, “Nothing owed.”

• To forgive is to pound the gavel in a courtroom and declare, “Not guilty!”

• To forgive is to shoot an arrow so high and so far that it can never be found again.

• To forgive is to bundle up all the garbage and trash and dispose of it, leaving the house clean and fresh.

• To forgive is to loose the moorings of a ship and release it to the open sea.

• To forgive is to grant a full pardon to a condemned criminal.

• To forgive is to relax a stranglehold on a wrestling opponent.

• To forgive is to sandblast a wall of graffiti, leaving it looking like new.

• To forgive is to smash a clay pot into a thousand pieces so it can never be pieced together again. (John Nieder and Thomas Thompson, Forgive and Love Again [Eugene, Oreg.: Harvest House, 1991], p. 48)

Forgiveness is so important that the Holy Spirit devoted an entire book of the Bible to it. In the brief book of Philemon, the spiritual duty to forgive is emphasized, but not in principle, parable, or word picture. Through a real life situation involving two people dear to him, Paul teaches the importance of forgiving others. Following the introduction in verses 1-3, Paul describes the spiritual character of one who forgives in verses 4-7. Such a person has a concern for the Lord, a concern for people, a concern for fellowship, a concern for knowledge, a concern for glory, and a concern to be a blessing.

INTRODUCTION

Paul, a prisoner of Christ Jesus, and Timothy our brother, to Philemon our beloved brother and fellow worker, and to Apphia our sister, and to Archippus our fellow soldier, and to the church in your house: Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. (1-3)

Paul starts the letter with his name, following the customary practice in the ancient world. Philemon’s heart must have skipped a beat as soon as he saw who the letter was from. Paul was the noble apostle largely responsible for the spread of Christianity throughout the Greco-Roman world. He was also the one who had led Philemon to Christ (v. 19). So, from the view of both his vast influence and his personal touch in Philemon’s life, the name would compel Philemon to read on eagerly. What a privilege—to have a letter from Paul, an inspired letter. Only Timothy and Titus were also so privileged.

Paul describes himself as a prisoner of Christ Jesus. He does not begin any of his other letters with that description. Paul usually begins by stressing his apostleship and thus emphasizing his authority. That is true even of the pastoral epistles. Although they, like Philemon, were addressed to individuals, they dealt with issues relating to the church, and so carried a tone of authority. In this letter, however, Paul chooses not to use his authority (cf. w. 8-9), but rather to appeal gently and singularly to a friend.

Although imprisoned by Rome, Paul viewed himself as a prisoner of Christ Jesus (cf. Eph. 3:1; 4:1; 6:19-20; Phil. 1:13; Col. 4:3). It was for the sake of Christ and through the will of Christ that he was a prisoner. By mentioning his imprisonment, Paul makes a subtle appeal to Philemon. He sets up his case by saying in effect, “If I can face the harder task of being in prison, can you not do the easier one that I’m going to ask of you?” Philemon knew all that Paul had suffered for the cause of Christ. That knowledge was bound to have an effect on his willingness to do what Paul asked of him.

Timothy was not the coauthor of Philemon, but was with Paul when he wrote the letter. Paul describes him as our brother because Philemon knew him. Timothy had been with Paul in Ephesus, where Philemon probably met him. Unlike the rest of his companions, Paul mentions Timothy at the beginning of the letter. The frequent mention of Timothy at the beginning of his letters (cf. 2 Cor. 1:1; Phil. 1:1; Col. 1:1; 1 Thess. 1:1; 2 Thess. 1:1) identifies him more closely with Paul in ministry. Paul knew that someday he would even pass the baton of spiritual leadership to him. He wanted Timothy to be recognized as a leader and his heir apparent.

As noted in the introduction, Philemon was a wealthy member of the Colossian church. The Colossian church met in his house, and he was active in Christian service. Agapōtos (beloved) is a familiar description, used by Paul of both individuals and groups (cf. Rom. 1:7; 16:5, 8-9, 12; 1 Cor. 10:14; Phil. 2:12). Fellow worker is from sunergos, a term used by Paul for those who had worked alongside him in the cause of Christ (cf. Rom. 16:3; 2 Cor. 8:23; Phil. 2:25; Col. 4:11). Because Paul had never visited Colossae (Col. 2:1), their friendship probably developed during Paul’s ministry in Ephesus. In this letter, Paul puts that friendship on the line for the sake of the spiritual principle of forgiveness and reconciling Philemon and Onesimus.

The letter is also addressed to Apphia, no doubt Philemon’s wife, and Archippus, who was most likely their son. Paul describes Archippus as a fellow soldier (cf. 2 Tim. 2:3), which shows he was also actively involved in the ministry (cf. Col. 4:17). He may have served both the Laodicean and Colossian churches.

Also named in the address is the church that met in Philemon’s house. First-century churches met in homes, church buildings being unknown until the third century. The oldest known church was found at Dura Europos, on the bank of the Euphrates River in the Syrian desert. It dates from the first half of the third century, and had been made by joining two rooms of a house and building a platform (E. M. Blaiklock, “Dura Europos,” in The New International Dictionary of Biblical Archaeology, ed. E. M. Blaiklock and R. K. Harrison [Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1983], p. 165). Although Philemon was a private letter, Paul wanted it read to the church. They would then understand the importance of forgiveness and could hold Philemon accountable.

Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ is Paul’s standard greeting. It appears in all thirteen of his epistles (cf. Rom. 1:7; 1 Cor. 1:3; 2 Cor. 1:2; Gal. 1:3; Eph. 1:2; Phil. 1:2; Col. 1:2; 1 Thess. 1:1; 2 Thess. 1:2; 1 Tim. 1:2; 2 Tim. 1:2; Titus 1:4). Grace is the means of salvation, peace its result. The linking of God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ as joint sources of grace and peace would be blasphemous if Jesus were a mere man or angel. That phrase is to be understood as an affirmation of the deity of Christ, His equality with God.

A CONCERN FOR THE LORD

I thank my God always, making mention of you in my prayers, because I hear of … the faith which you have toward the Lord Jesus, (4-5a)

Paul begins the main body of his letter by praising Philemon. It was not Paul’s intent to flatter him. Rather, the apostle knew that legitimate praise feeds virtue and provides an antidote for sin. The virtuous character of Philemon becomes the foundation upon which Paul bases his appeal for him to forgive Onesimus.

Paul knew firsthand of Philemon’s character, having been God’s chosen tool to bring him to Christ and having worked with him. Epaphras, Philemon’s pastor at Colossae, was with Paul in Rome (v. 23). He, too, could testify about Philemon, as could Onesimus. That combined testimony to Philemon caused Paul to say to him, I thank my God always, making mention of you in my prayers. Paul was always able to give thanks to God when he prayed for Philemon; he knew nothing negative about him. The book of Philemon bears that out. Paul does not correct Philemon, and there is no suggestion that anything was amiss in his life. Everything Paul heard about Philemon was good. There is no threatening language that might assume Paul felt forgiving Onesimus would be difficult for Philemon, but rather a spirit that expected he would.

The first characteristic of one who forgives is a concern for the Lord. Paul had heard of the faith which Philemon had toward the Lord Jesus. As a genuine believer, Philemon was concerned about the Lord and desired to please Him. Because the Lord had forgiven him, Philemon could forgive others. Conviction from the indwelling Holy Spirit and from the Word of God would also provide the impetus for Philemon to do what was right. The present tense of echō (you have) demonstrates the continuous nature of Philemon’s concern for the Lord. His unwavering faith gave Paul confidence in his willingness to forgive.

Christians forgive because they are reconciled to Jesus Christ. Unbelievers do not have that capacity. Paul points that out in Romans 3:10-16:

Those controlled by bitterness will find it difficult to forgive.

A CONCERN FOR PEOPLE

because I hear of your love … toward all the saints; (5b)

This verse exhibits a chiastic construction in the Greek text. The first part of the verse, love, goes with the last phrase, toward all the saints.

Agapō (love) is the love of will and choice, of self-sacrifice and humility. Love is a fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22) and a manifestation of genuine saving faith (Gal. 5:6; 1 John 3:14). Believers should not need to be taught this love (1 Thess. 4:9) because its source is already in them in the indwelling Holy Spirit (Rom. 5:5).

Because Philemon’s faith was real, it manifested itself in true biblical love. That love expressed itself in a concern for people. Philemon’s concern for people gave him the ability to forgive.

A CONCERN FOR FELLOWSHIP

and I pray that the fellowship of your faith may become effective (6a)

Real faith and love will inevitably result in a concern for fellowship. There is no place in the Body of Christ for an individualism that does not care about others. That concern for fellowship was also motivation for Philemon to forgive Onesimus. Failing to do so would lead to a rift in the fellowship since Onesimus was now also a believer. By forgiving Onesimus, Philemon would maintain the harmony, peace, and unity of the Colossian church.

Koinōnia (fellowship) is difficult to render precisely in English. It is usually translated “fellowship,” but it means much more than merely enjoying each other’s company. It refers to a mutual sharing of all life, and could be translated “belonging.” Believers belong to each other in a mutual partnership, produced by their faith in Christ. By forgiving him, Philemon would acknowledge that he belonged to Onesimus as a brother in Christ. Effective translates energēs, which literally means “powerful.” Such an act of forgiveness would send a powerful message to the church about the importance of fellowship, even among slaves and masters (cf. Gal. 3:28). Forgiving a fellow believer, no matter what their offense, makes a strong statement of concern for fellowship.

A CONCERN FOR KNOWLEDGE

through the knowledge of every good thing which is in you (6b)

Christians have been blessed “with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ” (Eph. 1:3). They have a new nature within them (2 Cor. 5:17). How was Philemon to discover every good thing which was in him? Epignōsis (knowledge) refers to deep, rich, full, experiential knowledge. It is the knowledge that comes through personal acquaintance with the truth. Philemon could read of forgiveness, or hear a sermon about it. But until he forgave, he could have no experiential knowledge of it. By forgiving Onesimus, Philemon would experience that good thing in him known as forgiveness. By walking in obedience to God’s will, believers experience the good things God has placed within them.

There is a vast difference between reading a book on skiing and actually skiing. There is a certain flat, one-dimensional knowledge to be gained from a book, but it cannot compare to experiencing the exhilaration of a downhill run. The same thing is true in the spiritual realm. It is thrilling to grasp a truth from Scripture intellectually. But it is far more exciting to live that truth out in practice. Practicing the truths of Scripture leads to the epignōsis that brings spiritual maturity (cf. Eph. 4:12-13). It is wonderful to understand what it means to trust God, but more wonderful to experience His power in the times when we trusted Him with no strength of our own.

Paul is confident that Philemon will want to experience a true knowledge of forgiveness by forgiving Onesimus. He gives both Philemon and us a gentle reminder of the importance of a concern for knowledge.

A CONCERN FOR GLORY

for Christ’s sake. (6c)

The Christian life, with all its joys, duties, and responsibilities, is for Christ’s sake. The Greek text literally reads, “unto Christ.” The goal of everything believers do should be the glory of Christ (cf. 1 Cor. 10:31). Someone devoted to Christ’s glory would certainly forgive another, as an unforgiving spirit does not glorify Christ. Paul was confident that Philemon would forgive Onesimus because he knew of Philemon’s great concern to glorify Christ.

A CONCERN TO BE A BLESSING

For I have come to have much joy and comfort in your love, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you, brother. (7)

Philemon had a reputation for love, a fact that brought Paul much joy and comfort. Through Philemon, the hearts of the saints had been refreshed. Hearts translates splanchna, which literally means “bowels.” It refers to the seat of the feelings. People struggling, suffering, and hurting emotionally, had been refreshed by Philemon. Refreshed is from anapauō, a military term that speaks of an army resting from a march. Philemon brought troubled people rest and renewal; he was a peacemaker.

Philemon, as far as we know, was not an elder, deacon, or teacher in the church. Most likely, he was a businessman. But he was a man of instinctive kindness, a source of blessing to everyone. That kind of person, Paul knew, could be counted on to forgive.

The following poem, entitled “The Toys,” by Coventry Patmore, a nineteenth-century English poet (cited in Masterpieces of Religious Verse, ed. James Dalton Morrison [New York: Harper & Bros., 1948], p. 342), is a reminder of the simple qualities of forgiveness:

If God can so tenderly forgive us, can we not, like Philemon, have the character that forgives others?