Original Meaning
A SERIES OF snapshot pictures of meals, home schooling, and seduction present the would-be servant of the king with a guide to resisting temptation through identification with the parents’ teaching. Repetition of the key words “heart” (leb, 23:7, 12, 15, 17, 19, 26, 33, 34 [lit., “heart of the sea”]) and “eye” (ʿayin, 23:5, 6, 26, 29, 31, 33) urge the young leader to take care what each takes in. Warnings, prohibitions, and depictions of drinking and eating together urge this young person to exercise discipline over desire. The organization of the chapter draws together common themes and images.
Deceptive Delicacies and Fleeting Riches (23:1–8)
Do not crave the ruler’s delicacies (23:1–3)
Do not weary yourself with riches (23:4–5)
Do not crave the stingy person’s delicacies (23:6–8)
Teaching and Traditions (23:9–14)
Do not speak to fools or move the boundary stone (23:9–11)
Do not withhold discipline (23:12–14)
Signs of Wisdom That Bring Parents Joy (23:15–21)
Be wise, fear Yahweh (23:15–18)
Be wise, avoid drunkards and gluttons (23:19–21)
The Seductions of Sex and Wine (23:22–35)
My son, give your heart to me, not the harlot (23:22–28)
Do not gaze at wine (23:29–35)
Deceptive Delicacies and Fleeting Riches (23:1–8)
TWO VIGNETTES ABOUT a table of delicacies frame a warning about the pursuit of riches.
23:1–3. The mention of a ruler in verse 1 links this series of sayings with previous teachings on service (cf. 22:21, 29), and the double mention of “delicacies” in verses 3 and 6 suggests that verses 1–8 are interrelated as well. The juxtaposition points out the contrast between skilled work that serves and selfish gluttony.
In verses 1–3 it is the ruler who “serves” a meal, yet that ruler is still in charge—an aspect of the situation that the guest is to “note well.”1 The NIV note indicates that the line may be translated “who [not ‘what’] is before you” since the relative pronoun ʾašer is ambiguous. The double meaning can encompass the whole situation, including both food and host. Putting a knife to the throat is not a threat of death but rather holding a knife to one’s desire, for the word nepeš can mean “throat” or “appetite.”2 The “delicacies” uses the same word for the savory food Jacob cooked to deceive his father (Gen. 27:17, 31); certainly this “food is deceptive,” for it is (lit.) the “bread of lies.”
Some think that the host is testing the guest, looking for signs of discipline and self-control and thus making the offer of hospitality insincere (cf. 23:6–8).3 Certainly a ruler would look for someone who is not ruled by appetite (cf. 23:20–21), for such a person will show integrity and diligence in work. But is the host’s intention all that is false about these delicacies? It is also true that we can allow “delicacies” and the status they bring to cloud our judgment, tempting us to make them the goal of life instead of faithfulness and love. Therefore, if the delicacies are a symbol for desire, ambition, and even pride, is this ruler deceptive or has he acquired a wise perspective on riches? Such a wise person would affirm the teaching of the sayings that follow.
23:4–5. These two verses on riches develop the theme of desire and deception, so the connection with the ruler’s table in 23:1–3 is clear. A wordplay on the Hebrew root for “fly” (‘wp) in the first and last lines of verse 5 urges readers not to let their eyes fly to riches, because as soon as the eyes land on them, they also will sprout wings and fly. The image seems to say, “Let your eyes stay put on that which lasts instead of flying around to fleeting riches.”4 Like the “bread of lies,” riches are also deceptive (23:3); therefore one should not become weary in their pursuit but have the “wisdom” (root byn, as in “note well” in 23:1) to know when to stop or “show restraint” (cf. 23:2).
23:6–8. Framing the instruction on riches is another vignette about sitting down to eat, but this time the host’s character is clearly stated. He is (lit.) “bad of eye” (NIV “stingy”), in contrast to the generous person with a good eye (cf. 22:9; 28:22). Like the ruler of 23:1, he also has a table of deceptive delicacies (cf. 23:3), for he says, “Eat and drink,” but does not mean it. Perhaps this is a grudging host who sees an unexpected guest as an imposition instead of a chance to show hospitality, halfheartedly offering the welcome that was so important to ancient oriental culture.5 Therefore, the teacher advises not moderation but total avoidance: “Do not eat” (23:6). People usually vomit from eating too much, but in this case even a little of this food will not stay down, so everything is lost—the meal and the compliments.6
Like chasing riches that fly away (23:4–5), craving these delicacies only leads to loss and emptiness. The “compliments” are (lit.) the “pleasing [words]” of 22:18, which the wise student stores on the advice of the teacher. Here, however, they are put to a wrong purpose, namely, flattery for greedy gain instead of wise servanthood. Together, the three teachings of 23:1–8 make it clear that meals are about a lot more than food. Usually a meal is a sign of hospitality and friendship to all who come by; yet there are other meals where either guest or host is tested, where motives other than friendship are present. Just as Woman Wisdom offered a banquet of life and Woman Folly a meal of death (9:1–18), so here food and appetite are used as metaphors for the attitude one brings to riches and the kind of “teaching” one desires.
Teaching and Traditions (23:9–14)
THREE SEEMINGLY UNRELATED prohibitions treat the topic of folly, the first and last offering different perspectives on teaching. Sometimes words are wasted on fools and cheats, but stern discipline can be effective.
23:9–11. Two prohibitions warn against unwise word and deed. A number of sayings in Proverbs caution against speaking wisdom to fools, who will reject it (9:7–8; 26:4–5), and the theme of wasted words connects the saying in 23:9 with the one before. Just as one should take care in speaking at the table, so one should take care when speaking to a fool who will not listen to instruction (contrast 22:17).
The teaching on the ancient boundary stone (23:10; cf. 22:28) does not mention the forefathers who set it up, only the fatherless who have no one to speak for their rights. To encroach on their land by moving a boundary marker is to disturb a family inheritance. Yet they have a strong “Defender,” a kinsman redeemer (goʾel),7 who will take up their case (rib); the rib is a controversy or wrong that must be set right. The fatherless do have kin after all, just as the poor have a defender in Yahweh (cf. 22:22–23; 15:25). Systems of law were created to protect the poor and defenseless; the legal terminology suggests that anyone who misuses the system to abuse them will have it used against himself instead.
23:12–14. A renewed call to attention repeats the words “heart” and “ears” from 22:17, this time with a call to “apply” oneself to instruction and knowledge. The word for “instruction” (musar) is translated as “discipline” in 23:13, for both verbal teaching and the correction of the rod are considered instruction. The first use directs the young student (naʿar [NIV “child”] denotes a young man) in the right way, the second steers the student from the wrong way.8
As we have said about previous references to the rod, the teaching of verses 13–14 are not an endorsement of corporal punishment as much as a call to the responsibility of teaching and correcting. To “punish” or strike in this way is (lit.) to “deliver his soul from šeʾol,” as the NIV text note indicates (cf. 1:12; 7:27; 9:18; 15:24); such is the fate of those who fall in with violent men or consort with foolish women. Whereas earlier in Proverbs, the young person was warned to avoid such people, now the student must become a teacher who also warns others (cf. 23:26–28). Those who are urged to receive instruction (3:11) must also pass it on. As the famous proverb says, “Those who teach learn twice.”
Signs of Wisdom That Bring Parents Joy (23:15–21)
PARENTS EXPERIENCE JOY when their offspring choose their wisdom over the influence of drunkards and gluttons.
23:15–18. Like the group of sayings in 23:12–14, admonition follows an address, here once again the typical “my son.” Two conditional sayings work individually and as a pair in verses 15 and 16. The repetition of “heart” unites the first two lines around the theme of gladness (cf. 10:1): “If your heart is wise, then my heart will be glad.” Gladness continues into verse 16, where the teacher’s whole “inmost being” rejoices at this meeting of wise heart and upright speech.
The second line of verse 17 and the first line of 18 begin with the same phrase (ki ʾim), linking zeal for “fear of the LORD” with “future hope” (cf. 24:19–20; Ps. 37; 73).9 Wisdom first looks to Yahweh, then toward the prosperity of others with improved vision. “Envy” and “zeal” are both derived from the same word (qanah) for an intense feeling of love and desire. Because this emotion is often expressed as jealousy, we can speak of being jealous of other persons (Prov. 24:1, 19) or jealous for God (23:17). This explicit mention of Yahweh comes near the middle of the “sayings of the wise,” which place a pair of Yahweh proverbs near the beginning and the end.
23:19–21. The theme of keeping the heart continues from verses 15–18. To listen and receive teaching is to be wise, say these parents (cf. 23:15), to keep the heart on the “right” (yašar, “straight”) path.10 The negative examples may have been inspired by Deuteronomy 21:20: “They shall say to the elders, ‘This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a profligate and a drunkard.’ ” The warning combines fears of gluttony and laziness; the “drowsiness” may come from the wine or simply from love of sleep. Like the table scenes of Proverbs 23:1–11, this teaching calls for restraint when encountering food and drink that fail to nourish or satisfy, as well as independent thinking in the face of peer pressure.
The Seductions of Sex and Wine (23:22–35)
THE SEDUCTIONS OF illicit sex and overindulgence in wine are juxtaposed to point up the traps and destruction brought on by each.
23:22–25. Having warned the young learner about negative influences in 23:17–21, the parental teachers again speak of gladness at their son’s wise choices (23:25; cf. 23:15–16). The first and last lines of this section end with the Hebrew phrase “gave you life/birth,” once for father (23:22) and once for mother (23:25). A charge to receive a parent’s counsel in adulthood is implied in “do not despise your mother when she is old” (23:22); certainly the grown-up Lemuel received (or at least remembered) his mother’s teaching (31:1–9).
In the same way, this young man is told to buy truth and not sell it, treasuring it for a long, long time. He is to do the same with “wisdom” (cf. 23:15, 19, 24), “discipline” (musar, cf. 23:13–14), and “understanding” (root byn; cf. 23:1, “note well”; 23:4, “have the wisdom”), honoring his parents by honoring their teaching. The charge is backed up with a motivation in 23:24–25. Parents’ rejoicing is in each of the four lines, the verbs for “great joy” (gil) and “delights” (yišmaḥ) repeating in a chiastic pattern.
23:26–28. The parent’s teaching on the heart (cf. 23:12, 15–18) resumes with the evocative phrase in 23:26, “My son, give me your heart.” To give the heart is to entrust it to the one who will direct it through teaching, although some affection is certainly involved. The father is also an example as he asks the son to observe “my ways” with “your eyes.” What is seen with the eye is stored in the heart, so the father urges the son to let his eyes “keep” (tiroṣnah, “be pleased with”) his ways.
The motivation for this charge is the danger of the prostitute or harlot (zonah, 6:26; 7:10; cf. Deut. 23:18), whose promiscuous ways are a deep pit (cf. Prov. 9:18; 22:14). The warning stands in parallel with one about the “strange woman” (nokriyyah, 2:16; 20:16), who is off limits. She lies in wait like a bandit, a common image in Proverbs (1:11, 18; 2:12–22; 7:12; 12:6; 24:15), multiplying her victims (cf. 2:22).11 Just as those who are not careful to watch their ways can fall into a pit, so they can be easy picking for predators who wait along the back roads.
23:29–35. Another warning about drunkenness (cf. 23:20–21) takes the form of a satire, using key words from the chapter (“eye”; “beat” or “punish,” 23:13–14, 35; “end,” aḥarit, 23:18, 32) to make a summary point. A series of rhetorical questions begins with general descriptions of woe and sorrow and ends with the hangover problem of eyes that are bloodshot (or bleary, cf. 23:29). If we have a riddle in 23:29, the answer is provided: The person who has these problems is the one who lingers over wine.
Therefore, the teacher warns, “Do not gaze at wine” as it shines red, sparkling in the cup, going smoothly down the throat, seductive as any wayward woman.12 Yet what goes down smoothly bites like a snake “in the end” (cf. 23:18, where “future” is aḥarit). The “bite” refers to the list of wine’s stupefying effects: visions (23:33), reeling (23:34), and the dangerous combination of dulled senses mixed with bravado (23:35). “I can take it!” says the drunk; feeling invincible, he is actually going down like a boxer who has taken too many blows. The “high sea” is (lit.) “the heart of the sea” (leb-yam, 23:34), which is actually the low point of the wave as one sinks down, a contrast with the “head” (roʾš) or top of the mast, perhaps intended to compare seasickness to drunkenness, or possibly the hangover.13 The braggart claims he is not hurt, but in reality he is addicted to this form of self-abuse (23:35).
Bridging Contexts
WE HAVE SEEN that the key words “heart” (leb, 23:7, 12, 15, 17, 19, 26, 33, 34) and “eye” (ʿayin, 23:5, 6, 26, 29, 31, 33) appear throughout this part of the “sayings of the wise,” restating and developing the truth of previous chapters. What the eye takes in is stored in the heart: “My son, give me your heart and let your eyes keep to my ways” (23:26). The father’s touching plea calls for an identification with parental teaching, values, and view of the world. But this learning can be perverted if the eyes are led astray by that which seduces, especially wine, for the “eyes will see strange sights” and the “mind [heart] imagine confusing things” (23:33).
Dangers of undisciplined desire. These typical themes of ancient instructional literature are developed in the sayings about uncontrolled eating and drinking and the need for discipline (musar, 23:12–13). Food and drink can deceive, so the young learner is warned not to “crave delicacies” (23:3, 6) or to “linger over wine,” which can make one stupid and miserable (23:29–35). In between these warnings, the parents plead with their son to make them glad by becoming wise (23:15–25), adding yet another warning that foolish gluttony and drunkenness only make one poor (23:20–21). It takes wisdom and discernment to recognize drunkenness and gluttony for what they are, to see the trap that hides under the bait. Therefore, to bring the wisdom teaching of these instructions into our day, we can reflect on the new information these sayings present about deception and the hidden dangers of undisciplined desire.
(1) The three vignettes about deceptive delicacies and riches in 23:1–8 speak to gluttony, because the lack of control over appetite marks one as self-centered and unfit to serve. People sometimes say that it does not matter if their leaders practice personal morality as long as they work for the public good, but the sages of Proverbs will have none of it. They do not distinguish the shrewd but indiscreet leader from the righteous but naive one. For them savvy and righteousness go together. Jesus had no patience for those who would use leadership to serve themselves, chastising the Pharisees for their topsy-turvy values: “Woe to you, blind guides! You say, ‘If anyone swears by the temple, it means nothing; but if anyone swears by the gold of the temple, he is bound by his oath.’ You blind fools! Which is greater: the gold, or the temple that makes the gold sacred?” (Matt. 23:16–17).
The sages in Proverbs insist that the pursuit of good but transitory things like food and money makes a poor goal for life. After reading that riches grow wings to fly away, it is hard to know who is more to be pitied, the stingy one whose “heart is not with” guests or the craving one who eats his delicacies only to get sick and lose them (Prov. 23:6–8). “Have the wisdom” to cease such pursuits, we read (23:4), or we will spend all our energies chasing the wind. Instead, we must constantly remind ourselves that the wisdom of Proverbs is primarily about managing our desires.
Can we really let wisdom guide what we want in life and how we go about getting it? Unfortunately, trained by media culture, we want everything, and thus we make everything into a commodity. According to Greg Miller and Michael Real, the baseball players’ strike of 1994 marked the turn toward a new understanding of sports in America, one in which individual free agency and its promise of sky-high salaries finally took precedence over the more traditional values of teamwork and excellence. One might argue that professional sports have always been about money, but Miller and Real insist that the rejection of baseball’s “grand narrative” of dedication and sacrifice (as typified by Lou Gehrig), along with the increased role of broadcast media in hyping the drama of the ball games and negotiation games, and the commitment to unconstrained capitalism are signs of an emerging postmodern consciousness.14
To speak in this way, however, is merely to describe the current signs of an age-old problem. Jesus told the parable of the workers in the vineyard after the rich man walked away sad, unable to let go of what he had to give to the poor. When Peter reminded Jesus that he and the others had left everything to follow him, Jesus laid out their reward; they would sit on thrones and judge the twelve tribes of Israel and give out rewards to everyone else. But, he added, they would have to know how those rewards will be distributed: “Many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first” (Matt. 19:30).
This parable about a landowner who hires laborers to work one hour and pays them the same as those hired in the morning brings the point home. The early morning workers grumble that the treatment is unfair. They should be worth more, they say, and the landowner answers: “Don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am generous?” (Matt. 20:15). “Envious” translates a Greek phrase that literally translates “evil of eye,” the description of the stingy man in Proverbs 23:6 (cf. 23:17). The point is clear: God wants us to give generously; we want to be sure we get what we are worth. We are the greedy host and the greedy guest. We crave delicacies. We are “always thinking about the cost” (23:7).
(2) Worse than simply craving and striving after riches is throwing away wise words and grasping for the property of others. Instead, those who apply themselves to learn can also offer discipline (23:9–14). Two views of instruction stand in tension: “Do not speak to a fool” who will spurn the teaching, but “do not withhold discipline” from those who might receive it. Wisdom learning includes knowing how to discern when correction will be effective or wasted (cf. 26:4–5). Certainly it is better to receive correction, even when painful, than to fall into the kind of folly that moves a boundary stone and will summon the strong Defender (23:10–11). This warning seems out of place among these sayings on teaching and learning, but we have seen that Yahweh is often named when the poor are being cheated or oppressed (cf. 22:22–23).
The placement of this saying suggests that discipline that saves the soul from death also averts Yahweh’s judgment.15 How are we to teach in this way—holding up Yahweh as the defender of the poor while we work at teaching and correcting, encouraging discipline of thought and deed, and hoping our children and students will learn to discipline their desires? It seems to me that the image of a God who comes to the aid of the poor connects with the inner sense of justice that drives so many of the good/evil movies about cops and superheroes. We should instruct our children to identify themselves with this Defender. This possibility of identifying with Yahweh in his view of things and in his purposes may just restore the motivation to learn that is so absent from much of education.
In my limited experience, students of junior and high school age do not see why it is wrong to center their lives around material goods, for it does not seem to hurt anybody. However, the potential for craving to turn to grasping and its potential for injustice and abuse of the poor may provide motivation to learn. Strong teaching of this sort may be the analogy of the rod of punishment we are to practice today.
(3) Verses 15–25 are framed with the joy of parents over a young adult who learns wisdom. Twice the son hears it is better to be wise, better than to envy sinners or join with drunkards and gluttons. Interestingly, these words about associations show that their children’s identifications are at stake here. If they identify with the parents by embracing their teaching, the parents are glad. But if they join with the dissolute or even envy the lives of sinners from a distance, there is the danger of a short life of poverty.
Thus, the very first instruction of Proverbs insisted that one chooses one’s life by choosing one’s associations, for there the father warned his son not to go with “sinners” or to accept their invitation (1:10). As we said in the comments on 22:24–27, the principle here is not avoiding all those we might call sinners (after all, we are sinners too) but rather refusing to join with them in their goals or the paths they walk on to reach them. The point is not to reject people but the ways they represent. We today need godly wisdom to figure out the subtle stray paths we must reject. Hard as it is to stay away from obvious sins, it is even harder to avoid those subtle temptations of desire, the ways we indulge ourselves to our detriment, much like one who eats or drinks too much.
The goal, as we have seen throughout Proverbs, is to point the heart in the right direction (23:19)—away from undisciplined desire and toward wisdom and fear of Yahweh. The parallelism of 23:17 suggests that the affections of our hearts can be expressed as envy or zeal. By examining our reactions, we can look to see whether our hearts envy and crave or whether they experience zeal and joy. When we are feeling a lust for more, we can know we are on the wrong path. What, then, does this say for a culture that is never satisfied?
(4) The call for identification with one’s parents and their dedication to wisdom continues into the sayings on women and wine (23:26–35), for the father prefaces them by saying, “Give me your heart.” If the son is responsible to keep his own heart on the right path (23:19), he learns it by giving his heart to another, attending to the parents’ teaching and example. The popularity of wisdom figures like Yoda in Star Wars and Gandalf in Lord of the Rings should encourage us that we are not on the wrong track if we speak about external and internal discipline with our kids. Certainly the teaching that compares envy and lust with zeal and joy is tested by temptations of sexual pleasure apart from lifelong emotional and spiritual commitment, or temptations of drunken feelings of freedom and being invincible.
In popular discourse, sexual addiction has taken its place alongside substance addiction as another powerful force that overpowers and pulls people away from paths that would lead to their deepest desires. While Proverbs never uses the language of sexual addiction, this teaching does emphasize the deadly power of sex out of bounds, and perhaps the juxtaposition of sexual lust and drunkenness is meant to point out the similarities. “Do not gaze at wine” sounds like a warning about gazing at a lustful woman. The father wants the son’s heart; he has it if the son watches his ways to emulate them, letting his eyes keep to those ways. But if the young man looks at the woman or the glass of wine, he will not be watching his own way and will be caught unaware. Perhaps this is why the teacher says that this woman is a deep pit or a bandit lying in wait and that wine is like a snake or an attacker (23:35; cf. 24:1).
In addition, these seductive pleasures also threaten to hold power over us and make us captive. In our desire to be free of constraints, we become slaves of our desires. Wisdom in this sense is like Paul’s freedom in Christ; in it we find ourselves able and even empowered to choose the right way (Gal. 5:1, 13).
The discipline of the heart. In sum, this section of the words of the wise frames the earnest teaching of the parents with examples of desire out of bounds, most notably gluttony and drunkenness. “My son,” the teacher says, “give me your heart, keep your eyes on me, for you may look aside to delicacies, you may envy sinners, you may join with drunks and gluttons, you may give your heart to prostitutes, you may be seduced by the eye of wine. To go with any of these is to reject your parents who gave you life, but to seek wisdom is to love them even as you grow into independence.”
The parents’ teaching is about discipline of desire, but it is also about the use of the heart in two important senses: a heart can be filled with wise teaching to direct one’s paths (23:26), but a heart can also experience the affections of envy and greed, or zeal and joy (23:15–17). For this reason, the teachers repeat what has been said to link it with something new (in good biblical fashion). Here they repeat the warnings against the adulterous women and violent men (cf. 2:12–22) and juxtapose them with warnings against less obvious distractions like excesses of eating and drinking. The teaching moves from subtle failures at the ancient business lunch to rock bottom failures like the drunkard.
The prevention and remedy is discipline, learned from proper identification with models and internalized. In this way, the sages used the word “heart” to speak to both our intentions and affections. If the student’s heart is pointed in the right direction (ways and zeal), then the parents’ hearts will rejoice. As in the earlier instructions, the young steward is still asked to choose.
Contemporary Significance
THE SAGE WHO spoke to his son, “Give me your heart,” would say the same to us, urging us to keep our eyes on wise ways of living, to understand the connection between eyes and heart as well as the heart’s capacity to express our intentions and affections. In contemporary terms, we can apply these insights as we reflect on our pursuits, name those areas that require discipline, and set out specific plans for walking in the ways of wisdom.
Reflection on our pursuits. We can practice regular reflection about our activities and pursuits as well as the effect they have on our inner lives. As we think about the examples in this chapter, we may be struck with some of the differences between ancient dinner etiquette and our own, but even more surprised at the similarities. Craving after the deceits of luxurious food and riches is still with us, though in different forms. For us, the riches do not always fly away, but the satisfaction that they are supposed to bring does. David Meyer calls this “soaring wealth and shrinking spirit ‘the American paradox.’ More than ever we have big houses and broken homes, high incomes and low morale. In an age of plenty, we feel spiritual hunger.”16
Certainly a first step in the right direction is taking an inner inventory of our pursuits and the satisfaction they bring. This is not to say that only what satisfies is good; rather, it is an attempt to turn things around, to seek what is good because it satisfies. In our age of plenty, when many middle and upper class people do not struggle for basic needs and economic survival, if a pursuit is not satisfying, this can be a sign that we are into something bad.
Students in a seminary course were asked to pretend it was their seventieth birthday and write a letter about their lives, particularly how they lived and used their money. The professor was struck that the students wrote letters that expressed a deep faith and a growing sense of compassion for a needy world. The letter exercise, say Christine and Tom Sine, is also one way to set our hearts in the right direction and keep our eyes on good practices. The letter could be followed with an assessment of time remaining until age seventy and the steps needed to bring one’s life into line with that goal.17
Areas that require discipline. We can name those areas of life in which our desires may need the discipline of wisdom. Throughout Proverbs we have seen that our desires are never negated or labeled as bad, but the dangers of pursuing them irresponsibly are always before us. The warnings against gluttony and drunkenness, juxtaposed with the seductions of illicit sexuality, make an old connection. Movies like Big Night, Like Water for Chocolate, and Chocolat have established a genre in film that is at least as old as the Song of Songs and its description of kisses like wine. Arguing from research and his own counseling practice that sexual appetites are more difficult to control for men while women have more problems with appetites for food, Karl Scheibe wonders if at root men tend to seek power while women more often seek acceptance, both to feed ego needs.18 Certainly it is not the physical needs that move us to action, as an earlier generation of psychologists claimed, but rather our symbolic needs for success and significance.
We are far more easily sated in our bodily appetites than we are by images and tales of romance and banquet. The major psychological truth about human beings is not that they are driven by needs for food and for sex, but rather that human imagination has transfigured eating into gastronomy and sex into eroticism.19
If it is a quest for some nonphysical satisfaction that moves us, the proverbs instruct us about the subtle or not-so-subtle dangers of gluttony, moving from poor table manners to the outright dissipation of the drunkard. While not stated as such, they also warn us against the dangers of addictions to food, sex, work, and a host of other substances and experiences that feed us in ways that have nothing to do with our bodily needs. By pointing out the painful and even deadly consequences of appetites that know no bounds, they show that we are either masters of our desires or they are masters of us. This is not to argue that sheer force of will is called for; every twelve-step group acknowledges a higher power and the need for accountable relationships with peers.20 But given the potency of desire and its strength and persistence, we must recognize the potential for addiction in all of us, and it is appropriate to view it as sin.
New priorities. Can addiction also describe a society that refuses to practice self-control over desires? Certainly the many testimonies collected by Christine and Tom Sine say so. They especially quote those who say that living to give rather than accumulate produces a deeper sense of satisfaction than they thought imaginable, as if they found what they were created to do and experience. As an antidote to our addictive culture, they call believers to take the off-ramp from the fast track and create a mission statement that sets new priorities for their lives. To keep the heart on the right path, they recommend writing the personal or family mission statement, a practice made popular by Stephen Covey.21 They recommend peeling back the busy schedules that leave us frantic and overtired for a time of reflection and writing a statement that reflects the good life, that is, the life given away.
For the Sines it means working as consultants to churches, sharing their own experiences of mission work and helping those Christian bodies dream up new ways to meet needs. For others like Max Depree of DePree Leadership Center, it means running a business in a way that puts caps on executive salaries and seeks to raise the wage of the lowest paid workers. For others, it involves weekly investment in community service or annual mission trips.
Reflecting on our pursuits, recognizing and dealing with addictions, and setting a mission statement to guide us are just three ways to put the new teaching of the sages to work in contemporary life. This much is clear: Given that the quality of life is so poor for so many in our world and that our efforts to achieve satisfaction by having plenty have failed miserably, putting a knife to our throats (desires) doesn’t sound like such a bad idea at all.