The Care of Widows in the Church—part 1 The Ministry of the Church to Widows (5:3-8)
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Honor widows who are widows indeed; but if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to practice piety in regard to their own family, and to make some return to their parents; for this is acceptable in the sight of God. Now she who is a widow indeed, and who has been left alone has fixed her hope on God, and continues in entreaties and prayers night and day. But she who gives herself to wanton pleasure is dead even while she lives. Prescribe these things as well, so that they may be above reproach. But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith, and is worse than an unbeliever. (5:3-8)
God has always designed that women be the special objects of care. They are to be under the umbrella of male protection, provision, authority, and direction. Anyone who believes that women, like men, are to support themselves needs to recognize the obvious fact that this whole section is concerned only with helping women in need. It assumes the divine design that calls men to support themselves and their wives, and a woman to love and serve the one who supports her. When that support is gone, she is still to be cared for. That is obvious through this entire text. Because of that, God takes a special interest in the plight of women who have lost their husbands. Psalm 68:5 describes God as “a father of the fatherless and a judge for the widows.” Exodus 22:22-24 gives the following stern warning about the treatment of widows: “You shall not afflict any widow or orphan. If you afflict him at all, and if he does cry out to Me, I will surely hear his cry; and My anger will be kindled, and I will kill you with the sword; and your wives shall become widows and your children fatherless.” Deuteronomy 27:19 adds, “Cursed is he who distorts the justice due an alien, orphan, and widow.” In Isaiah 1:17 God says, “Learn to do good; seek justice, reprove the ruthless; defend the orphan, plead for the widow.” Psalm 146:9 reads, “The Lord protects the strangers; He supports the fatherless and the widow.” God’s people must treat widows with the same special care that He does.
Ideally, the Old Testament indicates, widows were to remarry. Where remarriage was delayed or impossible, they were to remain in their father’s house (Gen. 38:11), or even the home of their mother-in-law (Ruth 1:16). Further, under the levirate marriage provision of the law, a widow’s unmarried brother-in-law was to marry her. If he were already married, the duty devolved to the next nearest kin (cf. Deut. 25:5-10). An example of that principle in action was the marriage of Boaz to Ruth (Ruth 3:12; 4:1-10).
In the New Testament, our Lord Jesus Christ reveals the compassionate heart of God toward widows. In Mark 12:41-44, He commended the poor widow who gave out of her poverty:
And He sat down opposite the treasury, and began observing how the multitude were putting money into the treasury; and many rich people were putting in large sums. And a poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which amount to a cent. And calling His disciples to Him, He said to them, “Truly I say to you, this poor widow put in more than all the contributors to the treasury; for they all put in out of their surplus, but she, out of her poverty, put in all she owned, all she had to live on.”
That passage gives an insight into the status of widows in first-century Jewish culture. They were usually poor, and often destitute, without any means of earning a living since women were barred from employment outside the home. The hardship faced by widows is illustrated by our Lord’s parable of the widow and the judge (Luke 18:1ff.; cf. Luke 20:47).
It fell upon the local synagogues to relieve the plight of widows. Customarily, a group from each synagogue would make the rounds on Friday mornings, collecting goods and money to be distributed to the needy widows later in the afternoon. In spite of those efforts, however, many widows were still impoverished, as the above passage indicates.
Luke 7:11-17 is another text which demonstrates God’s loving concern for widows:
And it came about soon afterwards, that He went to a city called Nain; and His disciples were going along with Him, accompanied by a large multitude. Now as He approached the gate of the city, behold, a dead man was being carried out, the only son of his mother, and she was a widow; and a sizeable crowd from the city was with her. And when the Lord saw her, He felt compassion for her, and said to her, “Do not weep.” And He came up and touched the coffin; and the bearers came to a halt. And He said, “Young man, I say to you, arise!” And the dead man sat up, and began to speak. And Jesus gave him back to his mother. And fear gripped them all, and they began glorifying God, saying, “A great prophet has arisen among us!” and, “God has visited His people!” And this report concerning Him went out all over Judea, and in all the surrounding district.
This widow’s situation was desperate, since the dead man was her only son. Without him, she had no means of support. Our Lord was so moved with compassion over her plight that He raised her son from the dead.
It is not surprising that the first ministry to develop in the early church involved the care of widows. The early Christians continued in the tradition of the Jewish synagogue, motivated in their efforts by the love of Christ. A conflict over the fairness of the treatment of Hellenistic Jewish widows caused the apostles to organize what had been a spontaneous ministry. Accordingly, they chose seven godly men to oversee it.
Acts 9:36-41 gives further insight into the early church’s ministry to widows:
Now in Joppa there was a certain disciple named Tabitha (which translated in Greek is called Dorcas); this woman was abounding with deeds of kindness and charity, which she continually did. And it came about at that time that she fell sick and died; and when they had washed her body, they laid it in an upper room. And since Lydda was near Joppa, the disciples, having heard that Peter was there, sent two men to him, entreating him, “Do not delay to come to us.” And Peter arose and went with them. And when he had come, they brought him into the upper room; and all the widows stood beside him weeping, and showing all the tunics and garments that Dorcas used to make while she was with them. But Peter sent them all out and knelt down and prayed, and turning to the body, he said, “Tabitha, arise.” And she opened her eyes, and when she saw Peter, she sat up. And he gave her his hand and raised her up; and calling the saints and widows, he presented her alive.
Dorcas was a godly Christian woman who gave of her time and resources to support widows. That shows once again the destitution of widows in that culture, and the compassionate heart of believers toward them. This is the second resurrection in the New Testament specifically to benefit widows.
The church still has the responsibility to care for widows. James 1:27 defines true religion as visiting “orphans and widows in their distress.” To help Timothy lead the church at Ephesus to understand their responsibility to widows, Paul gives five principles to guide that service. This was a corrective passage for the Ephesian church, which undoubtedly was not handling this important duty appropriately. So Paul is compelled by the Holy Spirit to write instructions on the whole range of issues relating to widows.
THE OBLIGATION OF THE CHURCH TO SUPPORT WIDOWS
Honor widows who are widows indeed; (5:3)
The English word widow describes a woman whose husband is dead. The Greek word chēra (“widow”) includes that meaning, but is not limited to it. It is an adjective used as a noun, and means “bereft,” “robbed,” “having suffered loss,” or “left alone.” The word does not speak of how a woman was left alone, it merely describes the situation. It is broad enough to encompass those who lost their husbands through death, desertion, divorce, or imprisonment. It could even encompass those cases where a polygamist came to Christ and sent away his extra wives (William Barclay, The Letters to Timothy, Titus, and Philemon [Philadelphia: Westminster, 1975], 105).
The responsibility of the church thus extends to all qualifying women who have lost their husbands. With divorce and desertion rampant in our society, we face an even greater challenge than the Ephesian church.
The treatment of widows tests the spiritual character of the Christian community. Believers’ devotion to Christ can be seen in how they treat those without resources. Through the care it provides, the church manifests Christ’s love to the needy and gives witness of Christlike love to the watching world. Such care has been a part of the church’s life throughout its history. The welfare system of Western nations is a direct legacy of the church’s influence.
Honor is from timaō and means “to show respect or care,” “to support,” or “to treat graciously.” It encompasses meeting needs, including financial ones (cf. Matt. 27:9, where it is used of pricing something; and 1 Tim. 5:17).
Matthew 15:1-6 further supports the use of timaō in reference to financial support:
Then some Pharisees and scribes came to Jesus from Jerusalem, saying, “Why do Your disciples transgress the tradition of the elders? For they do not wash their hands when they eat bread.” And He answered and said to them, “And why do you yourselves transgress the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition? For God said, ‘Honor your father and mother,’ and, ‘He who speaks evil of father or mother, let him be put to death.’ But you say, ‘Whoever shall say to his father or mother, “Anything of mine you might have been helped by has been given to God,’” he is not to honor his father or his mother. And thus you invalidated the word of God for the sake of your tradition.”
First-century Judaism had developed an intricate system of extrabiblical regulations, some of which contradicted Scripture. Jesus rebuked them because of one of those most wicked traditions. They thought that a person could avoid his responsibility to support his parents if he had devoted that money to God. As our Lord points out, however, that selfish and hypocritical tradition directly contradicts the Old Testament command to honor one’s parents. In so saying, Jesus equates honoring parents with providing them financial support. Paul borrows the thought of Exodus 20:12, as interpreted by our Lord. He has in mind here not mere respect, but also money.
The church is not obligated to support all widows, only those who are widows indeed. Not all widows are truly alone and without means. Some have resources left them by their husbands or through their remaining family or friends. They do, however, need the spiritual comfort and care of the church. Financial support is to go to those completely alone and without necessary resources for daily life.
It is a sad commentary on our society that the number of bereft women in need of support is rising. The disintegration of the family not only creates more such women, but destroys the network of family support they depend on. The loss of that support will increase the burden on the church in the years ahead. That does not, however, alter the church’s responsibility. Churches will have to look honestly and carefully at how much money they are spending on activities that have no biblical mandate. Such activities spend money that is then not available for widows.
THE OBLIGATION OF THE CHURCH TO EVALUATE THE NEEDS OF WIDOWS
but if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to practice piety in regard to their own family, and to make some return to their parents; for this is acceptable in the sight of God. Now she who is a widow indeed, and who has been left alone has fixed her hope on God, and continues in entreaties and prayers night and day. But she who gives herself to wanton pleasure is dead even while she lives. Prescribe these things as well, so that they may be above reproach. But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith, and is worse than an unbeliever. (5:4-8)
The church cannot indiscriminately support all widows who ask for assistance (cf. v. 3). Paul lists the criteria for determining what widows the church should support in verses 4-8. These verses define a widow indeed.
Widows with children or grandchildren are to receive support from them, not the church. The family has the primary responsibility for its own widows. A widow’s relatives must first learn to practice piety in regard to their own family. The adverb proton (first) means first in time or priority. Piety, or godliness, begins in one’s own family, since the family is the context in which genuine godliness is manifested (cf. 3:4, 5, 12; 5:8).
Supporting widows is not only a mark of godliness, but of obedience. Believers are commanded to make some return to their parents. They owe a debt to those who brought them into the world, clothed them, fed them, housed them, supported them, and loved and nurtured them. Caring for a mother in the time of her need is but a small return for all she has done. This, Paul writes, is acceptable in the sight of God (cf. Ex. 20:12). The phrase carries a heavy responsibility, since it makes it obvious that this is a matter of priority for every child of God. No one can ever question what God requires in this area.
The principle that children must support their parents was generally accepted even in the pagan world. William Barclay writes a very interesting section on this historical perspective:
It was Greek law from the time of Solon that sons and daughters were, not only morally, but also legally bound to support their parents. Anyone who refused that duty lost his civil rights. Aeschines, the Athenian orator, says in one of his speeches: “And whom did our law-giver (Solon) condemn to silence in the Assembly of the people? And where does he make this clear? ‘Let there be,’ he says, ‘a scrutiny of public speakers, in case there be any speaker in the Assembly of the people who is a striker of his father or mother, or who neglects to maintain them or to give them a home.”’ Demosthenes says: “I regard the man who neglects his parents as unbelieving in and hateful to the gods, as well as to men.” Philo, writing of the commandment to honour parents, says: “When old storks become unable to fly, they remain in their nests and are fed by their children, who go to endless exertions to provide their food because of their piety.” To Philo it was clear that even the animal creation acknowledged its obligations to aged parents, and how much more must men? Aristotle in the Nichomachean Ethics lays it down: “It would be thought in the matter of food we should help our parents before all others, since we owe our nourishment to them, and it is more honourable to help in this respect the authors of our being, even before ourselves.” As Aristotle saw it, a man must himself starve before he would see his parents starve. Plato in The Laws has the same conviction of the debt that is owed parents: “Next comes the honour of loving parents, to whom, as is meet, we have to pay the first and greatest and oldest of debts, considering that all which a man has belongs to those who gave him birth and brought him up, and that he must do all that he can to minister to them; first, in his property; secondly, in his person; and thirdly, in his soul; paying the debts due to them for their care and travail which they bestowed upon him of old in the days of his infancy, and which he is now able to pay back to them, when they are old and in the extremity of their need.” (The Letters to Timothy, Titus, and Philemon [Philadelphia: Westminster, 1975], 106-7)
Joseph is an illustration of a man who honored his parents in obedience to the law of God. In Genesis 45:9-11 he said,
Hurry and go up to my father, and say to him, “Thus says your son Joseph, ‘God has made me lord of all Egypt; come down to me, do not delay. And you shall live in the land of Goshen, and you shall be near me, you and your children and your children’s children and your flocks and your herds and all that you have. There I will also provide for you, for there are still five years of famine to come, lest you and your household and all that you have be impoverished.’”
Jacob came to Egypt as invited and Joseph cared for him and all those with him (Gen. 46:26ff.). Such honor and care is what God expects of every believer.
Paul returns to the term widow indeed to further define she who is such. There are several features to consider. The first criterion for determining true widowhood is whether she has family. A widow who has been left alone meets that requirement. Has been left alone is from monoō. Our English word “mono,” which means “single,” derives from it. The perfect tense of the participle indicates a permanent state or condition of being forsaken and without resources. Obviously she is one who has no supporting family and the church has an obligation to such.
A second criterion is that a widow be a believer. She must be one who has fixed her hope on God. The perfect tense of the verb elpizō (hope) again indicates a continual state or condition. Her settled attitude is one of hope in God. That demonstrates the genuineness of her faith.
The specific contents of her hope include God’s promises to care for widows. She looks to God for her help and thus obeys the command of Jeremiah 49:11: “Let your widows trust in Me.” She trusts that God will provide her needs as He did for the widow of Zarephath in 1 Kings 17:8-16:
Then the word of the Lord came to him, saying, “Arise, go to Zarephath, which belongs to Sidon, and stay there; behold, I have commanded a widow there to provide for you.” So he arose and went to Zarephath, and when he came to the gate of the city, behold, a widow was there gathering sticks; and he called to her and said, “Please get me a little water in a jar, that I may drink.” And as she was going to get it, he called to her and said, “Please bring me a piece of bread in your hand.” But she said, “As the Lord your God lives, I have no bread, only a handful of flour in the bowl and a little oil in the jar; and behold, I am gathering a few sticks that I may go in and prepare for me and my son, that we may eat it and die.” Then Elijah said to her, “Do not fear; go, do as you have said, but make me a little bread cake from it first, and bring it out to me, and afterward you may make one for yourself and for your son. For thus says the Lord God of Israel, The bowl of flour shall not be exhausted, nor shall the jar of oil be empty, until the day that the Lord sends rain on the face of the earth.’” So she went and did according to the word of Elijah, and she and he and her household ate for many days. The bowl of flour was not exhausted nor did the jar of oil become empty, according to the word of the Lord which He spoke through Elijah.
Only to such women does the church have a responsibility. Believers may choose to help non-Christian widows (cf. Gal. 6:10), but the church is obligated by heaven’s command to help believing ones.
A third criterion is that a widow be a godly believer. She must be one who continues in entreaties and prayers night and day. Such devotion to communion with the Lord is a mark of a committed Christian. Deōsis (entreaties) refers to any manner or kind of requests, and could include the pleas for personal needs. Such praying shows her total dependence on God to supply her needs. Proseuchō (prayers) is a more general term. It refers to communion with God, which includes worship and praise. She not only makes requests of God, but also worships and communes with Him. Night and day is a Jewish idiomatic expression that means “constantly,” or “all the time” (cf. Acts 20:31; 1 Thess. 2:9; 3:10; 2 Thess. 3:8). Throughout the day and night she lifts her heart to God in prayer and praise (cf. 1 Thess. 5:17; Eph. 6:18).
Such a widow was the prophetess Anna:
And there was a prophetess, Anna the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was advanced in years, having lived with a husband seven years after her marriage, and then as a widow to the age of eighty-four. And she never left the temple, serving night and day with fastings and prayers. (Luke 2:36-37)
She was devoted to the service of the Lord, having never remarried. To her was given the privilege of seeing the Messiah. She is a model for the godly widows who receive care from the church.
On the other hand, a widow who gives herself to wanton pleasure does not qualify. Spatalaō (gives herself to wanton pleasure) appears only one other time in the New Testament (cf. James 5:5). The Septuagint, the Greek translation of the Old Testament, uses the term in Ezekiel 16:49. It is translated there “careless ease.” The word describes the person who leads a life of pleasure with no thought of what is right or wrong. Such a widow, Paul declares, is dead even while she lives. Although she may be alive physically, she is dead spiritually. While she was no doubt involved in the church when her husband was around, she is clearly unregenerate (dead; cf. Eph. 2:1). Far from being supported by the church, such women need to be abandoned to the consequences of their sin. Their desperate situation may then lead them to repentance. In the meantime, kingdom resources must not be used to support a sinful lifestyle. The truth that such widows are not to be supported is so obvious that Paul does not bother to command it.
Paul then instructs Timothy to prescribe (command) these things as well, so that they may be above reproach. These things gathers up everything the apostle has said since verse 3. The goal of Paul’s teaching is that all involved, widows, families, and the church, be above reproach so that no one can find fault with their conduct in this matter. The church’s reputation, and that of her Lord, are at stake. By supporting those widows who are deserving, and refusing to support those who are not, the church, as well as its pastors (cf. 3:2), will be above criticism and God will be honored.
Verse 8 states negatively the truth expressed positively in verse 4. In verse 4, Paul commanded that children take care of their parents. Here he states that those who fail to do so are worse than unbelievers, who naturally do so. The repetition of the principle implies there were many violations of it in the church at Ephesus. The phrase but if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household is a first-class conditional statement in the original. It could be translated, “When any of you does not provide,” or, “Since some of you are not providing.” Provide is from pronoeō, which means “to plan before.” It describes the forethought necessary to provide care for the widows in one’s family.
The phrase for his own is purposely vague. It refers to anyone within the circle of family relationships, surely even servants or close friends. A believing man who is head of a house has a mandated responsibility to provide for those of his household. The latter group is more narrow than the phrase his own. It focuses on those in the immediate family, where his responsibility begins.
Failing to provide for those in either the narrow or the wide circle makes a believer guilty of two things. First, he has denied the faith. That does not refer to the loss of his personal salvation. Paul here is not judging the soul but the actions. Rather, it means that such a person has denied the principle of compassionate love that is at the heart of the Christian faith (cf. John 13:35; Rom. 5:5; 1 Thess. 4:9). There must be no dichotomy between faith and conduct.
Second, his failure makes him in practice worse than an unbeliever. As already noted, even the pagans knew the importance of and felt the duty of providing for their parents. For believers to fail to measure up to that standard is inexcusable. They are under greater condemnation because they have the commandment of God to love, and the power of God to enable them to do so.
The supreme example of loving care for the widows in one’s family can be seen in our Lord Jesus Christ. On the cross, nearing death, He nevertheless arranged the care of His widowed mother. John 19:26— 27 relates the story: “When Jesus therefore saw His mother, and the disciple whom He loved standing nearby, He said to His mother, ‘Woman, behold, your son!’ Then He said to the disciple, ‘Behold, your mother!’ And from that hour the disciple took her into his own household.” That shows the importance of the issue of caring for widows. Jesus spoke from the cross to only two individuals. He forgave the dying thief, and arranged for the care of His widowed mother. Nothing so clearly reveals the heart of God as that. While bearing the burden of the world’s sins, Jesus’ mind was concerned with the salvation of one sinner, and the care of one widow.
The care of widows begins with each believer. The church cannot do collectively what it will not do individually. It is a responsibility that cannot be avoided.