The Motives of  One Who Forgives

19

I, Paul, am writing this with my own hand, I will repay it (lest I should mention to you that you owe to me even your own self as well). Yes, brother, let me benefit from you in the Lord; refresh my heart in Christ. Having confidence in your obedience, I write to you, since I know that you will do even more than what I say. And at the same time also prepare me a lodging; for I hope that through your prayers I shall be given to you. Epaphras, my fellow prisoner in Christ Jesus, greets you, as do Mark, Aristarchus, Demas, Luke, my fellow workers. The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. (19-25)

Sir Thomas More, Lord Chancellor of England under Henry VIII, spoke the following words to the judges who had unjustly condemned him to death: “As the blessed apostle St. Paul … consented to the death of St. Stephen, and kept their clothes that stoned him to death, and yet be they now both twain holy saints in Heaven, and shall continue there friends for ever, so I verily trust, and shall therefore right heartily pray, that though your Lordships have now here in earth been judges to my condemnation, we may yet hereafter in Heaven merrily all meet together, to our everlasting salvation” (cited in R. W. Chambers, Thomas More [London: Bedford Historical Series, 1938], p. 342). More’s statement exhibits the beauty of forgiveness. So also do the words of Stephen, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them!” (Acts 7:60), and of our Lord, “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34).

As he closes his letter to Philemon, Paul gives insight into the motives for forgiveness. His gracious but pregnant words are meant to be the final push to move the heart of Philemon to forgive Onesimus. Each of his remarks contains the embryo of a truth that should motivate us to forgive as well. In this passage, we can discern six motives for forgiving others: the recognition of an unpayable debt, the possibility of being a blessing, the necessity of obedience, the acknowledgment of accountability, the importance of maintaining fellowship, and the requirement of grace.

THE RECOGNITION OF AN UNPAYABLE DEBT

I, Paul, am writing this with my own hand, I will repay it (lest I should mention to you that you owe to me even your own self as well). (19)

It was Paul’s custom to dictate his letters to an amanuensis. In many of his letters, however, he wrote a closing greeting with his own hand (cf. Col. 4:18; 2 Thess. 3:17). That is not unlike a businessman dictating a letter and then signing it and adding a postscript in his own handwriting. Verses 19-25, if not the whole letter, are a handwritten note from Paul himself.

In verse 18, Paul offered to make good Onesimus’s debt. As noted earlier, it is likely that Onesimus stole property or money from Philemon when he fled. Paul knew that restitution was an essential part of forgiveness, and that Onesimus did not have the means to repay Philemon. By offering in his own writing to repay Onesimus’s debt, Paul is in effect personally signing an I.O.U. Although he was in prison, Paul probably had the financial resources to pay Onesimus’s debt (cf. Phil. 4:14-18).

Then, in a parenthetical statement, Paul reminds Philemon, you owe to me even your own self as well. Paul’s plan is to put Onesimus’s debt on his account and then cancel it because Philemon owes Paul an even greater debt. Onesimus owes Philemon a material debt; Philemon owes Paul a spiritual debt. Onesimus owes Philemon a temporal debt; Philemon owes Paul an eternal one. Paul had shared the gospel with him and led him to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. That is a debt Philemon could never repay.

That principle applies to us as well. When someone offends us and incurs a debt, we should remember that we owe debts to others. All of us have people in our lives who have benefited us spiritually in ways we could never repay. We are in debt to them.

I am indebted to many people. I am in debt to my godly parents for leading me to Christ, teaching me the Scriptures, and encouraging me to go into the ministry. I owe them a debt for supporting me, supplying my needs, and educating me. I am in debt to them for disciplining me and holding me spiritually accountable for my behavior while growing up.

I am in debt to my wife for her friendship, love, support, wisdom and input into my life. I owe my children a debt for their kindness, concern, and care for me, and for responding to the things I have asked of them.

I am in debt to the many friends who have ministered to me. I am in debt to my teachers in college and seminary, and to the many men whose books have instructed me. I owe a debt to my co-workers and co-pastors, who share the ministry with me. I am indebted to my congregation for their support, encouragement, and fellowship.

We who owe so much to so many should be quick to forgive others who owe us a debt. Having received so many unpayable spiritual riches from so many who ask nothing in return, can I not forgive a temporal debt?

THE POSSIBILITY OF BEING A BLESSING

Yes, brother, let me benefit from you in the Lord; refresh my heart in Christ. (20)

Me and my are emphatic in the Greek text. Philemon has been a blessing to many people (cf. v. 7). Paul now asks to receive that blessing. Benefit is from oninēmi, the verb from which the name Onesimus derives. Paul is probably making another word play on his name (cf. v. 11). By forgiving Onesimus, Philemon would benefit Paul in the Lord by bringing him joy because of his example of obedience and love to the church. Paul urged the Philippians to “make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose” (Phil. 2:2). By forgiving Onesimus, Philemon would maintain the unity in the Colossian fellowship, and that would bring great joy to Paul. It would refresh his heart in Christ; he would be spiritually blessed. Failing to forgive Onesimus would sadden the heart of the apostle, because he dearly loved both men. It would also mar the testimony of the Colossian church before the watching world. Believers should be motivated to forgive by the knowledge that forgiveness brings joy and blessing to other believers.

THE NECESSITY OF OBEDIENCE

Having confidence in your obedience, I write to you, since I know that you will do even more than what I say. (21)

Paul had confidence in Philemon’s obedience to Christ. He did not doubt Philemon’s willingness to obey him (cf. v. 8), but here reminds him of the necessity of obeying Christ. Knowing Philemon’s godly character (cf. w. 4-7), Paul was confident of his response.

As already noted, we can assume Philemon was well instructed in the theology of forgiveness. He knew the principle taught in Matthew 6, that the believer’s relational forgiveness from God depends on his willingness to forgive others. He knew that our Lord had taught that there must be no limits to forgiveness (Matt. 18:21-22; Luke 17:3-4). He no doubt was familiar with Paul’s teaching on forgiveness (cf. 2 Cor. 2:7; Eph. 4:32; Col. 3:13). Because Philemon was aware of the commands to forgive, Paul does not repeat them.

Some have found in Paul’s words I know that you will do even more than what I say a call for Onesimus’s emancipation. Such an assumption is unwarranted (cf. v. 16). There are several other possibilities. Paul may be calling upon Philemon to welcome Onesimus back not grudgingly, but with open arms (cf. Luke 15:22-24). He may also be requesting Philemon to permit Onesimus to minister alongside him, as well as to perform menial service. Paul may also be urging Philemon to forgive others who have wronged him.

Voluntarily, not because of law, nor out of fear, but because of love, Philemon is to obey the God who commanded him to forgive.

THE ACKNOWLEDGMENT OF ACCOUNTABILITY

And at the same time also prepare me a lodging; for I hope that through your prayers I shall be given to you. (22)

Because he knew the case against him was very weak, Paul expected to be released from this first imprisonment (cf. Phil. 2:23-24). He now believes his release to be imminent, perhaps because a date for his hearing before the imperial court had been set. Accordingly, he asks Philemon to prepare me a lodging where he can stay when he visits Colossae. Some years earlier, Paul had written to the Romans of his desire to go to Spain (Rom. 15:24, 28). In the intervening years, however, his plans had changed. He now intended to revisit the churches to the east before heading west.

Of all Paul’s appeals to Philemon, this is the least subtle. He does not threaten Philemon, as he did the Corinthians (cf. 1 Cor. 4:21). Nevertheless, “there is a gentle compulsion in this mention of a personal visit to Colossae. The Apostle would thus be able to see for himself that Philemon had not disappointed his expectations” (J. B. Lightfoot, St. Paul’s Epistles to the Colossians and to Philemon [1879; reprint, Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1959], p. 345).

Paul then mentions the means by which his release will be effected. He writes to Philemon, I hope that through your prayers I shall be given to you. Prayers are the nerves that move the muscles of omnipotence. Prayer is not an exercise in futility because God’s will will be done in any case; prayer is the means by which God’s will is carried out. “The effective prayer of a righteous man,” wrote James, “can accomplish much” (James 5:16). Paul understood that the sovereignty of God works its purposes through prayer.

Paul’s request would certainly affect Philemon’s treatment of Onesimus. Philemon could hardly pray for God to bring Paul to Colossae if he had not forgiven Onesimus. Yet if he fails to pray for Paul’s release, Paul might remain in prison. The apostle deftly maneuvers Philemon into a corner from which he can extricate himself only by forgiving Onesimus. That is spiritual accountability at work.

All believers are to be accountable to those over them in the Lord. Hebrews 13:17 says, “Obey your leaders, and submit to them; for they keep watch over your souls, as those who will give an account.” Because leaders are responsible for watching over those in their charge, they have the right to expect accountability from them. Acknowledgment of that accountability is a powerful motive for forgiveness.

THE IMPORTANCE OF MAINTAINING FELLOWSHIP

Epaphras, my fellow prisoner in Christ Jesus, greets you, as do Mark, Aristarchus, Demas, Luke, my fellow workers. (23-24)

The Christian life is not lived in a vacuum. Believers do not act alone, independent of the fellowship. By sending greetings from five men known to him, Paul reminds Philemon of his accountability to all of them. Failing to forgive Onesimus would disappoint their high expectations of him and bring him under their discipline.

These five are also mentioned in Colossians 4:10-14. Tychicus, who is mentioned in Colossians, is not mentioned here. As the bearer of the letters to Philemon and to the Colossians, he was able to deliver his own greetings. That Jesus Justus was mentioned in Colossians but not here implies he was unknown to Philemon. He may have been a native of Rome.

Epaphras was probably converted under the ministry of Paul. He was most likely the founder of the churches at Colossae and its neighboring cities of Laodicea and Hierapolis. He was a native of Colossae (Col. 4:12), and hence well known to Philemon. He was probably the pastor of the church that met in Philemon’s home. He is described in Colossians 1:7 as “our beloved fellow bond-servant, who is a faithful servant of Christ on our behalf.” From Colossians 4:12-13 we learn that he was a man devoted to prayer, with a deep pastoral concern for his people. Paul describes him as my fellow prisoner in Christ Jesus. It is not known whether he, too, was a prisoner, or whether he simply identified closely with Paul in the apostle’s imprisonment.

Mark was John Mark, the cousin of Barnabas and author of the gospel that bears his name. His defection during the first missionary journey (Acts 13:13) led to a falling out between Paul and Barnabas (Acts 15:36-39). By now, though, Mark was a changed man. Through the discipline imposed on him by Paul, and through the tutelage of Peter (cf. 1 Pet. 5:13) and Barnabas, he had come to spiritual maturity. So valuable had he become to Paul that the apostle asked for him shortly before his death (2 Tim. 4:11).

Aristarchus was a Jewish believer (Col. 4:11), a native of Thessalonica (Acts 20:4; 27:2). He had a long association with Paul, and had been through some rough times with him. He was with Paul during the riot at Ephesus (Acts 19:29), and on the ill-fated sea voyage to Rome that ended in shipwreck (Acts 27:4). He was Paul’s beloved fellow-worker, and was with him in his imprisonment (Col. 4:10). According to tradition, he was martyred in Rome during the persecutions under Nero.

Not much is known of Demas, but what we do know is sad. In 2 Timothy 4:10 Paul writes of him, “Demas, having loved this present world, has deserted me.” He most likely was an apostate, since John wrote, “If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him” (1 John 2:15). Here, though, he was still Paul’s fellow-worker.

Luke, “the beloved physician” (Col. 4:14), was a Gentile Christian doctor and the author of the third gospel. He was a frequent traveling companion of Paul, and no doubt he helped care for the apostle’s frequent physical ailments. He was a faithful and loyal friend to Paul, and he alone was with him in his final days (2 Tim. 4:11).

These five men were well known to Philemon. He had the opportunity to set a good example for them by forgiving Onesimus. On the other hand, failing to forgive would fracture the bond of fellowship Philemon enjoyed with them.

THE REQUIREMENT OF GRACE

The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. (25)

By now Philemon was undoubtedly convicted of his need to forgive Onesimus. In case he wondered where he would find the strength to do so, Paul adds these final words. This familiar benediction is really a prayer that Philemon, his household, and the Colossian assembly would receive the grace needed to forgive Onesimus.

Paul realizes that what he asks is not possible in the flesh, because the flesh seeks vengeance. Nor is it possible through the law, because the law demands justice. Although Philemon could not forgive Onesimus in his own strength, through the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, working with his spirit, he could. Paul’s prayer is that Philemon would have the same grace that allowed Christ to forgive.

CONCLUSION

The book of Philemon ends here, but not the story. How did things turn out? No doubt Philemon forgave Onesimus. It is extremely unlikely that the book would have found its way into the New Testament canon if he had not. If Philemon had not forgiven Onesimus, including the book in the canon would have left a false impression for all history. If he were not the godly, virtuous man Paul describes in this letter, there would have been no purpose in the Holy Spirit’s adding it to the New Testament. Further, as a part of the canon, this book would have circulated widely in the early church. If Philemon had not forgiven Onesimus, it is inconceivable that someone would not have objected to including it in the canon. (This circulation would also confirm its authenticity.)

As to the further histories of Paul and Onesimus, Paul was released from prison, as he anticipated (cf. v. 22), and traveled extensively. One of his trips was no doubt to Colossae, where he saw for himself how Philemon had treated Onesimus.

Half a century later the church Father Ignatius, in Smyrna on his way to martyrdom in Rome, wrote a letter to the Ephesian church. In that letter he writes, “I received your large congregation in the person of Onesimus, your bishop [pastor] in this world, a man whose love is beyond words” (cited in Cyril C. Richardson, ed., Early Christian Fathers [New York: Macmillan, 1978], p. 88). Could this be the same man? Perhaps not, because Onesimus would have had to be very old. But if so, it would be a fitting conclusion to one of the great stories of the apostolic age.

There is a story in our own century that also illustrates the power of forgiveness. It begins at 7:55 A.M. on Sunday, December 7, 1941. In a daring surprise air raid, the Japanese attacked the United States naval base at Pearl Harbor, Hawaii. In less than two hours, 2,403 American soldiers, sailors, and civilians were killed, and another 1,178 wounded. Aircraft losses totalled 188 planes, and much of the United States Pacific Fleet was destroyed or damaged.

The raid was led by a brilliant thirty-nine year old Japanese Navy pilot named Mitsuo Fuchida, whose idol was Adolf Hitler. Although his plane was hit several times by ground fire, he survived the raid. The attack on Pearl Harbor led to the United States’s entry into World War II, and ultimately to the devastation of the Japanese homeland by American conventional and atomic bombs.

After the war, Fuchida was haunted by memories of all the death he had witnessed. In an attempt to find solace, he took up farming near Osaka. His thoughts turned more and more to the problem of peace, and he decided to write a book on the subject. In his book, which he intended to call No More Pearl Harbors, he would urge the world to pursue peace. Fuchida struggled in vain, however, to find a principle upon which peace could be based. His story is picked up by Donald A. Rosenberger, an American naval yeoman who survived the Pearl Harbor attack. He writes,

Such a statement might shock a person from any culture, but it was incomprehensible to the Japanese. In their society, no offense could be greater than the murder of one’s parents. Peggy tried to explain her motives. She said her parents had been missionaries in the Philippines. When the Japanese invaded the islands, her parents escaped to the mountains in North Luzon for safety. In due time, however, they were discovered. The Japanese charged them with being spies and told them they were to be put to death. They earnestly denied that they were spies, but the Japanese would not be convinced, and they were executed.

By the time Fuchida finished reading Luke, he had received the Lord Jesus Christ. He did end up writing his book and entitled it From Pearl Harbor to Golgotha. His life verse, which he signed under his every signature, was Luke 23:34: “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”

Forgiveness has a tremendous power to affect the world. God knew it, Paul knew it, and Philemon needed to know it. The Holy Spirit knew that all men and women needed to know it, and that’s why this wonderful little letter was included in Scripture. May we take its message to heart.